How do I handle this?

MrsH86 · July 2013

All of the guests had RSVP'd except for one couple, friends of the groom's family. The grooms mother called them to check and they said that Yes they were coming, and bringing their 23 year old daughter...? The invite said "Mr. & Mrs. Smith." We are right at the limit for guests, and we are having a very small guest list with immediate family and a few friends. I don't want to come off like bridezilla, but I don't really want some random girl coming that we don't even know and be responsible to pay for her. I'm just annoyed... advice?

BangBangs39 · July 2013

Have FI call them and say "We are so pleased that you will be able to come, however I think there was some confusion, our budget only allows us to accommodate you and your husband, again sorry for the confusion and I look forward to seeing you" - or something along those lines.

smalfrie19 · July 2013

well as it is your wedding, you or your FI should have called and at that time you should have let them know that you cannot accomodated any extra guests. I would recomend having you or your FI call and say something along the lines of " We are so excited for you and mr smith to come, however we are at limit and cannot accomdate your daughter" and a apologize for any misunderstanding. if they say they won't come then let them know that you are sorry and will miss them.

MobKaz · July 2013

You only have two options.

Find room for this one additional person to sit with her parents.

Call the guests back and explain that the invitation was extended to Mr. and Mrs. Guest only, and ask if they will still be attending as a party of 2.

Was your FMIL aware that the invitation was for a party of 2 when she called? Is there a reason this couple feels compelled to bring an adult child along?

wittykitty14 · July 2013

If it's just one more person, I wouldn't worry too much about it. But since she wasn't invited and you're having a very small wedding, you're well within your right to say she can't come.

"Glad to hear you can make it to the wedding! However, the invitation was only for you and Mrs. Smith. We look forward to seeing you there!" Or something of that nature is appropriate. I usually throw out a "sorry for the confusion", but it's not necessary

MrsH86 · July 2013

I know one person isn't a big deal.. it's just that its 9 days before my wedding and we had to hunt them down to get a response, then they decide to bring their daughter... if she was a small child, I would understand. But she is grown, and we don't know her. I would rather invite more of my own friends if we were having more people. But we wanted it to be a small gathering. I'm just stressed with the wedding being so close, and I don't want to come off rude. Bangs, I will have him call them, what you said sounds perfect!

MrsH86 · July 2013

thank you ladies for all your advice! I was trying to find a nice way to respond.. I just feeling like my brain is overwhelmed with wedding info!

BangBangs39 · July 2013

@MrsH86 - take a deep breath and relax - everything from this point on is going to be what its going to be.... I understand how stressful it can be - I too am getting married on the 20th.

MrsH86 · July 2013

Thank you!! And Congrats to you! I am really trying to tie up all the loose end this week so that next week I can just count down the days! So I might be going a little insane today and tomorrow, but that's to preserve my sanity for next week, LOL!

BangBangs39 · July 2013

MrsH86 said:

Thank you!! And Congrats to you! I am really trying to tie up all the loose end this week so that next week I can just count down the days! So I might be going a little insane today and tomorrow, but that's to preserve my sanity for next week, LOL!

Haha thank you, I'm doing the same thing!! I have a pretty much an entirely DIY wedding and I keep telling FI - DO IT NOW!!! LOL Because I too want to just enjoy next week!!

Congrats and Enjoy - I am sure it will be everything you hope for!!

southernbelle0915 · July 2013

If they didn't RSVP, they may have lost the invitation and not realized the daughter wasn't invited (I'm sure she would have received her own, but whatever, trying to give them the benefit of the doubt). No shame in calling them up and saying, "Thanks for letting us know that you'll be attending. I'm so sorry for any confusion but the invitation was for you and your husband. Are you and your husband still able to attend?" They'll probably be embarrassed for inviting an uninvited guest and apologize.

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