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Attire & Accessories Forum

Is this dress TOO formal for a city hall ceremony?

I am having some anxiety over whether or not to buy this dress. We are planning to get married in October 2014 in a city hall ceremony. When I was doing my research I read everywhere that you cannot have that big wedding dress you've dreamed of all your life. I accepted this and began looking for alternatives. I recently purchased a lace summer dress from the mall that dropped 4 inches above my knees. 

After trying it on over and over again over the past month I've begun to feel that it is just too short and feel defeated because I can't imagine finding a beautiful white dress that makes me feel like a bride. I was browsing on eBay today hoping to find some nice short white dress (looking for something 1950's inspired) when I fell upon this formal dress here. 


It is the perfect size and perfect price but that little person in my head is telling me that I will make a fool of myself if I show up in a long white dress... but I also feel that all of my wedding photos (going to a studio afterwards) aren't going to have a wedding feel to it with a shorter dress.

It would help to mention that I also suffer from a social anxiety disorder so it is killing me to try and make this decision as there is the potential I am going to be overdressed for the ceremony. I am also thinking perhaps it would be better if I could bring it to a seamstress and have it hemmed to be slightly between my knees and ankles. 

Any feedback on this matter would be very much appreciated!
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Re: Is this dress TOO formal for a city hall ceremony?

  • Thanks for your reply. In my small town I've seen people go to city hall for weddings. Only once did I notice people dressed up, the guy had a pure white suit on but the girl had on a white dress that looked more like a prom dress. But I mainly have noticed people showing up in jeans or a skirt in anything but white.

    It is strange, when I post anywhere about having a city hall wedding people harass me by saying I can't have my white gown, wedding cake, or anything that is traditionally wedding associated. I had also posted this somewhere else and someone told me that only "white trash women" wear a gown to city hall to get married... 

    I am sure no one will point and think less of me for wearing a nice dress but it is negative peoples opinions that cause anxiety over what I should do.
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  • Thanks for your reply. In my small town I've seen people go to city hall for weddings. Only once did I notice people dressed up, the guy had a pure white suit on but the girl had on a white dress that looked more like a prom dress. But I mainly have noticed people showing up in jeans or a skirt in anything but white.

    It is strange, when I post anywhere about having a city hall wedding people harass me by saying I can't have my white gown, wedding cake, or anything that is traditionally wedding associated. I had also posted this somewhere else and someone told me that only "white trash women" wear a gown to city hall to get married... 

    I am sure no one will point and think less of me for wearing a nice dress but it is negative peoples opinions that cause anxiety over what I should do.
    I'm so sorry that people are telling you this! There are some mean people in the world who think for some reason that a court house wedding isn't a "real wedding." They're the ones who are wrong. I completely agree with @Liatris2010. You can wear whatever you want!
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  • I agree with the other ladies! My grandma wore an orange suit when she got married! It's about you and your fiancé being happy! :)
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    When I previously worked in the court system I saw people showing up for weddings in anywhere from flannel to full ball gowns.  The only thing I would refrain from wearing is a long train unless it's bustled...  It sounds like you ultimately want something tea length...Davids Bridal has a few options like that. Have you looked?
  • mlg78 said:
    When I previously worked in the court system I saw people showing up for weddings in anywhere from flannel to full ball gowns.  The only thing I would refrain from wearing is a long train unless it's bustled...  It sounds like you ultimately want something tea length...Davids Bridal has a few options like that. Have you looked?
    I have been looking at Davids Bridal but considering the prices, plus shipping...to Canada... then alterations and then factoring in the fact I may hate it when it arrives I am nervous about it.

    That is why I am aiming for an eBay dress for under $100 so that if I don't like it there isn't as great of a loss than if I went with one from David's Bridal. I've made a few calls and found out that it would be relatively easy for a seamstress to shorten the dress up closer to my knees for me.

    Also, the dress is probably the only thing I'll be wearing with the exception of some pearls. I am considering one of those veils that stick out sort of like a cage if I feel it would work with the dress.
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  • Where in the world are you running into people that hateful?  No wait, I can guess.... there are boards out there that don't believe city hall weddings have equal value to a pretty princess day.

    They're stupid and wrong.  Don't listen to them.

    Wear whatever makes you happy.  That dress is beautiful.  Make sure you have someone take pictures for you!
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

  • Where in the world are you running into people that hateful?  No wait, I can guess.... there are boards out there that don't believe city hall weddings have equal value to a pretty princess day.

    They're stupid and wrong.  Don't listen to them.

    Wear whatever makes you happy.  That dress is beautiful.  Make sure you have someone take pictures for you!
    To some it seems that if it isn't a big event where everyone gets to sit in a nice church and given a full meal afterwards then it is not a wedding and I get nothing out of the experience. This feedback didn't even fully come from online, I got some backlash from friends and family I mentioned it to thinking they'd be happy about it all.

