XP and NER: I am disappointed with my photos

walgrrl · July 2013

I got married 10 days ago and our photographer just put up all of our wedding photos on his website. I'm not really saying he did a bad job, just that I am disappointed in the kinds of photos he took. I know there is nothing I can do about it now since the day has come and gone, so this is really more of a vent than anything and hopefully someone can tell me what to do to get past this.

The thing that's really upsetting me is that there are hardly any pictures of just me and the groom together. From our formal photo session during the cocktail hour, there are only 4 photos of just me and the groom together. That's it. And I'm not really too happy with how those 4 photos look. There aren't very many bridal party photos either and the ones we do have just look so awkward. We have tons and tons of family photos, getting ready photos, photos of my dress and accessories, etc., but hardly any of just me and the groom. In my view, photos of the bride and groom are the most important. Those are the ones you're going to frame, kwim?

He did take us back outside around sunset to do a few more photos of just the two of us, but by then my hair was a hot mess, I was exhausted (and it shows on my face), I didn't have my veil or bouquet anymore, and the groom was sweaty and didn't have his jacket on. The sunset photos are not even usable.

The photos are one of the post-wedding aspects I was most excited about. I couldn't wait to get them back and start choosing ones to frame. But now that I've seen them, I'm so disappointed. There are so few to choose from and the ones we do have are not that great. Maybe it's my fault for not being more explicit about what I wanted, but I really didn't think I had to tell a professional wedding photographer to make sure to get pictures of the bride and groom. I'm getting depressed about it, especially because I know there is absolutely nothing we can do about it at this point. We can't get dressed up and re-create the day. I know I could ask for my money back, but I don't even want to because that won't make me feel any better. Can someone just give me advice or say something to make me feel better?

misshart00 · July 2013

Are you sure that's all of them? Ten days is a pretty quick turn around for all of your photos. Can you post some here?

walgrrl · July 2013

He said that is all of them. In total, it is 475 photos. But most of them are ones I don't even care about, for example there are about 10 shots of my dress hanging on a hanger and at least 5 shots of my shoes. I get that that's a popular wedding photo, but I have more photos of my dress hanging up than I do of me with my groom. There are also tons of dance floor shots, which are cool photos, but they are not the ones I am going to frame and hang on my wall.

misshart00 · July 2013

Could you do a rock the dress session where you both get dressed back up and have a fun photo shoot?

With a different photographer.

daria24 · July 2013

I understand your initial disappointment, I would be too. One of the girls on my month board was really disappointed with her photos, she and her H did a Rock the Dress/Suit shoot a month later with a different photographer and absolutely loved her photos. She printed a bunch of them, used them for her holiday cards, etc.

Or you could end up like a lot of girls on a my month board, their first anniversary has come and gone, and they haven't ordered their photo album yet (mine's been designed since March and we just haven't uploaded the files yet. Maybe this weekend it will finally get done.)

walgrrl · July 2013

misshart00 said:

Could you do a rock the dress session where you both get dressed back up and have a fun photo shoot? With a different photographer.

I would be tempted to, except he rented his tux and has already returned it, my dress is now filthy from our outdoor ceremony and pictures, plus I would have to get my hair and makeup done again, my bouquet is gone, etc. I would love to do it, but the logistics of it, plus having to pay another photographer - I just don't think it's feasible.

NOLAbridealmost · July 2013

misshart00 said:

Could you do a rock the dress session where you both get dressed back up and have a fun photo shoot? With a different photographer.

I was going to suggest this exact same thing. A portrait session will not cost nearly as much as an entire wedding and you can get your hair done, wear the dress again, get the tux again for H and do some really beautiful photos. You can even try some "riskier" poses that you possibly wouldn't dare do on the day of the wedding for fear of stains (laying in the grass, etc.)

AprilH81 · July 2013

That is one of the things I am most worried about. I don't want to spend a ton of money on pictures and then be really unhappy about the final result.

I have no advice but maybe if you point out that there are more pictures of your dress and shoes than there are of you guys you may get some money back? For this to happen I think you would need to include the "bad" pictures too but it may help you make your point.

Good luck!

WinstonsGirl · July 2013

We did a rock/trash the dress session the day after and I did my own hair and makeup. I just threw it back in a low ponytail since it still had the curls in it from the night before. How dirty is your dress?? If it's not too bad, you may be able to work around the dirty parts, if it's just the hem for example and you won't even notice it in the photos. You don't need your bouquet - many of my photos don't have one and DH can wear a suit. I'd suggest a different photographer, or ask a friend who is good with a camera if you know someone. And tell them specifically what you want shot wise. You could cut down on the costs that way, or even do this a 1 year anniversary celebration to give you a bit of time to save for it??

