Alcohol Help!!

scmurphy2010 · July 2013

While I understand a cash bar is apparently not cool, an open bar may not be a financial possibility. What is classy, yet not super expensive option?

ambermarie089 · July 2013

Just host what you can afford. The easiest option is to host wine and beer. Most people like one or the other and thus you'd be providing alcohol and saving money.

Teddy917 · July 2013

Or just do a dry reception

mstallae · July 2013

You could also go signature cocktail route but I still would prefer hosted wine and beer personally.

AddieCake · July 2013

Ditto PPs. You can just host limited kinds of drinks or have a dry reception altogether.

misssunshine17 · July 2013

Beer & wine is completely fine. Or dry is fine.

Redbride801 · July 2013

As a guest, I'd prefer a cash bar over a dry wedding

BarbLovesDave · July 2013

Talk to your caterer/venue and see what they have to offer within your budget.

There's nothing wrong with a dry wedding, especially when the alternative would be to go into debt.

There's one option, although it's not all that great. If the venue has a bar on the premises, would the bar be a short walk from your reception? If so, could a guest walk out of your reception, walk to the bar, buy their own drink, then carry it back to your reception? Do the venue and local liquor laws allow this?

It's tantamount to the dreaded and very tacky cash bar, but on the other hand you can't just lock your guests in the room and forbid them from taking a short walk. How are you to know if they are going to the restroom or to the bar? So long as you provide ample food and drink within your reception, people are free to come and go as they please.

Those who don't care that much about alcoholic drinks can just enjoy the punch and soft drinks you provide. Those who REALLY want alcohol can go get it themselves.

annathy03 · July 2013

Beer and wine, possibly with a signature cocktail, is a less expensive way to host alcohol. I'm not sure how far you are in planning, but you could also do an early reception. Many places charge less for the food at lunch which frees up more of the budget, and people tend to drink less during the day so open bar may be less as well. ETA: typos.

Peledreamsofrain · July 2013

Beer and wine (plus non-alcoholic drinks) satisfy 99% of people. You stay classy by not forcing guests to turn out their pockets, but you also don't bankrupt yourself. Win win.

LavenderHoneyBee · July 2013

Beer and Wine is nice because its usually low cost and still provides guests with options. Signature cocktails are fine too, but you have to select ones that will be universally appealing.

Also, considering hosting for cocktail hour and maybe portions of the event - you might not need to do the entire length of the reception.

aurianna · July 2013

LavenderHoneyBee said:

Beer and Wine is nice because its usually low cost and still provides guests with options. Signature cocktails are fine too, but you have to select ones that will be universally appealing.

Also, considering hosting for cocktail hour and maybe portions of the event - you might not need to do the entire length of the reception.

A signature cocktail would be great, OP (I don't do beer or wine, but I love me some cocktails). But you can't please everyone, so if you can't do one, or one that everyone likes, it's ok. When I go to weddings with beer & wine only (or cash bars), I just raise my hand and say I'll be the DD, drink my diet coke, and it all works out just fine.

As to the bolded... definitely well meaning advice, but I wouldn't do that. Whatever you host, you want to host it throughout (though I don't personally side eye people that close the bar for an hour at dinner assuming waitstaff will constantly refill my water).
If you change up what you're offering, it confuses people. If all drinks were free at one point, a guest might not have gotten the memo and come later and ordered something only to be charged for it. Or there will be a huge mad run on the bar right before it closes. Or someone will find out after the fact that they missed free cocktails having missed the window, and be disappointed.

So keep consistency. Offer the same things throughout, and host everything that is available (aka try to avoid hosting beer and wine but having liquor available for purchase. I know I always resent it when my husband drinks his beer for free but I'm expected to shell out cash to get a cocktail)

Jen4948 · July 2013

Redbride801 said:

As a guest, I'd prefer a cash bar over a dry wedding

Which is rude. You're not entitled to alcohol just because you're a guest at a wedding.

This kind of thinking is what leads to the rudeness of hosts deciding they have to provide something they don't want to pay for.

OP, host what you can afford, whether that's a limited bar or no alcohol at all.

Redbride801 · July 2013

Jen4948 said:

show previous quotes

Redbride801 said:

As a guest, I'd prefer a cash bar over a dry wedding

Which is rude. You're not entitled to alcohol just because you're a guest at a wedding.

This kind of thinking is what leads to the rudeness of hosts deciding they have to provide something they don't want to pay for.

OP, host what you can afford, whether that's a limited bar or no alcohol at all.

Never said I was entitled, just simply stated my PREFERENCE as a guest.

TKzilla · July 2013

Redbride801 said:

show previous quotes

Jen4948 said:

Redbride801 said:

As a guest, I'd prefer a cash bar over a dry wedding

Which is rude. You're not entitled to alcohol just because you're a guest at a wedding.

This kind of thinking is what leads to the rudeness of hosts deciding they have to provide something they don't want to pay for.

OP, host what you can afford, whether that's a limited bar or no alcohol at all.

Never said I was entitled, just simply stated my PREFERENCE as a guest.

Well personally, I'd prefer if you didn't give out bad advice on an Etiquette board.

