Asking Bridesmaids to be BMs?

Re: Asking Bridesmaids to be BMs?

• SunriseAmber member

  

  July 2013

  I wouldn't worry about it. If they approach you about it then just explain the situation. If they don't then just explain why you waited when you ask.
  

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• Simply Fated member

  

  July 2013

  Her "wedding time?" Seriously? You get one day, not... what, 3 months until her wedding? You shouldn't have to wait 3 months. I mean, you should because it's never good to ask too soon, but THAT should be your reason, not because she needs several months to keep the attention on herself.
  
  Either way, if you know you need to wait because it's her "wedding time" then don't they know that's why you're waiting, too?
  
  

  
  

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• SewInLoveWithDMB member

  

  July 2013

  LakeR2014 said:

  I've heard often on here not to ask your BMs too early to be BMs and I'm listening to this advice...however I have a conundrum.    My wedding will be next summer and I have several close friends who I want to ask to be my BMs.  I have not yet asked them to be as we're not getting married until next summer and one of them is getting married this Fall.  The one getting married this fall is a little iffy about any attention being drawn away from her wedding and has verbalized it already, so I planned on waiting until after her wedding to ask my BMs to be my BMs (we'll have several BMs in common).   My dilemma, I'm getting the impression that they're not happy I haven't asked yet, even though I'm not asking to allow the focus to stay on the other ones wedding.   I feel like I'm in a lose - lose situation.  If I ask, then I'm stepping on her 'wedding time' if I don't, then I'm running the risk of making the girls feel like they're an after thought because I 'waited so long' to ask them even though that's totally not the case.   Any thoughts?
  

  Her "wedding time" is one day.

  
  

  I wouldn't ask a year in advance cause you never know how strong a friendship will be in a year. It's good to have an idea of who you will ask, but don't do any formal "asking." If they are upset at not being asked yet, they need to chill. (But tell them that nicely.)

  
  
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• coolwhipz1 member

  

  July 2013

  Agree with other PP's, her wedding is one day, not an entire season.

   

  That being said I think you should wait to ask anyone. I, unfortunately, asked about a year ahead of time and throughout the course of that year ended up coming to hate my MOH. Luckily for me she dropped out the day we were going to order dresses and I haven't talked to her since.

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• dbanana member

  

  July 2013

  Agreed - don't worry about stepping on her "wedding time." It sounds like you are being really considerate as it is. If you do decide to ask now, I would not talk about your own wedding during any "BM duties" you might have from her (e.g., helping with favors or invitation stuffing).

  
  

  Personally, I asked my BMs all about two years out before our wedding. I knew it was going to be the three girls I've chosen. One is my little sister, the other two have been my best friends for years. I know it doesn't work out this way for everyone, but I couldn't have asked for a better group of girls, and they loved knowing early on that there was no second guessing who I wanted to be with me on that day. 

  

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