Ring Bearer & Unity Candle Ceremony

Re: Ring Bearer & Unity Candle Ceremony

• Jen4948 member

  

  July 2013 edited July 2013

  Yes.  Don't do it.
  
  I would definitely not have a dog, even a "super well trained service dog" handle rings.
  
  Also, you don't need to "include" your nieces and nephew just so they won't feel left out.  An important lesson for small kids to learn as they grow older is that they are not always entitled to active roles and just being guests suffices to "include" them.  That said, I don't see why your nephew couldn't be the ring bearer rather than the dog.
  

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• manateehugger member

  

  July 2013

  Have you thought about guests with animal allergies or fear of dogs? What about how the dog will react when around 100+ people? Don't get me wrong I LOVE dogs. But I think this idea can go really wrong.
  
  I'm kind of confused on your version of the unity candle. Typically the mom's light the two smaller candles after they walk down the aisle. The couple then uses the two separate candles to light the big unity candle during the ceremony.
  
  How old is your nephew? I'd just let him be the ring bearer over your dog.

  

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• itzMS member

  

  July 2013 edited July 2013

  If your fiance's dog is HIS service dog, he probably should stay by your fiance's side versus walking down an aisle. If your fiance is training this dog as a service dog, it may be detrimental to the dog's training to be used as a prop.

  Take a picture or two with the dog before the ceremony, but PLEASE leave him at home or at a doggie day care. Even the most well behaved dogs can get nervous in crowds.

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• AddieCake member

  

  July 2013

  How old is the nephew? I'm never crazy about children carrying fire. 

  
  

  And I'm on team "no dogs in the wedding." 

  
  

  
  

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• manateehugger member

  

  July 2013

  AddieL73 said:

  How old is the nephew? I'm never crazy about children carrying fire. 

  
  

  And I'm on team "no dogs in the wedding." 

  
  

  
  

  Oh geeze. This too.
  

  

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• BangBangs39

  

  July 2013

  skennygirl18 said:

  We are having my fiances dog act as "ring bearer" in our ceremony. He's a super well trained service dog so he's not going to require anyone to lead him down the aisle. I have two nieces who will be my flower girls and then I have a nephew who I don't want left out of the ceremony. We're doing a unity candle ceremony so I'm thinking about how I can have my nephew be part of that, or how to best organize it. I'm thinking about having him walk down the aisle with 2 candle lanterns (1 as representation for each family)), and then placing them on the alter. Later in the ceremony we can have our mothers come forward and each light a single candle from those lanterns to light the middle "unity" candle together. Any suggestions or thoughts? Thanks! 

  Can you describe this more for me... will the fire be contained inside the lantern until your mothers step forward to retrieve and light the actual unity candles?  How easy is it going to be for them to remove the burning candle from the lantern? If its difficult for them to remove, then I would rethink that.

  Other than that I like your plan, its sounds very nice!  Enjoy!!
  

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• skennygirl18 member

  

  July 2013

  My nephew just turned 7 in March. The aisle won't be very long, it's outdoors, and it'll just be little tealight candle lanterns so if he drops it, they'll go out or be contained at the very least. I'm very close with my nieces and nephew and it's important to me that he's also included because I want him to remember that he's special to me too. Yes, kids need to learn they're not entitled to anything but I see no reason not to want to include him on this. 

  
  

  The dog isn't his service dog, just trained as one (it's what his mom does). He's mature and a veteran at his job, been around large crowds before too and he's not going to be roaming the scene. He'll be with me around the corner until it's time for him to go then he's going to go directly to the grooms side, and then after the ceremony he'll be kenneled. I have absolute faith in this dog or I wouldn't allow it either. My own dog won't be part of the ceremony because he would be all over the place being a holy terror As for the allergy thing, I honestly don't know anyone off the top of my head who is allergic to dogs, but I guess there could be. I could make it known the dog will be there and they should probably avoid sitting by the aisle. The people who own the property where we're getting married have several dogs as well (all to be kenneled during service), so not sure if that will affect any allergic guests. 

  
  

  I know that my plan for the unity ceremony is a little off the normal design but I don't think it has to be done in a particular way necessarily. So I'm thinking of putting it into the middle of the ceremony, after our pastor has talked and just before our vows, just to emphasize the whole "becoming one" concept. If I had the two family candles (lanterns) on the alter, our moms would come forward at the designated time with their own candle sticks and light the main Unity candle together, have a prayer, then return to their seats. 
  

  
  

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• skennygirl18 member

  

  July 2013

  Ah, wait, I see where my hiccup is at. lol. I was thinking, that sounds too easy, why did I want input now? I need to figure out the best way for moms to do their thing and then have hubby and I light the unity candle (duh!). It's not something I've really seen a lot of but when I started doing ceremony idea research, I came across it and really liked it. Just need to tweak it a little. So maybe nephew only bring in one lantern for the moms to light Family Candles from at the beginning then us do our part before vows? And nephew could walk down the aisle just before moms?

  
  

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• itzMS member

  

  July 2013 edited July 2013

  @skennygirl18, no matter if it's in a lantern or not, a tea light (or any candle, really) isn't going to stay lit in an outdoor ceremony.

  Either have your nephew as the ring bearer, or have him attend as a guest. Not every child you're close to needs to be involved.

   

  p.s. make sure to have a quick clean-up option available for doggie dookie. Even the most well behaved dogs in the world are known to leave deposits at special moments. :-p

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• skennygirl18 member

  

  July 2013

  So I just read another post on theKnot from #lblasey about combining sand & candle unity ceremonies. She found wax crystals that they poured in a vial like sand but then they melted to make a candle. Sounds pretty cool to me, and solves the whole outdoor wind & flame issue. You could light the candle at the reception later, or light it on anniversaries? Or...... make an oil lamp, mixing oils provided by the 2 families? I'm bouncing ideas now. Backtracking a little, some food for thought is the only thing that set the candle ceremony above the sand ceremony for me originally was that we could incorporate bringing the "light of Christ" into our lives and our marriage.

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• erinlin25 member

  

  July 2013

  The unity candle is a symbol for uniting you and your husband as one-- what does your nephew have to do with that?  Leave the unity candle for you and your husband.  Typically the moms light the single candles in the processional (the candles are already up there). 
  
  Walking outdoors they most likely will blow out as he is walking anyway. It was 104 degrees at my ceremony and our candles still blew out and had to relight them.
  
   Your nephew can be a ring bearer either instead of the dog; or along with the dog-- or he can be a guest.  If you just want the dog, have your nephew wear a boutineer and he will feel special. 
  

  
  
  
  

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• BangBangs39

  

  July 2013

  skennygirl18 said:

  So I just read another post on theKnot from #lblasey about combining sand & candle unity ceremonies. She found wax crystals that they poured in a vial like sand but then they melted to make a candle. Sounds pretty cool to me, and solves the whole outdoor wind & flame issue. You could light the candle at the reception later, or light it on anniversaries? Or...... make an oil lamp, mixing oils provided by the 2 families? I'm bouncing ideas now. Backtracking a little, some food for thought is the only thing that set the candle ceremony above the sand ceremony for me originally was that we could incorporate bringing the "light of Christ" into our lives and our marriage.

  
  This sounds cute and more appropriate for an outdoor ceremony.  Also - you would be bringing "the light of Christ" into your life for years to come.  You could have your nephew bring the "family" wax crystals down the aisle and put at the alter of you'd like to keep him involved.  Good luck!

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