Hi guys! I’m new
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My boyfriend and I have obviously talked about
marriage. He has told me in the past
that he would not go and look at rings w/ me (this discussion came up when I
told him my best friend and her then boyfriend were going to look). I’m not saying my boyfriend doesn’t have
style, he does on some things but I had to tell the guy when we started dating
not to wear polo shirts and basketball shorts together. I have a very simple style that really
doesn’t include any jewelry at all, save for a necklace he got me for our
anniversary, which he did okay picking out.
My mom, my sister and I happened to get out shopping one day (a rare occurrence,
since my sister has three children) and decided to go look at rings. My mom gets a pretty substantial discount at
one of the jewelers in the area and we also went to a few that were close to
there. I went w/ the intention of
telling my mom what I liked, since I had never tried on any rings before. I ended up liking one 100 times more than any
of the others. It had a ‘premium cut’
stone in it (similar to a Leo Diamond).
I told my boyfriend if he ever wanted to look at rings to take my mom w/
him not only because she knows what I would want, but also for the
discount. The ring I choose is pretty
pricey for us. He ended up telling me
when they went looking because well, he just can’t keep a secret. I didn’t realize that while they can swap out
the stone for a smaller one, they don’t have the premium stone in a smaller size;
it would have to be a regular round cut stone.
I also wouldn’t put a band/enhancer with the ring, simply wear it w/o so
later on that will save some expense.
The problem is now I feel guilt for the whole thing. He told my mom “she deserves what she wants”
and I know he means it. The problem is
now I feel guilty that he is going to have to come up with the money for
it. On the one hand, I’m going to wear
one ring for the rest of my life, and there is a good chance it will be the
only ring I ever wear, I want to LOVE it.
On the other hand I feel really guilty for putting pressure on him. I have made it clear that he can switch the
stone for a smaller regular cut stone or that he can choose another one altogether. I also know there is nothing I can say that
would make him believe that this ring with that stone isn’t what I really
want. I can’t help but think I also took
away his chance to pick out the ring.
How do I get rid of this guilt?
Honestly, I’m just happy that he wants to propose to me. I will say that well my boyfriend isn’t
selfish, I don’t think he would feel guilty if the shoe were on the other
foot. I’m trying to channel that mentality,
I’m just not any good at it.