I don't think I'll suggest photoshopping you two into photos together.

itzMS · July 2013

@walgrrl, ten days is a super quick turnaround. Sounds like he didn't spend enough time on retouching. I would go back and ask him to retouch any that you're disappointed with (sweaty issues, etc), plus ask to at least see any additional images he has of you and the groom since there are so few (photographers don't provide you with every image...for good reason, usually). Maybe you would like one of those more.

WinstonsGirl · July 2013

jss0302 said:

WinstonsGirl said:

We did a rock/trash the dress session the day after and I did my own hair and makeup. I just threw it back in a low ponytail since it still had the curls in it from the night before. How dirty is your dress?? If it's not too bad, you may be able to work around the dirty parts, if it's just the hem for example and you won't even notice it in the photos. You don't need your bouquet - many of my photos don't have one and DH can wear a suit. I'd suggest a different photographer, or ask a friend who is good with a camera if you know someone. And tell them specifically what you want shot wise. You could cut down on the costs that way, or even do this a 1 year anniversary celebration to give you a bit of time to save for it??

I don't think I'll suggest photoshopping you two into photos together.

Unless there is a mermaid involved, then how can you say no?

You're right. Now I suggest it.

Coghoot12 · July 2013

OP, I understand how you feel. I was very disappointed in our pictures. I felt like my photographer missed so many key moments. There is only 1 picture of us walking back down the aisle after our ceremony, and I'm looking at the ground. That was one of the happiest moments of my life and I don't even have a picture of it. There were other moments too that were missed and the overall quality of the pictures was poor.

The best advice I can give is to put the word out to friends and family that you would like to see any pictures taken. Maybe even set up a link where everyone can upload their pictures. I found some really great pictures friends took and of 4 wedding pictures in my office, 3 are non-pro pics.

I still get sad and a bit jealous when I see gorgeous wedding pics. My wedding was amazing and everything I wanted it to be but the pictures just don't do it justice. Try and remember that when you are looking at your slighlty off-centered, poorly lit pictures.

easilyunamused · July 2013

Liatris2010 said:

I think you need to give it time. I hate how I look in pictures, and when I got my wedding pictures back I was sad that I didn't turn out to be as photogenic and perfect as all the magazine brides. I'm over it, and I love our pictures, even the ones where me and my H are making our stupid picture faces. I think they will grow on you.

I feel your pain @Liaris2010, I don't think that I am photogenic at all. I am really nervous about taking photos at the wedding. When I was a BM for my besties wedding, I had *blinked* in over half of the group shots! Don't even get me started on the random unplanned photos.

OP, did you give your photographer a list a specific photos you wanted? I only ask because I don't want to be micro managing my photographer all day and night either. But I'll be upset if they photos I want don't get taken because he/she is incompetent.

walgrrl · July 2013

I gave the photographer a list only for the family photos and we did get a lot of those. In fact, I think that may be why we didn't have enough time to do the couple shots. In retrospect, I should have demanded we stay outside and take more photos and just been a little late for our grand entrance. Don't be afraid of micromanaging. It is your wedding and you need to make sure you get the photos you want. If you don't get enough photos, there's no way to go back in time and get them.

sarahdactyI · July 2013

Liatris2010 said:

I think you need to give it time. I hate how I look in pictures, and when I got my wedding pictures back I was sad that I didn't turn out to be as photogenic and perfect as all the magazine brides. I'm over it, and I love our pictures, even the ones where me and my H are making our stupid picture faces. I think they will grow on you.

I second this - this is precisely how I felt about our e-pics. They have certainly grown on me, especially now that they are almost a year old and we already look so different (and YOUNG, ha!!).

Did any of your friends or fam get pictures that you could get your hands on?

misssunshine17 · July 2013

I'm just curious, did you give the photographer a list of pictures to take? You said there's not a lot of you and your groom?

jcrmc · July 2013

I am worried about our pictures...FIs dad is a professional photog, and has offered to do our photos. I am worried that if I ask for certain things I will come across as pushy/bossy (which, yeah, I admit, I CAN be) but if I dont, I might miss out on a few things I really want. Also dont want to worry about him not paying attention to photog because he is caught up in the swing of things/ceremony etc. but am worried about him missing out on stuff too!! Ack! I cant afford a 2nd pro photog, but my mom is a wizard with her amazing camera, as is one of her close/my close friends, so she/they will probably do the girls getting ready photos while he does the boys.

