October 2014 Weddings

anyone else fiance help

fiancé doesn't want to help. all he says is he wants it to be zombie and on the 31st of October. I agreed to those conditions but I feel like I am already getting overwhelmed. I have several ideas that we are doing but its now getting the little things in place.

Re: anyone else fiance help

  • Zombies? Awesome! My brother is addicted to "The Walking Dead" and is trying to get his fiancee to agree to zombie details.... she's not as excited about it (haha).  My fiance tries to be helpful, in that he visited the reception and ceremony spaces with me.  He only cares about our vows and our cake, so I guess that's normal!  

    As for being overwhelmed, do not fret! We've all been there!  I'd recommend setting up a monthly to-do list on your computer.  You can add in the tasks you need to complete and easily switch tasks from one month to the next.  It really has helped me to not forget things.  For example, when I looked at it the other day, I completely forgot about setting up a cake tasting.  WHAT WAS I THINKING?!  Take some time, maybe call a friend who is married, and just add tasks to your to do list.  Once it's written, you'll be able to breathe a lot easier!
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    ~Melissa
  • Thanks. I figure its the least I could do even if I wasn't thrilled at first but the more I think about it the more it is us. My fiancé loves the walking dead. I have time just feel like I don't. its funny he really doesn't even care about the cake he just wanted the zombie theme.
  • Uh, no zombies for me (I'm legit scared of zombies), But he mostly listens and asks questions when it comes to "helping". Like I make 2 or 3 suggestions for things, and he either peeps up about NOT wanting something, or says he doesnt care (which is kinda frustrating at times)

    Once we book the Ceremony & Reception Venue (I know, I'm waaaay behind) I plan on giving him the responsibility of the wedding favors, and the DJ must play/ dont play list. I might give him some other things too, but I dont think he's up to handling other stuff since he seems so uninterested.
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  • Raeneera, I have an idea for my venue but I haven't booked anything either. that's a good idea having fiancé do the favors. we are doing match boxes since zombies are afraid of fire. I did talk to a dj yesterday. I told him I was thinking of on the rsvp cards having them put there favorite song. he told me that it makes it hard when couples do that because some people wont dance. they like the idea of like certain genres of music that they can and cant play.
  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    When you say he doesn't want to help, do you mean he doesn't want to help with the planning or he doesn't want to help get stuff done (i.e., assembling centerpieces)? 

    If he doesn't want to help with the planning, don't force him. My FI doesn't want much involvement either, so my plan is to narrow things down for him and then get his input. For example, I'm going to pick two or three color schemes and get his opinions. If he hates one, we'll nix it. If he doesn't care which of the remaining ones we go with, I'll have the final say. 
    Another thing I've found is helpful is to find out if there are any aspects he does care about. My guy is big on lighting and alcohol, so he'll be pretty involved when it comes to that stuff. Obviously, yours cares about the date and zombies. Ask him more questions: How much zombie does he want? How else does he want to incorporate zombies? Does he want a Halloween wedding since it's on the 31st? Halloween colors? Etc. 
    Lastly, I'd suggest timing your wedding chats. I'm not going to hound my FI with wedding details the minute he gets home from work. Instead, we'll plan an evening to sit down and talk about it over dinner or drinks. He's much more likely to contribute his opinions that way.

    Like you, I know I have plenty of time, but feel a little overwhelmed because there's just so much to do! We have our venue booked, but other than that, haven't really made any decisions. But it'll be okay! We've got 16 months. My girlfriend just planned her wedding in one. We can do this! (PS - Sorry this is spaced weird. I'm not sure what's going on.)

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  • Mine just keeps telling me that what ever makes me happy. I found that when I actually got him out to look at things with me, he did have opinions. Guys are different than us girls. They care about strange things. 

    And don't stress. You still have time. And I like the idea of giving him tasks. I think that helps keep him in a part of the process, and pushes something off of your mind. 

    Just don't expect too much. He wants to marry you and that is all that really matters in the end. 
    October 2014 September Inspiration: Colors

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