Ups and Downs of a Long Engagement

felixfelicis · April 2013

Are there any other October 2014 brides ambivalent about their long engagement period? FI and I are 2 months into a 19 month engagement. I feel like it was the right time for us to get engaged when we did and I know we're being smart by giving ourselves plenty of time to save money, but sometimes I get sad about how far away our wedding is! I always thought when I got engaged I wouldn't want to have an engagement period of longer than a year, but because of the timing in our lives, that just wasn't possible for FI and I.

However, today is one of those days when I'm glad we're waiting as long as we are. Looking at prices for photographers is making my head spin and I'm SO happy we have time to browse and save money.

How do you ladies feel about your engagement lengths?

jennyp37 · April 2013

I feel the same as you. Completely grateful some days, other days I'm totally anxious and can't wait to celebrate our love with family and friends! I'm grateful to have this time to plan, because like you said it's getting expensive! But also because I'm in grad school full time, working full time, and getting ready to do an internship, time is stretched thin! I try to keep in mind that this one day is not the beginning of our life together or our love, but a celebration with our loved ones of our continuous love. Happy planning!

smalfrie19 · May 2013

I am always back and forth. I am glad right now for the time because it give us time to save, and for one of us to find another job.

PrettyGirlLost · May 2013

Felix, you're on the Bee too ;-)

I am enjoying the length so far. I don't feel as stressed and pressured to find vendors, because I have over a year cushion to make sure I can get who I want. And actually, the last big vendor we need to find now is a DJ; We have our transportation set, need one last meeting with photograhers to finalize, and mu mom, FSIL , and I are doing the cake and the floral arrangements.

I also like the length because I can start working on all the DIY projects at a comfortable pace :-P

TeddiD34 · May 2013

I'm really enjoying our 2 year engagement period. I'm usually pretty high strung, so this way, I'm slowy thinking of all of the details, discussing them with buddy, and putting down deposits etc.

I'm getting pretty anxious about getting a dress (I kinda want it RIGHT NOW!!), but other than that, it really works for us, taking the relaxed mode of planning.

felixfelicis · May 2013

In Response to Re: Ups and Downs of a Long Engagement:
[QUOTE]Felix, you're on the Bee too ;-) I am enjoying the length so far. I don't feel as stressed and pressured to find vendors, because I have over a year cushion to make sure I can get who I want. And actually, the last big vendor we need to find now is a DJ; We have our transportation set, need one last meeting with photograhers to finalize, and mu mom, FSIL , and I are doing the cake and the floral arrangements. I also like the length because I can start working on all the DIY projects at a comfortable pace :-P
Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]
Yes ma'am! I love both of these forums! They're so different lol

I'm getting ready to start some DIY projects as well! This summer will give me lots of time to practice as I'm only in school until June. And I'm not crafty at all so I know I'm going to need time to experiment and make mistakes.

keochan · May 2013

I'm loving that we're having a 2 year engagement. Because of it we will have paid off the entire wedding with about 9 months to spare and I can focus on finishing school without being as stressed with wedding planning because we have so much time to spread it out.

jeweleglantine · May 2013

I am so glad I have extra time. I witnessed my bff plan a wedding in eight months and it was way too stressful. I also like to look at all my options before being forced to make a decision. Guess it's that perfectionist in me!

And yes, there will be DIY projects. I couldn't see my wedding any other way!

JessicaJupiter · June 2013

My engagement has been even longer. We got engaged in September of 2011 but aren't marrying until October of 2014. When we first got engaged it drove me mad because I wanted to dive in and start planning everything so I started to make notes but then I got a little depressed when I realized that I couldn't act on anything for years.

Since we've reached about the year and a half mark it has become exciting because everything has built up to the part where I get to start planning. I am very glad that I've had this much time because I was able to get a bunch of ideas together to figure out what I wanted so that now I can start putting my ideas into action without second guessing myself.

Jean0715 · June 2013

My FI and I have a love/hate relationship with having our wedding over a year and a half away. We are paying for the entire wedding, so its nice to be able to save enough to have the wedding we want and not have to worry. Its also nice to have extra planning time. We both work hectic jobs (48 hours a week is standard, but we usually get mandated for overtime at least once a week) so the extra time is a GODSEND!

