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buddysmom80 · July 2013

Dear Homeowners Insurance,

Fuck off.

No Love, a disgruntled homeowner

-----------------------------

Dear Hurricane Sandy and Winter Storm Nemo,

Fuck you too, since my homeowner's insurance went up because of you

Please no bad weather for the rest of the year.

No Love Either, me

------------------------------------

Dear BF,

Please STOP saying "we'll do whatever you want" when you made crystal clear plans on Sunday what we're doing tonight. It makes you seem like you don't give a shit about what we do. I'd like to leave the house once and a while and sit down and have dinner and not have to freaking clean up after. You said I was "frustrating" you this morning, and I bit my tongue so hard because some days I'm frustrated with you too but never tell you. Just grow some balls, make plans and stick with them. I still love you.

Love, your gf

--------------------------------

Dear trip to Europe,

Thanks for planning yourself, one less thing I have to worry about.

Love, me

--------------------------------

Dear Work,

We need to work out something so that I'm not here 11 hours a day for a week. I'm tired, I'm bitchy, I'm punchy, I'm fucking up left and right. Please work on this.

No love

-----------------------------

Dear Buddy,

Sorry I kicked you off the bed last night, you scared me in your state of shaved-ness and I got scared. Dude, you look like a freak, I can't help it, but I love you.

Your horrible fur mom

---------------------------

Dear Quigley,

Next week we're bringing you to a concert, please be good. Please be good to the kids coming over tomorrow. I can't wait to get some training done with you.

Your fur mom

------------------------

Dear NEYers,

I forgot to AW a couple of things, so here you go. The first picture is of buddy's lion cut. He looks like such a freak but he loves it! I've never seen him prance around so much. The second picture is of a craft I've been talking about on here for WEEKS I finally completed it, I loved how it came out. Also you ladies rock. I don't know what I'd do without you!

Love, Buddysmom

IrishDreamer · July 2013

Dear R,

On Sunday you said you wanted to have a convo about our future. I've tried all week to get you to talk to me. I have an idea of what you are going to say, but I'm not really a patient person..... So can we talk already??

Love,
Not patient R

Dear rest of house,

Clean yourself

No love,
Exhausted Irish

Dear ex douchetard,

Why the fuck did you email me?!? You forgive me?? Like I give a flying fuck. Stay the fuck out of my life.

No love,
Ex-fi that wants to be left alone

Dear work,

I adore you, but having to come in on Friday blows.

No love,
Employee that needs a break

CLoGreenEyes · July 2013

Dear @buddysmom,

Awesome pictures! Your poor kitty, though ^_^ He looks so mad!

Amapola

***

Dear self,

Somehow, you have to find a way to study tomorrow. Yes, there are two barbecues to go to. Yes, it is technically a day off of school. But you have been slacking on the studying a bit and need to pick it up. This next exam on Monday is gonna be hard!

Also, while you're at it, please stop eating crap. You are blessed with the ability to enjoy eating vegetables, so just EAT SOME ALREADY and stop eating cake.

And also exercise.

Really, please just learn to be perfect.

Love,

Yourself

***

Dear BF,

I had a dream last night that you couldn't sleep because you were trying to think of ways to put a ring on it. I can't decide if I want this to be prophetic or not. I mean, obviously I don't want you to be sleep-deprived, so I guess not. But the nerves were kinda cute on you.

Thank you for all you have been doing around the house so I can concentrate on school, and also for being, um, extra generous so I don't go broke over the next few months. You are the best of the best.

Love,

Your GF, who is going to make you a REAL dinner that you will LIKE tonight

***

Dear Department of the Treasury,

Wow. Five months to get my refund. I'm like SOOOOOO impressed by your expedience in this matter. NOT.

Minimal love (for FINALLY sending me MY goddamn money),

Grouchy broke woman who needed this check yesterday

Peaseblossom55 · July 2013

@buddymom80 he looks so cute shaved, he looks so small too.

Dear work,

Not in the mood today, please go by quickly and hopefully soon there will be some new opportunities for me to apply for. I really need to get out of here, Please post some awesome new jobs soon.

Tired Employee,

Dear FI,

I look forward to the transformation of the patio this weekend, can't wait to see how it all comes out. I love you.

Me

Mom,

I'm simply going dress shopping this afternoon to please you 99% sure I found my wedding dress already. So let's make this quick and painless.

Love your daughter

Dear 1pm,

Please get here already, I'm lucky to get a half day today but I don't even feel like being here.

Tired Person

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Dear @buddysmom80,

Your kitty is so cute! I love his new haircut!

Love,

Southernpeach89

Dear work,

Please let me go early today and tell me that I don't have to be here on Friday! K THx.

Sincerely,

Your employee

Dear Peachtree Roadrace,

I hope I can run you in under an hour tomorrow! That would be awesome! I'm pretty sure I can since my mile has been under 10 for a while now but I just want to push a new record for myself so I can beat it next year.

