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Kid Problems

PennyMMHPennyMMH member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiance and I are getting married next June. In his excitement, he invited a couple that we both know, but the wife drives me crazy. We have decided on an adults-only wedding (except for the children in the wedding party), but this woman has told her daughter that she is invited as well, after I informed everyone that children are not invited. Normally, I would just say, "Screw it," and invite the other children in our family, but this little girl is such an annoying little brat. My fiance has a bad back, and she's constantly charging him, full force, in the back. If she's not the center of attention, she starts jumping on people to get their attention and always has to get her own way. I don't mind including the children in the wedding party, because the ones we have chosen are so ridiculously well-behaved I think there is something seriously wrong with them :) How to I inform this woman (again!) that her daughter is not welcome at my wedding without seeming like a total Bridezilla. I don't want to spend my entire wedding day worrying about which one of my guests she's going to attack next or have her act out because nobody's paying attention to her.
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Re: Kid Problems

  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You've already told her once that her daughter isn't invited right? I wouldn't mention it (or anything else-stop verbally inviting people!) until invitations actually go out. Then, address it to her and her husband and if she RSVPs for 3, call her and say no.
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  • Bird LadyBird Lady member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    "I'm sorry for any miscommunication, but the invitation is for you and your husband only." Repeat, repeat, and repeat. And if she tells you that they won't be able to part from their darling daughter for the night, simply say "I'm sorry to hear that, we will miss you at the wedding!" 
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  • BangBangs39BangBangs39
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Just go to her and say "I'm sorry for the confusion, but we have budgeted for an adult only wedding.  I hope you will both still be able to come"
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    Ditto @starmoon44

    If it comes up in conversation, remind her that there aren't going to be any children. If she says "well baby's going to come! She's so excited!" Say "I'm sorry to disappoint her, but we can't accommodate her at the wedding." BUT don't go out of your way to bring it up.

    Send the invitation to just the woman and her husband, and if they RSVP for them + snookums call them to tell them that you apologize for the confusion but the invite was just for mom and dad. If she pulls the "she's coming or else we won't go" card, tell them that they will be missed and you understand. 
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • clharrison2clharrison2 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I agree with the first two posts. Stand your ground, address invitations to only her and husband, and if it is really that big of deal she just won't attend. I am planning my wedding for May 2014 and I know how stressful it is dealing with difficult people, but try not to stress over things that do not really matter. It just spoils all the fun you should be having!:)
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    If your wedding isn't until next June, I would drop it for now. Whenever it comes up in conversation, find a way to slip in that you're not having children at the wedding. 

    Then address her invitation to her and her husband. If/When they RSVP for 3 (and possibly a date for their indigo child), call her and apologize for the confusion but that the invitation is only for her and her husband and you hope the 2 of them can attend. If not, oh well. Sounds like you don't like her anyway.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Ditto PPs. If it comes up, reiterate that children are not invited, and then change the subject. Address the invitations only to the adults and then make the dreaded phone call if she adds little sugarbear to the RSVP.


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • cmiles89cmiles89 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    sxyktn812 said:
    BangBangs39 said:
    Just go to her and say "I'm sorry for the confusion, but we have budgeted for an adult only wedding.  I hope you will both still be able to come"
    I actually wouldn't recommend this, because you'd be stuck if she offers to cover the kid's plate just so she can come. Leave budget out of it, you don't have to justify why you planned a kid-free day.
    Good point, I never even considered that. Someone suggested "we can't accommodate", I think that leaves less wiggle room. All you can do is what people have suggested. If she STILL doesn't get it, my impression is that this may be your FI's oopsie and perhaps he should talk to this couple if push comes to shove.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd tell her, "The wedding is adults only.  That's why the invitation was addressed solely to you and your husband.  We cannot accommodate your daughter."
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