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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Settle An Argument For Me...

Okay, it's not related to my wedding; but my fiance is the best man in our friend's wedding at the end of the month. I can't attend because I'm taking the bar exam the same weekend, so I told him just to buy whatever he thought they'd like or pick something from their registry and sign my name on it too and I'd pay for half. Instead, I find out he's decided to just give them cash. I say it's a tacky idea- it's his best friend and they're a  couple we've known for quite awhile. I think he should take the time and think about buying them something they would really appreciate or like; he says since we're planning our own wedding we know how expensive it is, and they could put the money towards the honeymoon. He wasn't planning on giving them a large sum of money, so to me that just sounds silly and like he's trying to avoid having to go shopping.

What's everyone else's verdict?

Re: Settle An Argument For Me...

  • I don't see a problem with cash. I think people always appreciate cash. If you would like to give them something different, then you pick it out.
  • One of my husband's best friends gave us cash. It was what we truly wished everyone would have given us, so thumbs up from us. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • 95% of my guests gave me cash, so are all my guests tacky?  No.  It's just what is most common in our area.  There is nothing wrong with cash.
  • Its not tacky to give cash...you might be reading more into this than necessary. Cash = universal. Who cares if its also easy?
  • Cash has and always will be king... : )

  • Cash was just fine with us!  Saves him a shopping trip, too.  :)
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    Meddied since 6/15/13!
  • I don't think cash is tacky (and it's definitely appreciated!), although I, like you, would probably rather give a present based on that relationship.

    We went to France and Spain for our honeymoon, and my husband's best man gave us euros. It was a fun twist on receiving cash, and it was truly appreciated.

    Still, I'm sure that the couple will be grateful for any present you give them, but, hopefully, most of all the friendship.
  • I agree that It's an impersonal gift, but it's his friend, so it's really his choice. In the end, at least you know this friend will appreciate the gift because, seriously, who doesn't appreciate getting cash lol?
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  • Settled: his friend, he wins, there's nothing wrong with giving cash.
  • Cash is always appreciated!

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  • MrsH86MrsH86 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    I personally LOVE cash... but if you want to add a personal touch, you could make them a really great card or write them a really sweet personal note in the card? 
    ~Happy Wife.... Happy Life~
  • Cash is the best gift.
  • Um, I don't know anyone who doesn't love the green stuff.  Giving cash is not tacky at all even when it is for a couple that you know well.  I also do not think that it is an impersonal gift.  Everyone loves a little extra money in their pocket.  Just write a nice note in the card and leave it at that.

  • OP, you say that you and your fiancé have been invited to the wedding. As an engaged couple, you are, essentially, a social unit. You get invited places together as a couple.

    In this case, you have a prior commitment and cannot attend. However, the gift would come from both of you, just as if you did not have the other commitment and were to attend with your fiancé.

    You don't like the idea of your fiancé giving cash? (Cash is perfectly OK, BTW.)

    Shop for something you think they'd like, wrap it up and put both names on the card.

     

  • LiLe422 said:
    Cash is tacky?? That's a first.
    Only when it has the word "bar" behind it.

    But yes, OP, as the phrase goes, "cash is King!"
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • Our best friends gave us cash and a card with a heartfelt message for our wedding, and I was very happy with it. You won't hear any complaints about cash from me.
  • RamonaFlowersRamonaFlowers member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited July 2013
    Where I'm from, boxed gifts are given at the shower, monetary gifts are given at the wedding. It honestly never occurred to me that people brought anything besides envelopes to give at the actual wedding before I started posting on TK. Also, who's really going to say "Oh, they gave me money? What's wrong with that person?"

    So to me, giving money at a wedding gift is never "tacky"

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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  • Cash is fine by me!

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  • I just noticed that your FI is the Best Man in this wedding. Being in most weddings nowadays is pretty expensive ... so not only is it okay to give cash in general, but the fact that you're FI is still trying to make an effort to give a gift at all while accepting the financial responsibility of being a member of the WP is pretty impressive.

    He's the Best Man and you're not even attending the wedding. I mean this in the most non-offensive way possible, but you seriously need to just shut up and let him give what he feels he can give as a gift at this point.

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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  • I definitely prefer to give cash. In the past I have given box gifts, usually to family or close friends whose shower I missed. I did give one friend a hotel stay for their wedding night and stocked the room with flavored lube and wine.
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
  • In my family its always gifts from the registry for showers and checks/cash at the wedding. Thats just the way we have always been and everyone loves it :)
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  • edited July 2013
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