Cocktail party first

Spavigail_824253 · July 2013

So, I am considering doing pictures in the wedding dress first and then changing into a cocktail dress for when guests arrive. Then hosting a 2 hour cocktail party so guests can get comfortable and meet and eat (I'm always starving by the time the ceremony is over) and mingle with the us. Then I will go and change into the wedding dress and guests will be ushered into the tent for the ceremony. After the ceremony, we go up to dinner/reception. Time line I'm thinking is cocktail party from 3-5 (it's outdoor on the water and I've hired a steel drum band). Ceremony from 5 - 5:30/5:45 followed by dinner inside. What are your thoughts? I like the idea of having everyone feel more united and comfortable for the ceremony, instead of sitting with a bunch of strangers for ceremony and meeting afterwards.

AddieCake · July 2013

Personally, I wouldn't want to eat and mingle with strangers just so they then wouldn't be strangers during the latter half of the day. I don't see how that changes anything, comfort-wise.

CharlieKay10 · July 2013

I agree with Addie. It sounds supremely awkward. For "normal" cocktail hours after the ceremony - it's a good time for people to grab a drink, relax, and to reminisce on the ceremony. Or to talk about the venue, or the newlyweds, or something regarding the wedding. It's hard to do so when the nothing has happened.

Also, 2 hours is a really long time. It sounds like it would be fun for you and a few select members of your WP/family. But for your other guests, it would most likely just be 2 hours where they're standing around wondering why they're standing around.

Unless you marketed it as a "pre-wedding party" or something really optional, I wouldn't do it. Don't tell guests to get there at 3pm just to have them sit around for 2 hours.

MoonlightSilver · July 2013

I think that's a lot of changing in and out of dresses for no reason. If people are hungry before the ceremony starts, they should eat food at home? Will you tell your guests about the timing? Because if I heard there was cocktail hour before the ceremony, I'd probably skip it and just show up for the ceremony and dinner.

We had our ceremony, then 1/2 hour "cocktail hour"- basically just to let people get their drinks, find their seats, etc, and then went straight into dinner.

You'll also probably want to take just a few more pictures right after the ceremony- or at least take a moment to be alone with your husband- so if you go literally straight from ceremony to dinner, your guests might end up starting without you.

AddieCake · July 2013

CharlieKay10 said:

Also, 2 hours is a really long time. It sounds like it would be fun for you and a few select members of your WP/family. But for your other guests, it would most likely just be 2 hours where they're standing around wondering why they're standing around.

I was thinking this, too. For me, this would be 2 hours of awkwardly standing around and thinking that I still had several more hours of this to go.

southernbelle0915 · July 2013

I can see how you have good intentions with this, but it sounds like a lot of fuss. You only get to wear your wedding dress for one day - rock it!

Also, I think if you have a really long cocktail hour people will end up leaving the reception early because they'll be tired. I'd stick to an hour for cocktail "hour" and then start your reception (no need for the steel drums to stop playing - this sounds awesome). Most people aren't a gregarious as you give them credit for. At a two hour cocktail party, most people will stick to chatting with the people they know anyway. Have a strolling reception and keep the party going if you want people to mingle.

thisismynickname2 · July 2013

Actually, I like this idea. I think it's different. Two hours may be a bit much, or I would market it more as an "optional" cocktail hour. Could be hard to plan all this. But, it sounds like you may get more time to mingle with your guests than many brides do (if you're having a larger event in particular). I think there are a lot of factors at work here but if you think your guests with enjoy it, go for it!

[Deleted User] · July 2013

If you want to do this, why does the cocktail hour have to be BEFORE the ceremony? Can't it be after? Even if you want people to meet, etc. why BEFORE the ceremony? It's not like they're going to hang out and talk during your vows. Let them meet after. That makes much more sense. No one cares about sitting next to a 'stranger' during the ceremony, where people don't make small talk.

Plus, I agree with Stage. If you had me standing at a 2 hour cocktail party before the ceremony, I'd still be sitting around a bunch of strangers during your vows. A wedding, for me, is an awesome time to hang out with people I ALREADY KNOW but don't often see. Not to make small talk with people I'll likely never see again.

misssunshine17 · July 2013

Two hours?! I would make it an hour max and make sure people know it's optional and the time of the ceremony. People will mingle at the reception if they want, so I would save the money and skip it.

lc07 · July 2013

We did something similar to this. We did a first look and all of our pictures beforehand. We invited our guests to join us at the ceremony location at 4 pm for cocktails and appetizers before the ceremony which was scheduled to begin at 4:30 pm. It was up to them if they wanted to arrive half an hour early or not since they knew the ceremony time. My then-fiance and I were there to greet our guests as they arrived. We had the full bar open and had a lot of heavy h'ordeurves out in stations. (Our ceremony and reception were in the same space) Then we began the ceremony without processional (since I didn't see the need for a big entrance when I was already there) at 4:30. I liked getting to be there with everyone for the whole event. However, I do think what you're describing - 2 hours is a too long.

annathy03 · July 2013

If it's important to you to do this I'd make it one hour and have the other hour after the ceremony. You could still have app type food at the pre-ceremony cocktail if you're worried folks will be hungry, and it keeps your guests from standing 2 hours straight without cutting your mingling time.

krizzo17 · July 2013

I once met a girl who had her ceremony in between dinner and dessert - she wanted to get married at sunset but sunset wasn't until 8pm and she didn't want to forgo having a meal served. So she had a cocktail hour, then dinner, then changed into her wedding gown, had the ceremony, then dessert and dancing. I think it sounds more relaxed and like a lot of fun, but I'm not sure it would achieve the purpose of having guests get to know each other. Even when I do meet people at events like weddings or birthday parties, I don't ever really exchange information with them to keep in touch, it's just a casual interaction - so I really don't care how well I do or don't get to know the other guests.

LavenderHoneyBee · July 2013

I think it's a lovely idea, but lets be real - no one will want to mingle. They'll only talk to who they already know. So, I would do your ceremony at 3, and then proceed with your plan for a cocktail hour ont he water (sounds so nice!) and then the reception. You can always change into a party dress later on into the reception.

Spavigail_824253 · July 2013

Thanks! I'm just gonna keep it traditional. I guess I really wanted the early mingle time for myself to get to greet everyone, make sure people are comfortable and hang out instead of walking past people I haven't seen in a long time and exchanging vows. I might end up walking down the aisle waving at people in the pews - sarcasm. The 2 hours is obscenely long, I agree. People are getting transported in so I wouldn't be able to give them the option of a later arrival so I guess I'll just skip it and deal with having to wait until after vows to say HI.

Cocktail party first

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