Love,

girl that loves running

Dear weather,

Please please please please don't rain tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

girl that wants to have a nice 4th

Swazzle · July 2013

Dear Buddy,

Don't listen to your mom, you do NOT look like a freak. You look like a handsome little lion.

**********

Dear H,

I'm glad you're done being a butthead. Thank you for waking me up in the middle of the night for sexytimes.

**********

Dear @BriSox81 and @laurenb09,

Rusty hoes.

**********

Dear Asshole Coworker,

Because you thought it was ok to stroll into work at 8am today, I will happily be leaving at 1pm.

KeptInStitches · July 2013

Dear @buddysmom80,

You do know Buddy is plotting deep elaborate revenge, right? Get as many of those photos as you can ...

---

Dear work,

Woo for two days off!

Love,

Employee

---

Dear NEY,

Thanks for all the recipe suggestions yesterday! We took the inspiration from the four-bean salad and planned one my family will eat (no onion, no pepper). I'll share the recipe if it's good.

Love,

Stitches

---

Dear BF,

I'm glad we could sort out that problem last night. That conversation was awkward, but it helped that you decided to talk this time. I still think we need some counseling to learn how to communicate better because it frustrates me when you clam up and won't say anything for 15 minutes at a stretch when I want to resolve an issue.

Love,

Me

---

Dear Netflix,

Can you wreak havoc on my queue a little less? You know, not pulling 6 things at once and giving me 1 week to handle them would be AWESOME. Though you did force me to watch the first episode of Downton Abbey which I will now have to borrow from my uncle or check out from the library.

No love,

Subscriber

Blue & White · July 2013

Dear face,

I know I've been neglecting you by not taking my meds, but please like the new meds because you're looking like a lobster and that's dumb.

No love,
Body

Dear FI,

Can you please read over the officiant's normal ceremony so we can decide that we like her? I don't want her to snatched up!

Love,
FI

Dear s'mores,

I really want you. Remind me to buy marshmallows and chocolate. I promise I won't regret it.

Love,
I'm craving sweets like a mad person

Dear potluck people,

I REALLY CARE ABOUT FOOD SAFETY. Please do the same. I'm not eating any of your food if your food safety practices are suspect.

-I just got over a stomach bug and am ubersensitive to stomach issues

Peaseblossom55 · July 2013

@blue&white oh smores sound so good right now!!!

cu97tiger · July 2013

Dear vet,

Please please please let Toby's labs come back ok. I cannot and I mean CANNOT handle anything being wrong with him. He is the sweetest dog ever, even you said so, and I just want to snuggle with him forever.

Love,

concerned pet mama

=====

Dear DH,

I HATE being home alone at night. Two more nights until you're back.

Love,

sleep-deprived wife

=====

Dear Arizona,

I

you and miss you.

Love,

me

[Deleted User] · July 2013

dear cu97tiger,

sending lots of T&Ps from Bella and Baxter to Toby.

love,
Coco, Bella, and Baxter

KeptInStitches · July 2013

Dear cu97tiger,

Good vibes from Eleanor for Toby.

Love,

Ellie-belle and Stitches

GoldenPenguin · July 2013

Dear Buddy,

You listen to Auntie Swazzle. You are a handsome lion. Prance on you fabulous feline!

Love,

Auntie BriSox

************

Dear @Swazzle & @laurenb09,

I was walking down the street alone earlier, and thought about "rusty hoes" and started laughing. Now I'm the crazy lady who walks down the street laughing to herself.

Thanks, bitches.

Love,

Me

****************

Dear Brady,

If you don't shut the fuck up, I'm going to reach down your throat and remove your voicebox with my bare hands. ENOUGH ALREADY.

Gosh,

Mom

**************

BF,

Don't be surprised if the next time I drink wine, I bring up a timeline talk. I was THISCLOSE last night. I'm not in a rush, by any means, but, since we've semi-talked about it, now I want to know where your head is at. Just not sober. Sorry.

I LOVE YOU!

GF

motoLyn · July 2013

Dear buddy,

You are one fine looking kitty, keep on with your shaved self.

Love,
West Coast fan

Dear Tiger,

Big thoughts and positive vibes for Toby, we all hope that everything turns out fine. Also the west coast misses your sass.

Love,
Moto, Maus and Brutus

Dear Pseudo Friday,

OMGEEE you're finally here. I can't wait to kick start my holiday weekend! PARTY!

Love,
Thank god for the long weekend

Dear Swazzle,

Thank YOU for the ST Buffalo Burger recipe, it was so good I ate two burgers!

Love,
Feeling the guilt but so worth it

Belle2188 · July 2013

Dear Boss,

You're awesome, but ughhhhh really about Friday? If I don't go anywhere it would be great if I could come in from 9-11? I don't plan to leave town, but I plan to be hungover from 9-11. Should I lie and say I decided to stay in the city? Please just let me not come in. No one else will be here--not even you.

