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Bickering

PandPMeant2BPandPMeant2B member
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in August 2013 Weddings
Hello fellow August brides! Just having an "I hope I'm not alone in this" moment, and figured I could get my answer here.

Let me preface this by saying I'm ready to RUN down the aisle to my fiance; I'm not having second thoughts at all.  But, unfortunately, we've been getting into these silly arguments lately. It seems like we're really short with each other and certain things have been getting on my nerves lately (and I'm sure he could say the same about me).  It's not like us at all; we often remind ourselves/each other to keep things in perspective and the stupid arguments never turn into anything more serious. It's not always wedding-related either. I don't WANT to be irritated by certain things, but I find that I am. Can I just chalk it up up to pre-wedding stress?

Is anyone else experiencing anything like this? 

Just taking deep breaths....
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Re: Bickering

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    Smitten2012Smitten2012 member
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    Hi!

    Awww I can totally sorta relate and i really don't think its just you alone - I think the week we were putting our invitations together / finalizing our guest list / paying off a ton of money on vendors just really brought on a lot of bickering and stress.

    For example - i was feeling down that since we had to change our routine and couldnt go out on fab dates to save money - since every penny was going into the wedding. Its a lot of stress & i think being all too much into the planning isnt all that healthy for a relationship. What really made a difference is we took a step back and did a whole weekend of "no wedding planning / wedding talk" went out to a nice dinner as a treat and really just got back to "dating" and not stressing each other out :) It was such a nice and relaxing weekend!!!

    Also - just think August is just around the corner - it is all going to come together beautifully and in a few months you're gonna look back and laugh at all the "silly wedding bickering" you guys did!

     

     

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    PandPMeant2BPandPMeant2B member
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    Smitten2012     said:

    What really made a difference is we took a step back and did a whole weekend of "no wedding planning / wedding talk" went out to a nice dinner as a treat and really just got back to "dating" and not stressing each other out :) It was such a nice and relaxing weekend!!!

    That's a great idea; I'm going to suggest that tonight! 
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    Jessica41381Jessica41381 member
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    edited July 2013
    I think the reason my fiancé and I haven't had any arguments or haven't been bickering is because we hashed out a lot of the wedding planning/info one weekend. We took a whole Sunday and went over our list of to dos, things that needed to be paid off etc. we try not to make everyday, every other conversation we have wedding related. I think it helped a lot that we finished almost everything months ago, so now we are down to simple things like rings and marriage license. I know having things paid off early is harder if your still waiting for RSVP'S but for us sending out our invites months ago gave us a chance to have our number of quests accounted for which gave use the ability to pay off the caterer, cake,reception,open bar essentials , etc. Having these things paid off relieved a lot of stress , which could be why you two are bickering.
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    Xstatic3333Xstatic3333 member
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    @Smitten212, I think my FI has been feeling the same as you, down about having to save. We've had our little fights about it too, but nothing too bad. I got a bit snippy the week I did invites. I think a little tension is natural, the key is to just remember to focus on the relationship over the wedding.
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    drummerbonbondrummerbonbon member
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    We are definitely going through the same thing right now. I'll have to suggest the weekend away from it all. 
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    rel1988rel1988 member
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    Yup!! You are not alone at all. We bicker over stupid things all the time because I'm stressed (work, my dad's health, wedding) and I get frustrated because I feel like he doesn't help enough when it comes to wedding planning. Our pre-marriage counseling sessions help but also freak me out because marriage is a HUGE deal and then I over anazlye all the stupid arguements....

    But when we do have great quality time together, I realize it is just the stress. I'm a terrible bride, I think I'm more looking to our honeymoon and vacation away at this point!

     

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    PandPMeant2BPandPMeant2B member
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    Thanks, ladies! Good to know I'm not the only one. FI is very involved in the planning (although he keeps saying it's my day and I should get what I want), so we talk about it quite a bit.  We both love to check things off our list and want to get everything done ASAP (if we could have made the seating chart before the responses came back that would have been done already!), so we're always talking about what still needs to be done. We see our friends and family a lot, so they're always asking about it. We do really like talking about it; it gets us even more excited.  But I do agree that taking a day or two and not talking about anything wedding related would help.  I've planned a date for us Friday night and can't wait! I'm just hoping it doesn't get worse as the day gets closer!
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    drummerbonbondrummerbonbon member
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    PandPMeant2B said:
    Thanks, ladies! Good to know I'm not the only one. FI is very involved in the planning (although he keeps saying it's my day and I should get what I want), so we talk about it quite a bit.  We both love to check things off our list and want to get everything done ASAP (if we could have made the seating chart before the responses came back that would have been done already!), so we're always talking about what still needs to be done. We see our friends and family a lot, so they're always asking about it. We do really like talking about it; it gets us even more excited.  But I do agree that taking a day or two and not talking about anything wedding related would help.  I've planned a date for us Friday night and can't wait! I'm just hoping it doesn't get worse as the day gets closer!
    We're partially the opposite. He is very involved in the wedding, but he also wants a huge say in everything, including stuff that probably shouldn't even matter to him. I find myself compromising on stuff I never thought I'd have to compromise on. I'm glad he's involved, but it's actually making us bicker more. 
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    PandPMeant2BPandPMeant2B member
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    drummerbonbon said:
    We're partially the opposite. He is very involved in the wedding, but he also wants a huge say in everything, including stuff that probably shouldn't even matter to him. I find myself compromising on stuff I never thought I'd have to compromise on. I'm glad he's involved, but it's actually making us bicker more. 
    Have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe he's just trying to express that he really wants to be involved, and sharing an opinion, whether it's the same as yours or not, is the best way he knows how. Perhaps if he realizes how important some things are to you, maybe he'll back down. Just a thought.  Good luck!
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