I know I will have a ton of photos from people at the wedding, but the really nice ones I am a bit worried about.

As for your dilemma, I agree with PPs - go to a beauty school and get hair/makeup done, get a friend with a good camera and eye to take photos, or find someone who is learning and needs a portfolio to trade time with you - ie you get free or cheap photos and they in turn get pics for their folio.

BMoreBride6 · July 2013

jcrmc said:

I am worried about our pictures...FIs dad is a professional photog, and has offered to do our photos. I am worried that if I ask for certain things I will come across as pushy/bossy (which, yeah, I admit, I CAN be) but if I dont, I might miss out on a few things I really want. Also dont want to worry about him not paying attention to photog because he is caught up in the swing of things/ceremony etc. but am worried about him missing out on stuff too!! Ack! I cant afford a 2nd pro photog, but my mom is a wizard with her amazing camera, as is one of her close/my close friends, so she/they will probably do the girls getting ready photos while he does the boys.

I know I will have a ton of photos from people at the wedding, but the really nice ones I am a bit worried about.

As for your dilemma, I agree with PPs - go to a beauty school and get hair/makeup done, get a friend with a good camera and eye to take photos, or find someone who is learning and needs a portfolio to trade time with you - ie you get free or cheap photos and they in turn get pics for their folio.

Personally, I think this is a disaster waiting to happen. I think having family/friends act as vendors is a huge no-no, even when they offer or insist. Inevitably, either they will feel compelled to spend the night before the camera and miss out of the fun of being a guest (and a guest of honor in this situation) or they will be enjoying the evening too much to be behind the camera. I would do a simple, "we so appreciate you offering your talents for our wedding, but we would much rather you attend as our honored guest than worry about taking pictures"

hockey20 · July 2013

10 day turn around?! That's way too quick, there is no way the photog could have possibly gotten your pictures edited/retouched/whatever in ten days. I'd go back there and have a chat with them. Let them know that you have issues that, if possible, need to be fixed. Some of the problems can be fixed with editing (like maybe a picture is too dark, they need to lighten it, make it feel warmer, make that blotch of grass stain on the dress white, this is /all/ do-able, and should have been done). My engagement pictures took a month to get back from our photographer (and they look really good, she picked out really good features to highlight in them) and our contract for our wedding pictures say 12 weeks!

I also agree with itzMS, ask to see any more pictures they've taken of you and H, if there's none/they've given you all the pictures they took, than this is not a professional. I'd also make sure to let them know that you'll make sure you acquaint any of your friends and family with the degree of professionalism in which this person works and you will definitely not be recommending their services in the future.

BMoreBride6 · July 2013

StageManager14 said:

jcrmc said:

I am worried about our pictures...FIs dad is a professional photog, and has offered to do our photos. I am worried that if I ask for certain things I will come across as pushy/bossy (which, yeah, I admit, I CAN be) but if I dont, I might miss out on a few things I really want. Also dont want to worry about him not paying attention to photog because he is caught up in the swing of things/ceremony etc. but am worried about him missing out on stuff too!! Ack! I cant afford a 2nd pro photog, but my mom is a wizard with her amazing camera, as is one of her close/my close friends, so she/they will probably do the girls getting ready photos while he does the boys.

I know I will have a ton of photos from people at the wedding, but the really nice ones I am a bit worried about.

As for your dilemma, I agree with PPs - go to a beauty school and get hair/makeup done, get a friend with a good camera and eye to take photos, or find someone who is learning and needs a portfolio to trade time with you - ie you get free or cheap photos and they in turn get pics for their folio.

Personally, I think this is a disaster waiting to happen. I think having family/friends act as vendors is a huge no-no, even when they offer or insist. Inevitably, either they will feel compelled to spend the night before the camera and miss out of the fun of being a guest (and a guest of honor in this situation) or they will be enjoying the evening too much to be behind the camera. I would do a simple, "we so appreciate you offering your talents for our wedding, but we would much rather you attend as our honored guest than worry about taking pictures"
Eh, I think it depends on the person. My uncle took our photos and he had a blast because he loves doing that sort of thing. He had actually asked if we would mind him shooting everything too when we had a pro photog booked. When the photog got deployed a few months before the wedding, he immediately offered to do it and we let him. I think ASKING puts people in an awkward spot to have to say yes, but if they offer freely (and it isn't something like serving food) then it's fine to take advantage of it.

Yes, I see your point on this. I guess I just think a parents of the bride/groom would be a bit more closely involved...but you're right

XP and NER: I am disappointed with my photos

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