Fiance At Wedding Shower

Re: Fiance At Wedding Shower

• Jen4948 member

  

  July 2013

  I don't know that it's customary, but I did attend a shower where the groom did stop by at the end.  He helped carry all the gifts to their car, which I thought was nice. 
  
  I guess it really depends on the groom and the others at the shower.  Some may see the shower as a strictly "girls'" event and consider the groom not welcome, others may feel differently. 
  
  If one comes from a background or tradition where the groom does not attend showers and is at a shower where the groom shows up, I do think one has to accept that politely.
  

  Report0 Reply
• manateehugger member

  

  July 2013

  I think this is a social circle thing. Some people are used to couples showers, some are men-free, etc. 

  
  

  In my circle, it is common for the groom to show up during the last 10 minutes or so to say thanks and help load up the gifts. 

  

  Report1 Reply
• amalama member

  

  July 2013

  My fiance works weekends so he will not be doing this, but I think (it was 7 years ago so I am not positive) he did stop by at the end of my baby shower. I don't really think it's a great opportunity for him to meet a bunch of people (either he would have to come in the middle and probably wouldn't enjoy that, or people would be getting ready to leave). But I wouldn't think it was weird if he stopped by to say and thanks, and help take the gifts home.

  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• RunnerBride2013 member

  

  July 2013

  Great - thanks for all the insights. My FI is somewhat shy and would prefer to not have lots of attention on him. I thought it would be a nice gesture since people are coming out to celebrate and give us gifts; but it sounds like while it can be a nice touch, its not expected at all or the norm. Thanks!

  Report0 Reply
• Simply Fated member

  

  July 2013

  It's expected in my circle for the fiance to show up toward the end to say hi to the guests, help collect the gifts into his car, and most of the time they also take the bride home lol.

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• misssunshine17 member

  

  July 2013

  I think it's okay to stop by, but if it's an all women event, in my circle, it's weird if the groom sits and hangs out the whole time. 

  Report1 Reply
• Peaseblossom55 mod

  

  July 2013

  I think it's ok to stop by and hang out.  Most come towards the end to say hello and to help pack up the gifts.

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• tiny speck member

  

  July 2013

  Definitely ok for him to stop by towards the end, even if it's an all ladies shower. He's going to use most of the household gifts too, right? So I think it would be nice for him to stop in and say hi and thanks.
  

  Report1 Reply
• Xstatic3333 member

  

  July 2013

  My FI drove me to the shower (my hosts served alcohol and he wanted me to be able to have some) and then came back at the end to thank the hosts. Unfortunately by the time he got there most guests had left, but I still think it was a nice gesture for him to stop by. My circle doesn't have a norm yet-my own showers were the second and third I've ever been to!

  Report0 Reply
• carpediem27 member

  

  July 2013

  My DH brought his mom to the shower, dropped her off, then ran a couple of errands, then returned in time to have a bite to eat and help me open gifts. It was nice to have him there, since the gifts were for both of us and he got to meet some of my family for the first time. He then helped us load everything into the cars.

  
  
  

  Report1 Reply
• meggiemo member

  

  July 2013

  My mom hosted one of our showers and invited several of the guys in my family that my fiance was close to. The women stayed upstairs and chatted and did the whole shower thing, the guys ate wings and played cards in the basement. He floated between the two parties, choosing mostly to stay with the guys, but it was really nice to have him there to say thank you for the gifts, as they are obviously for him too, and to meet some of the friends and family he hadn't met yet. The whole set-up was well-received in our circle!

  Report0 Reply
• snoopycac member

  

  July 2013

  We had a couple's baby shower, so however we haven't begun planning our shower, I am sure my fiance will stop by and say hi if not stay for the whole thing. But he is very social and loves being able to talk to everyone and thank them personally.
  

  Report0 Reply
• LavenderHoneyBee member

  

  July 2013

  I would kind of find it rude for an FI to not at least stop by and say hello and thank you. However, that's just whats done in my circle. I find it a nice gesture since the gifts are for both of you. 

  Report0 Reply
• Kristin789 member

  

  July 2013

  The typical etiquette/custom is that the bride's family hosts an engagement party to introduce the groom-to-be to the bride's extended family.  If there's no engagement party, then they host some kind of cook-out or something.  It's really rare to get close enough to the wedding (within 6 weeks) and time for the shower, and have some people who have no yet met the groom. 

  The shower is a time for women to share women's issues regarding being married.  I've seen knot posts about the groom-to-be showing up at the end to pack the car, but that seems like you are expecting such a haul that you need extra help packing the stuff into the car.  I've never heard of the groom showing up at the end of the shower in real life.

  Report0 Reply
• tiny speck member

  

  July 2013

  Kristin789 said:

  The typical etiquette/custom is that the bride's family hosts an engagement party to introduce the groom-to-be to the bride's extended family.  If there's no engagement party, then they host some kind of cook-out or something.  It's really rare to get close enough to the wedding (within 6 weeks) and time for the shower, and have some people who have no yet met the groom. 

  The shower is a time for women to share women's issues regarding being married.  I've seen knot posts about the groom-to-be showing up at the end to pack the car, but that seems like you are expecting such a haul that you need extra help packing the stuff into the car.  I've never heard of the groom showing up at the end of the shower in real life.

  I think most of us haven't heard of or experienced most of what you wrote in real life either. Women's issues regarding being married? Really?
  

  Report0 Reply
• schellzinator member

  

  July 2013

  My sister's FI (now husband) golfed with a couple of his buddies and my dad while my sister's bridal shower was taking place at the golf club. So needless to say - he was there to help pack up gifts.

  
  

  My FI - I doubt he plans on stopping by...he might not even be in the same town as I am when it is taking place. I am A OK with this

  
  

  I guess it just depends on the FI and your social circle.

  

  Report0 Reply
• Xstatic3333 member

  

  July 2013

  Kristin789 said:

  The typical etiquette/custom is that the bride's family hosts an engagement party to introduce the groom-to-be to the bride's extended family.  If there's no engagement party, then they host some kind of cook-out or something.  It's really rare to get close enough to the wedding (within 6 weeks) and time for the shower, and have some people who have no yet met the groom. 

  The shower is a time for women to share women's issues regarding being married.  I've seen knot posts about the groom-to-be showing up at the end to pack the car, but that seems like you are expecting such a haul that you need extra help packing the stuff into the car.  I've never heard of the groom showing up at the end of the shower in real life.

  I don't think the groom stopping by to say hi and thank you implies gift-grabbiness. It's a shower, there's going to be gifts, and if FI is there of course he will help with them! I had less than 20 people at my shower and it still filled our car. I'd assume brides with 60+ person showers like we hear about on TK sometimes have a couple of car loads.
  
  

  Report1 Reply