Replace BM's, or leave party uneven?

Re: Replace BM's, or leave party uneven?

• calliopeia2013 member

  

  July 2013

  Leave the party as is.  You're totally right- no one wants to feel like they're your second choice.

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• Viczaesar member

  

  July 2013

  jrkjpf said:

  Long story short, we were suppose to have wed Sept 2nd 2012, due to unforeseen circumstances we had to postpone to August 31st of this year.

  We postponed about 2 months before the wedding, so the party was already chosen, and a lot has changed since then. 1 BM decided to back out because of comfort issues being that her and her "husband" are both in the wedding and are going through a divorce, completely understandable. Another BM and I had a very bad misunderstanding that she is unwilling to look past so she has also backed out, fine. A part of me doesn't feel right finding "replacements" because i feel like if I do pick 2 more girls, they will feel as just that, a replacement. (Although 2 girls i would pick I was not friends with last year)... Should I go ahead and pick 2 more girls, or just leave the party as is?

  Don't replace people.
  

  
  
  
  

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• Sierra524 member

  

  July 2013

  We have the same date! Its getting close! I wouldnt replace your BMs. Just leave the sides uneven...its not a big deal.
  

  
  

  
  

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• libby2483 member

  

  July 2013

  Just leave the sides uneven.  You are correct in thinking that it would be hurtful, especially to the "second-string" BMs.

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• aRachel21 member

  

  July 2013

  I don't know, I think your situation may be an exception to the rule, since your wedding was postponed for a year. Would you pick these 2 new girls if the other 2 hadn't dropped out? If you're picking them to make the sides even, then no. But if you really want them to be by your side then go for it. Also, your wedding is soon! Will they even have enough time to get a dress??

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• jrkjpf member

  

  July 2013

  aRachel21 said:

  I don't know, I think your situation may be an exception to the rule, since your wedding was postponed for a year. Would you pick these 2 new girls if the other 2 hadn't dropped out? If you're picking them to make the sides even, then no. But if you really want them to be by your side then go for it. Also, your wedding is soon! Will they even have enough time to get a dress??

  That's my fear, but several of my current BM's still have not gotten dresses even after my badgering LOL... I'm just going to let things how they are, at this point I don't really care if the sides are uneven, even, etc.

  Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. -Bob Marley

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• AllieBear725 member

  

  July 2013

  Please don't add anyone else to your WP. Leave the sides uneven. Nobody wants to feel like a replacement.

  
  

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• AllieBear725 member

  

  July 2013

  jrkjpf said:

  aRachel21 said:

  I don't know, I think your situation may be an exception to the rule, since your wedding was postponed for a year. Would you pick these 2 new girls if the other 2 hadn't dropped out? If you're picking them to make the sides even, then no. But if you really want them to be by your side then go for it. Also, your wedding is soon! Will they even have enough time to get a dress??

  That's my fear, but several of my current BM's still have not gotten dresses even after my badgering LOL... I'm just going to let things how they are, at this point I don't really care if the sides are uneven, even, etc.

  
  I'm glad this is what you're deciding. I think your wedding will be just fine. We have the same date

  
  

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• GetThePointe77 member

  

  July 2013

  In my opinion, if I were close enough to the "new" picks that I could honestly come to them and tell them, hey, we've gotten really close in the last year since I postponed my wedding, if you're interested I would love for you to be a bridesmaid, then I don't see how it could harm anyone. On the other hand, I had a bridesmaid back out (due to her family/religious stuff which was totally fine), and I did not choose to replace her - its just going to be uneven and I dont think it will be a big deal. 

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• aurianna member

  

  July 2013

  While I could potentially see it being not-the-worse-offense-ever in some extreme circumstances to ask girls that you've only become friends with over the last year (since it wasn't like you chose these other girls over them; you weren't really friends with them), I'd still trust your gut and not replace.
  There could be the perception from them that you're just asking them just to make the sides even (especially if the other BMs backed out fairly recently). Also, the gal that you're still friends with who is going through a divorce might feel like she's replaceable.
  
  Uneven is fine. Good luck with your wedding. Fast approaching.
  

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