    Based on the positive feedback I have received I am much more confident that it is the right thing to do and I'm blocking out what others think when they're just being negative.

    I certainly will have plenty of pictures of that dress. Part of the reason I now really want the dress is because we are having professional pictures taken at the studio and I'd prefer to wear a gown instead of some cheap dress.
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  • I was just at city hall to get my marriage license and there were TONS of brides in full length white gowns and bouquets. They all looked beautiful and happy, as did those who chose something else.
  • Harry87 said:
    Have you considered consignment shops or a seamstress? As long as You don't want a lot of fancy work, you might be able to get a great dress for very little. A strapless tea-length white dress is pretty simple to make.
    I have looked into all local options, but since I live in a small community that is a 6 hour drive from the next biggest city I have very few options. I've been thinking if I do go ahead and purchase this dress that I'll just get a seamstress to chop it off up closer to me knees to get the perfect dress.
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  • I think the dress is lovely and you should wear it if you want. 
  • I have seen way "fancier" dresses at courthouse weddings!  I would definitely have rocked a wedding dress at a courthouse wedding. Ignore the people who are being ugly with their comments about not getting to have "wedding" stuff. It IS a wedding, for Pete's sake!  Like John Snow, they know nothing!


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • People are dumb and mean. A courthouse wedding is every bit as much a wedding as William and Kate's was.

    I think your dress is lovely. You're a bride therefore you get to look like a bride.
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  • I love it.

     
  • kipnuskipnus member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I don't think the bride can ever be overdressed. 
  • SBminiSBmini member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Just offering another side to this. I personally would feel uncomfortable if I was in a long wedding dress surrounded by people in jeans and t-shirts. I would feel more comfortable in a tea-length dress or something less formal. Personal preference. 
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  • SBmini said:
    Just offering another side to this. I personally would feel uncomfortable if I was in a long wedding dress surrounded by people in jeans and t-shirts. I would feel more comfortable in a tea-length dress or something less formal. Personal preference. 
    What if guests show up in jeans? What if you walk down the street to take pictures and people are in jeans? 

    It's silly to think that a bride should feel silly for being "overdressed" when compared to others. She's a bride for pete's sake!
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  • SBminiSBmini member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    PDKH said:
    SBmini said:
    Just offering another side to this. I personally would feel uncomfortable if I was in a long wedding dress surrounded by people in jeans and t-shirts. I would feel more comfortable in a tea-length dress or something less formal. Personal preference. 
    What if guests show up in jeans? What if you walk down the street to take pictures and people are in jeans? 

    It's silly to think that a bride should feel silly for being "overdressed" when compared to others. She's a bride for pete's sake!
    She's a bride among a dozen other brides who will be dressed a lot less formally in the same space. I would feel over dressed. 
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  • I'd like to thank everyone for their feedback. I wish I could figure out email notifications so I wouldn't miss new posts.

    Well the dress has arrived and it just feels like the most amazing dress ever. I love how the bottom moves as I walk and I can't imagine hemming it anymore. I tried holding it up to see how it'd look on me as more of a tea length... it takes so much away from the dress. So for now the dress is likely going to stay as is unless I get a sudden urge to hem it. 

    SBmini: That is partially what I was thinking. I feared the embarrassment of showing up and just feeling awkward in this nice dress when no one else is even close to dressed up. I've decided that I am only going to have one wedding day so I might as well make a fool of myself for this dress. Also, I live in a very small town so I may not even encounter another bride that afternoon, it is more of the fact concerning the staff (our city hall has a more formal attire).
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  • Yay! I'm so glad you love it! If you're comfortable with it, you should post a picture of yourself in it so we can properly ohh and ahh over you (I blurred out my face when I posted mine)
    Don't worry about what other people think of your attire - they can worry about themselves. You are a bride; there is absolutely no reason that you shouldn't look like the bride you are. 
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  • Here is a quick snap of myself wearing the dress. It is a smudge too tight but is still perfect in my eyes.
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  • aekcaekc member
    10 Comments
    Love it!!  Congrats on finding "the one!"  And it's absolutely not "too much" for the courthouse.
  • SBminiSBmini member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Congrats on your dress! It looks beautiful. 
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  • I definitely agree that you should wear what makes you happy. It won't look weird..it will look like you are getting married! I wouldn't think twice about wearing a big princess dress to a city hall wedding if that was what I was planning. 
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  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I imagine people wear all kinds of things when they get married there, ranging from jeans to traditional wedding gowns.  
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  • I love the dress you chose, it looks great and will be perfect for a city hall wedding.  congrats!
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