Bridesmaid Dress Shopping

yellowdaisies84 · July 2013

Hello all,

I'm a bridesmaid and I just got a facebook message from bride with pretty photos of one of the bridesmaids trying on three different dresses. There is no message attached, I guess that the bride just wants us to see the options. At a later date this summer bride wants to take me and other bridesmaids to David's Bridal so we get a chance to try on the dresses as well and maybe some others.

I am not super picky about what we wear for her wedding. I'm her brother's fiancee and the other girls are her good friends, so I want to be flexible and if they all like something then I can just go with the flow. However, I was surprised to see that one of the dresses is REALLY bad (obviously that's just my opinion) and I really didn't like it. It's a really weird pouffy ruffly dress with a very bubbly shape and a huge bow over the shoulder. The other two dresses are both 'normal' (again, in my opinion) and while I don't love either of them, they're okay overall. Should I say anything on FB in response to the photos? Or should I just keep my opinion to myself for now and I can try them on with Bride and let her know what I like/don't like on me at that time? If anyone could help me out with what to say or if I shouldn't say anything yet at this point I'd really appreciate it. Even if I shouldn't say anything negative about the dresses, should I say something nice or positive then in response to the photos or should I just not respond?

http://catalog.davidsbridal.ca/whitebyverawang/WebProject.asp?CodeId=7.6.10.12# PAGE 39

Both of the above dresses are in the runnings. It's the one on the right that I don't like.

annathy03 · July 2013

I would respond "How exciting to see some on! X and Z are nice, I can't wait to try some on with you this summer." I wouldn't mention the dress you dislike, and when you try things on you can feel out what she likes and offer options if you feel it's appropriate- it's always easier to read someone in person than through email/FB.

jessyk1065 · July 2013

I completely agree with PPs. Instead of focusing on the one you don't like, you could comment on the photo and list reasons why you like the others. That way the focus is on the positive rather than the negative.

courtneythesquid · July 2013

If you're all going to look at dresses together down the road, there I no need to nix dress #3 up front. If the bride specifically asks you for your early thoughts, I would say that I love #1 and 2, and am less keen on #3. A good way to phrase it might be that you are not sure if #3 would be as flattering on you (it beats saying #3 is hideous and the bride has no taste, etc. Not that I think you were going to say that, of course!)

BarbLovesDave · July 2013

Sometimes a dress that looks great on the hangar looks terrible on the body, and vice versa. You might voice a mild preference for the one you like the best.

Chances are an entirely different dress will be the final choice.

dbanana · July 2013

I oddly like that dress! But I'm not the one wearing it or buying it. Agree with PP's - focus on the positives (the dresses you like), but don't be afraid to mention that you don't feel the "ugly" dress is flattering on you. I'm sure the bride wants you all to look (and feel) beautiful, and she'd appreciate honest opinions.

aurianna · July 2013

So... I love that dress... on the model (I've got a thing for ruffles, flowers and bows. I'm a big Valentino fan too).
I however can see very few normal sized women not looking scary in it.

Agree with PPs. If there's even one you like well enough, feel free to compliment it. "Oh BM, that dress looks great on you!" or something. I'd avoid singling out the dress you do not like, however, unless directly asked or when you're out looking.

AddieCake · July 2013

That dress is cool in an artsy sort of way, but it will look ridiculous on most people, I think. I agree with PPs. Compliment the other dresses. I'm pretty certain the bubble dress is not going to be the winner b/c it's not likely to look good on everyone once you all try it on.

crunchymamaof2 · July 2013

As much as I love Vera Wang's wedding dresses I can't stand most of her bridesmaids dresses at David's. I was in David's yesterday and the dress on the left was on a mannequin and looked gorgeous, different than in the picture there. The one on the right...well I agree with you. I agree with everyone else, focus on the ones you do like. If she asks you directly you can tell her you're not sure if it will flatter you but I'd still try it on if she chooses it as an option.

LavenderHoneyBee · July 2013

I would just reach out via text and say something like, thanks so much for sending the pics, I LOVED numbers 1 and 2 - cant wait to see them with you in person. Just open up that line of communication and see what she says.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Since you know that you will be going to David's Bridal, go online before your visit with the bride & other girls and see if there are other options you like that are available in the color she wants that might be similar in style to what she is going for.

When I went with my girls (DB also) I wanted them to be comfortable and due to all their different body types I just told them what color & length I wanted and let them pick whatever dress they wanted. It removed so much stress from me and them and made it more enjoyable all around.

misssunshine17 · July 2013

I also just want to add that you should think of your budget and tell you what you're looking to spend prior to shopping, since if memory serves me, the VW DB dresses are pretty expensive.

meggiemo · July 2013

I would definitely speak much more highly of the first 2 dresses. You could also mention something about how "loud" that dress is, and how you are worried that a line of bridesmaids with a dress so "eccentric" might draw the eye away from the bride. No bride wants that, right?! (In my opinion, I really do think that as a guest at that wedding I'd be very distracted by dresses that obnoxious. I understand different people like different things, but that is a very different type of dress!)

LavenderHoneyBee · July 2013

Erikan73 said:

Since you know that you will be going to David's Bridal, go online before your visit with the bride & other girls and see if there are other options you like that are available in the color she wants that might be similar in style to what she is going for.

When I went with my girls (DB also) I wanted them to be comfortable and due to all their different body types I just told them what color & length I wanted and let them pick whatever dress they wanted. It removed so much stress from me and them and made it more enjoyable all around.

Erikan73, but it seems pretty clear that the Bride already went to DB and picked out three options. I think it would be a little rude and pushy to be like "well, what about these???". It might overwhelm the bride or make her feel like you don't like the ones she picked.

OP, you seem to be going with the flow and being a good FSIL. I'm sure she'll appreciate that!

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