Hey guys,
I don't know if this is really etiquette related or not but I admire your insight and honestly so I'm going to throw this out there. I got engaged last November not long after my grandmother passed away. My mom had a ring that was her mother's (my grandmother who passed away), that she wore for a long time as her engagement ring until my dad bought her a new ring as a 20th anniversary gift that she has worn ever since. Long story short, it was her hope that that ring would become mine. My FI knew about this diamond, but when he seriously started planning out proposing and talking to my parents, my grandmother had recently become very very ill and we knew she was dying. He felt very uncomfortable asking for the ring at that time (didn't want to come off as, "I know your mother is dying, but hey can I have her jewelry?"). It would not have been taken that way but he is very mindful of that sort of thing and didn't want to in any way upset my mom, so instead he got a different ring. In November he proposed with the new ring, which is absolutely beautiful and I love. A couple of months ago, my mom suggested me taking her mother's ring and having it reset somehow so I could have a part of her with me throughout the whole wedding journey, as she really would have loved to be here. We ended up getting it reset as a right hand ring, but my mom and I went to pick it up today and I got very emotional. It is something that both my grandmother and mother wore as an engagement ring and it just hit me hard how much I miss her and how much I wish she could be there at my wedding this year. I went home and as I was talking to FI about it and missing her, he got down and reproposed with my grandmother's ring, explained about really wanting me to have it but not wanting to take it from my mom, etc. It was very very very sweet and selfless of him and he wants me to wear this on my left hand and wear the other ring he gave me on my right hand. My mom was very touched by this, as am I. I know it will mean a lot to my grandfather as well.
Now here's the thing...people are obviously going to notice the new ring and notice my other ring on my right hand. If people ask, what do I say? My grandmother's ring is larger than the original engagement ring and I don't want people to think the original one "wasn't good enough" for me because that's not the case...the other ring was perfect in every way. Honestly, even if my grandmother's ring has been a diamond chip set in a ring, it would mean the same to me. I get that sometimes you just have to let it go and let people think what they want, but in you opinion, if people ask, what do I say?
Sorry for the long post! Thank you all!