Jen4948 · July 2013

Redbride801 said:

show previous quotes

Jen4948 said:

Redbride801 said:

As a guest, I'd prefer a cash bar over a dry wedding

Which is rude. You're not entitled to alcohol just because you're a guest at a wedding.

This kind of thinking is what leads to the rudeness of hosts deciding they have to provide something they don't want to pay for.

OP, host what you can afford, whether that's a limited bar or no alcohol at all.

Never said I was entitled, just simply stated my PREFERENCE as a guest.

Sorry, but this is an etiquette board, and this is not a polite preference. It encourages rudeness.

Redbride801 · July 2013

Since I'm new here, I should also probably admit that if I got B-listed, in SOME situations, I wouldn't be offended. ::GASP::

TKzilla · July 2013

Redbride801 said:

Since I'm new here, I should also probably admit that if I got B-listed, in SOME situations, I wouldn't be offended. ::GASP::

Bite your tongue blasphemer! :P

KDM323 · July 2013

If you haven't picked your venue yet...you may still have a lot of options.

1. Dry wedding - completely acceptable.
2. Beer/wine/signature cocktail - less expensive than a full open bar
3. Depending on your venue, you may be able to purchase your own alcohol (meaning: you and your fiance purchase ALL of the alcohol that will be served at your wedding rather than getting the alcohol from your venue) and then you can get it on sale, perhaps at discount stores, spread out the purchases over the course of months, etc....and then you could hire a bartender for the evening.

Chipmunk415 · July 2013

We're considering just a champagne toast. But then, we're having a lunch reception. Maybe doing beer and wine.

Go with what your budget allows. Better to have plenty of food and water/tea/coffee/soda/juice than to a) not have enough because of pricey booze or b) charge your guests for booze.

I agree with Drexel regarding checking to see if you can bring in your own- waaay cheaper to do it that way. Big bro and new SIL did that, and ended up not only cutting the cost of booze by 75%, but also with enough alcohol at the end of the night to have another mid sized reception.

audreyecu61 · July 2013

Our venue didn't allow alcohol as it was on a historic site. We had champagne for the toast. We purchased very nice high end wine. No one asked for hard alcohol and we received complements on the wine selection.

My daughter is getting married next year, we are stocking up on alcohol ourselves, with the caterer providing only the actual bartenders.

Bubbles2014 · July 2013

We are only providing house wine and beers.

CheleLyn · July 2013

We're going to have beer and about 4 different well drinks, as well as soda, punch, water, tea, and coffee.

CheleLyn · July 2013

drexelkathy said:

If you haven't picked your venue yet...you may still have a lot of options.

1. Dry wedding - completely acceptable.
2. Beer/wine/signature cocktail - less expensive than a full open bar
3. Depending on your venue, you may be able to purchase your own alcohol (meaning: you and your fiance purchase ALL of the alcohol that will be served at your wedding rather than getting the alcohol from your venue) and then you can get it on sale, perhaps at discount stores, spread out the purchases over the course of months, etc....and then you could hire a bartender for the evening.

We actually changed venue so we could do this...it's SO much less expensive.

AddieCake · July 2013

Redbride801 said:

Since I'm new here, I should also probably admit that if I got B-listed, in SOME situations, I wouldn't be offended. ::GASP::

daisey18 · July 2013

Whatever happened to alcoholic punch?

I remember when I was a kid, every wedding I went to- we weren't allowed to drink the punch. It was only for the grown-ups, because it was BOOZEY.

Sometimes there was also beer and wine- but I never ever saw a full bar or a cash bar or "signature cocktails" until 1992.

Bring back punch! Lots and lots of different booze filled punch. It's delicious, and I miss seeing pretty punch bowl tables with tipsy aunties holding court

loca4pook · July 2013

jss0302 said:

We're doing beer, boxed wine (because we are klassy like that), and champagne because it's a New Year's Eve wedding. FI and I are also planning on getting a couple of kegs of some awesome beer brewed here in Louisiana for all of my Arkansas friends and family to try. We have already started buying 30 packs of beer at Sam's. Everytime we go, we'll pick up a pack or two.

There isn't a problem with doing what you can afford (unless it's a cash bar).

If your wedding is ON New Year's eve, you might want to consider ordering even MORE alcohol than normally recommended. your guests will utterly rebel if yuo run out of alcohol....just my two cents...If you expect your guests to give up a new years eve for you, you better be prepared that they will want to get JUST as liquored up at your wedding as they would at a normal NYE...of course, you know your crowd the best...but just figured you might need EXTRA liquor than normal...

Dreamergirl8812 · July 2013

I was just talking to my friend on facebook. We were talking about our other friend's upcoming wedding. I just asked her if other friend was still talking about having a cash bar.

Her response: "Cash bar? As in a bar that accepts cash?"

Heehee.

Redbride801 · July 2013

AddieL73 said:

show previous quotes

Redbride801 said:

Since I'm new here, I should also probably admit that if I got B-listed, in SOME situations, I wouldn't be offended. ::GASP::

Waaaaahhh

Redbride801 · July 2013

AddieL73 said:

show previous quotes

Redbride801 said:

Since I'm new here, I should also probably admit that if I got B-listed, in SOME situations, I wouldn't be offended. ::GASP::

I do not approve of dollar dances, and think honeymoon registries are a bad idea. Does that earn me a spot at the mean girls' table?

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