The only problem I run into is a bit of jealousy. (Call it a personality flaw.) Many people we know are getting engaged after us and they are all setting their wedding dates before us. It kind of irks me a tad. I think mostly because I want to start getting into planning the details...and I just want to call him my Husband already!

kjlamb · June 2013

Jean0715 said:

My FI and I have a love/hate relationship with having our wedding over a year and a half away. We are paying for the entire wedding, so its nice to be able to save enough to have the wedding we want and not have to worry. Its also nice to have extra planning time. We both work hectic jobs (48 hours a week is standard, but we usually get mandated for overtime at least once a week) so the extra time is a GODSEND!

The only problem I run into is a bit of jealousy. (Call it a personality flaw.) Many people we know are getting engaged after us and they are all setting their wedding dates before us. It kind of irks me a tad. I think mostly because I want to start getting into planning the details...and I just want to call him my Husband already!

I totally get this.

tigger75 · June 2013

Jean0715 - I'm having the same issue with people jumping in ahead of us to get married. What makes it even worse in my case is that its my future brother-in-law and his soon to be wife that have jumped ahead of us. And...they are using the same rustic theme as we have been planning on doing since we got engaged and announced our date!!!

Jean0715 · June 2013

tigger75 Oh no! I would be so aggravated! Does his soon to be wife know that you two are having the same theme? Im sure there are going to be so many differences between their take on rustic and yours, so they wont look anything alike. Also how much time is in between the two weddings. If it is a significant amount of time, many people wont remember every little detail so it'll be all new to them. Another upside is you only share one common side of the family! Your family and friends will not be at her wedding!

But I agree I would be so aggravated and bummed.

des9724 · June 2013

tigger75 said:

Jean0715 - I'm having the same issue with people jumping in ahead of us to get married. What makes it even worse in my case is that its my future brother-in-law and his soon to be wife that have jumped ahead of us. And...they are using the same rustic theme as we have been planning on doing since we got engaged and announced our date!!!

Ugh! I totally understand this! Like the PP said, your take on rustic may be completely different, so you may not overlap at all! Luckily, you'll be able to make changes to your wedding in time incase something is really similar (and if you want to make a change). If you personalize your wedding, it won't matter if you have the same theme. For example, if you and your fiance love hockey, why not have a hockey-themed cake topper instead of the traditional rustic love birds.

tigger75 · June 2013

@Jean0715 - yes she is very aware of our theme! Her response is that she "can't help it if we like the same things." She's a person who likes things to be all about her and if she can beat me to something she will make sure she does. Her wedding is 3 1/2 months before ours...so that doesn't leave much time for us to change things if she does everything the way we are planning.

@des9724 - we have thought about putting our own little twist on the theme, but its not as easy as I thought it would be. It doesnt all seem to fit together.

Aray82 · June 2013

I just got engaged about a month ago and we are currently deciding between fall 2014 or waiting even longer for spring 2015. I'm a bit antsy, but we really need the extra time since we are both graduating with our PhDs and job-hunting next year so that will keep us pretty busy while we wait. I also live on the opposite side of the country from my hometown where the wedding will be so there's only a few times a year when we're both there and can check out venues, etc. Also, I just like having anticipation and things to look forward too

Jean0715 · June 2013

tigger75 said:

It doesnt all seem to fit together.

I feel the same way. I think it feels that way because we are so far out. Im sure as it approaches it will feel very much together.

pesematology · June 2013

I would recommend at least a two year engagement for anyone. I'm pleased to have the time to figure out not only what my partner and I want, but why we want it that way. It's great to have time to reflect on the type of experience we want to create and the meaning we hope it will hold for our families as well as for us.

rsbloom · July 2013

I am having a love/hate relationship with the engagement. I have friends jumping in front of me too, which is really aggravating, but it also gives me opportunities to see what they have done and learn from their successes and mistakes, which is nice. I like that I have more time to workout and get into shape, as well as take my time finding the perfect dress, but I am such a planner that it bothers me that I can't plan everything RIGHT NOW. I can't even get all my bridesmaids together at the same time, because they think it's super far off and therefore not a big deal.

smalfrie19 · July 2013

rsbloom said:

I am having a love/hate relationship with the engagement. I have friends jumping in front of me too, which is really aggravating, but it also gives me opportunities to see what they have done and learn from their successes and mistakes, which is nice. I like that I have more time to workout and get into shape, as well as take my time finding the perfect dress, but I am such a planner that it bothers me that I can't plan everything RIGHT NOW. I can't even get all my bridesmaids together at the same time, because they think it's super far off and therefore not a big deal.

I am in the same boat about planning and wanting everything settled "right now" but I am enjoying the length because it allows us to save

rsbloom · July 2013

The saving thing is definitely a plus!

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