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Inviting stepmother's mother

tedds1219tedds1219 member
Fifth Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi everyone, here is some background:
My father is helping pay for about 1/3 of our wedding while we are paying the rest. He wants to invite my stepmother's mother (I am not at all close with either woman). Neither maintains any kind of relationship with me and I personally don't think it is appropriate, considering my mother's entire family will be there. It would make them all uncomfortable.

What would you do?

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Re: Inviting stepmother's mother

  • krizzo17krizzo17 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper

    Honestly, if he's truly just asked that that one extra person be invited, and you don't see this spreading any further, I'd invite her. Your stepmother is likely to be uncomfortable being seen as an "outsider" at this event, especially since you aren't close, and she'd probably just like someone to sit with while your father does all the father-of-the-bride type things.

    However, if you see this as possibly spiraling out of control, or your dad is constantly trying to add other people to the list, you can politely decline his offer to pay for part of the wedding, have the wedding you can afford on your own, and retain total control of the guest list.

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    You  need to invite your dad's wife. Even if he wasn't contributing financially, you need to invite her. With only the info you posted, I don't see any major issues with inviting her mother. If your dad wants to invite her, I would do it. Your mom's family can ignore her.
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  • wittykitty14wittykitty14 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    southernbelle0915 said:
    You  need to invite your dad's wife. Even if he wasn't contributing financially, you need to invite her. With only the info you posted, I don't see any major issues with inviting her mother. If your dad wants to invite her, I would do it. Your mom's family can ignore her.

    It's not her dad's wife.  She's asking about her dad's wife's mother (her stepmother's mother).

    I agree with krizzo, just invite her.

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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    tedds1219 said:

    Hi everyone, here is some background:
    My father is helping pay for about 1/3 of our wedding while we are paying the rest. He wants to invite my stepmother's mother (I am not at all close with either woman). Neither maintains any kind of relationship with me and I personally don't think it is appropriate, considering my mother's entire family will be there. It would make them all uncomfortable.

    What would you do?

    I would invite her. I somehow doubt ONE extra person will make all your mom's entire family uncomfortable. It's just one person.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    She is probably worried your dad will be "busy" with wedding stuff and you that day and wants a little company since she will likely feel awkward as it is. Just let her bring her mother. It's only one person. 


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  • tedds1219tedds1219 member
    Fifth Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks ladies! I appreciate the advice!
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  • BarbLovesDaveBarbLovesDave member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Given the fact that the additional guest won't break the budget, I'd go ahead and invite her. It's your call, though.
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