Sincerely,

Your Employee

__________________

Dear FI,

Stop saying things you know will make me mad because you're bored. I know you enjoy it when I yell, but I don't enjoy yelling...at all! Also, I had a horrible dream last night that we were "on a break." It was no bueno and I was really glad it wasn't true when I woke up!

Love,

FI

__________________

Mom,

I'm asking nicely. PLEASE go and see some venues as soon as possible. Dates are booking up, and I know this factually, and I really don't want to get forced into a place or day because nothing else is left.

Pleaseeee,

Your Only Daughter

__________________

Dear Intern,

Please don't be an idiot. I don't want to spend 5 hours training an idiot today.

Thanks,

Employee that will be training you

radleyboo · July 2013

@Buddysmom80-I had to do that to a cat years ago, he was so mad he actually peed on my lap on the way home from the groomer. Hopefully your Buddy isn't as upset!

@Southernpeach89-Good luck on your race, 10k? You can rock that in under an hour if an old lady like me can!

@PeaseBlossom55-will you post a photo of your dress once you've made the decision?

Dear H-

I'm so sorry that your project at work is stressing you out and that your dad is a complete and utter douchebag. The stress will pass at work, but I think it's time we establish some real and clear boundaries with dear ole dad. He does nothing but upset you every time he contacts you and I'm NOT ok with that. I'll support you no matter what, but give it some thought.

xx,

Your Wife

Dear Work,

I don't wanna go to Pittsburgh next week. At all. But I will because there will be paintball.

Sincerely,

Me

Dear exH,

We're not married anymore and haven't been for 4 years. I know you're never going to grow up, so you can fuck off instead. Try to pick up some of the slack when it comes to the children, and that includes financially. Thanks.

Sincerely,

Your EX Wife

Dear Friends,

Thanks for letting H come to your club tomorrow to sit by the pool and relax, we love spending time with you guys!

Love,

Us

IrishDreamer · July 2013

Dear work,
I'm done for today and its only 12:08. Please do yourself. I am ready for a day off.

No love,
Chica that can't focus today

Dear @swazzle
I love that your most used word is fuck. Mine is too. I love it lol.

Love,
Irish chick that uses bad words a lot.

Dear glass,
Why you no have sweet tea??? How am I supposed to survive today?

Love,
Sweet tea a holic

Peaseblossom55 · July 2013

@radleyboo yes once I have chosen my dress I will post pics.

bethsmiles · July 2013

Dear BF's Friend,

Why are you pre-planning a wedding that 1) you cannot afford 2) is to a man you haven't known very long and oh yeah who is not even divorced yet?! What the hell are you thinking? I know you're excited and all (and hey at least this one isn't a drug addict or super huge jackass like the others) but just slow your roll. It's not a race and with your track record in relationships I think slow and steady might work best here.

cu97tiger · July 2013

Thanks @cocobellaf and @keptinstitches and @motolyn! I should know more early next week. In the meantime, lots of snuggles for Toby

Stina51286 · July 2013

Dear FI,

We're in double digits! Cant wait to call you my H in three months!

Love,

Me

Dear House,

Finish your remodel yourself. My allergies cannot handle any more dust.

I feel horrible.

Dear NEY ladies,

I've been MIA a lot and I don't like it. Work has been getting in the way.

Miss you all!

Vintagelove4 · July 2013

@buddysmom80 Buddy is so adorable!! Love his hair cut!
____

Dear companies we've applied for,

Please, please, please call us back. Sitting at home is driving both of us crazy.

Love,
Hopefully your future employees

_______________

Dear FI,

Good luck with your interview!!

Love,
nervous ginger
_______________

Dear me,

Now that you have the time on you hands, you should really do a thorough cleaning of this place.

Sincerely,
me

_________
Dear close friend,

I'm so freaking happy for you two!! I've been waiting for you two to get engaged for the last four months (since he asked FI for pointers)! We will have to celebrate when we are up in SD!!

Love,
FI and I

suzie211 · July 2013

Dear FI,

I love you. I do not love your whining when you're sick. It's a cold, and not the end of the world. I promise to keep bringing you cold medicine and chicken soup, but please dial it back a notch on the whine.

Love,
Haz no cheese to go with

Dear sister,

Love that you are back in town for a week, but my life does not revolve around your schedule. Mama has a life, and cannot just show up whenever you beck and call.

Love,

Your sister with vacation plans

Dear bank account,

Get bigger please! Its sad to see you so small lately. Paying for a wedding sucks and I would like to see you fat again.

Sincerely,

Bride who wants to go shopping with a fat wallet

suzie211 · July 2013

@cutiger97 Sending good thoughts Toby's way!

@peaseblossom55 I hope to see dress pics soon!

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