Good morning everyone!
My FI works with 3 other Pastors. Most often the lead Pastor P officiates weddings unless he is out of town ( he's missed one wedding in a year). My FI & I would love Pastor M to officiate. We are both closer to him, personally & professionally. Actually, FI considered asking Pastor M to be his best man but he/we would rather him officiate because he is "safer." Although lead Pastor P is a lovely man, he very often says things that are dreadful and inappropriate (at times) often blaming his self pro-claimed "Sanguine" personality.
Just to give you an idea...after our last Christmas dinner theater he was suppose to do a closing prayer & thank the guests (300+) for attending. He ended up doing a 20 minute "sermon" on the "fast" approaching end of times (12/22) and said a majority of people in attendance were damned, going to hell if they didnt know Jesus. Very inappropriate in lots of ways. He knew it and asked for the opportunity to redeem himself at the following nights show. He did do better but it was a new audience.
Recently, he suddenly stopped mid sermon and pointed to a life size wooden cross that is on the stage when he told everyone, "the man that built that shot himself in the head, killing himself. I wonder where he is now?" He then picked up his "Jesus is a hero" sermon. Many of us were mortified. I personally couldn't wrap my mind on the rest of his sermon.
I will say that he does officiate much better then the other 2 Pastors but we really dont want to risk it. He is also a very competitive man. When we got engaged he was obsessed with "finding out" if Pastor M knew about it before he did (he didn't) and spent a week pressing it hard and still brings it up once in a while.
Any suggestions on handling this delicate matter? Do you think we should just ask who we feel more comfortable with (Pastor M) and address it with lead Pastor P? Explain that we are closer with Pastor M (which could hit his competitive bone) or not address him at all? If we don't, I feel like there will be a large elephant in the room for a very long time. I don't think it would be wise to be completely honest with him about his "sanquine" mouth. Do you? Btw...Pastor G (3rd Pastor) couldnt care less and strongly dislikes officiating (out of his comfort zone).
Oh, last wedding he stood up there and spoke about the bride's previous drug use and her "obvious lack of virginity!" She was 19 and pregnant with her 2nd child. Fail!
