Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Moms and Maids
Moms and Maids
New Discussion
Options

Can I ask her to be a bridesmaid?

ccgirl0521ccgirl0521 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Approx 2 years ago I was asked to be a bridesmaid in my friends wedding. I said yes with hesitation but not because I didn't want to be there for her, but because of the money I would have to spend to be in it (the cost of the dress alone was enough to send me into hyperventilation fits at any time). About a month after me saying yes, I talked to her and explained why I would have to back out and she understood, but of course was hurt. I was still totally involved in her process, helping her choose invites, look at venues, help her with spats with her bridesmaids, and of course attended all her parties before the wedding. Well now it's my turn to get married, and I want to ask her to be a bridesmaid but I feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world doing so. I've chickened out on more than 1 occasion to ask her, but I can't imagine not having her there with me on the big day. What should I do and how should I approach this? I'm really having some conflict with this one.  TYIA.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Can I ask her to be a bridesmaid?

  • Options
    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    There is no reason you can't ask her to be in your wedding just because you had to back out of her's due to financial reasons. You would only be a hypocrite if you asked and she said she couldn't afford it and you threw a fit.

    You are over thinking this.


    Report Reply
  • Options
    ccgirl0521ccgirl0521 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thank you for replying!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    BMoreBride6BMoreBride6 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    No you're not a hypocrite.  I would just say something like, "Friend, I know I had to back down from being a bridesmaid because of financial issues but it meant so much to be to be honored and be involved in your wedding planning and big day.  It would mean so much to be if you would be a bridesmaid in my wedding but if you'd rather attend as a guest I would still be honored" and go from there.  Just make sure you are extra mindful of your girls' financial situations and what they are willing and able to spend.  
    Report Reply
  • Options
    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    BMoreBride6 said:
    No you're not a hypocrite.  I would just say something like, "Friend, I know I had to back down from being a bridesmaid because of financial issues but it meant so much to be to be honored and be involved in your wedding planning and big day.  It would mean so much to be if you would be a bridesmaid in my wedding but if you'd rather attend as a guest I would still be honored" and go from there.  Just make sure you are extra mindful of your girls' financial situations and what they are willing and able to spend.  
    The bolded part is completely unnecessary. Just ask her the same way you asked your other BMs, you don't need to bring up that you had to drop out of her wedding.

    And I think ordinary mindfulness of her friends financials is all that is necessary. Just ask them their budgets individually before picking a dress and don't expect any pre-wedding parties.


    Report Reply
  • Options
    ccgirl0521ccgirl0521 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Good idea, thank you! I like the part of being honored even if she was attending as a guest. Thanks again!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards