Wedding Etiquette Forum

help me with wording...?

I got a check in the mail recently a guest who was not able to come to the wedding.

Very gracious of her, but unfortunately, she put the wrong name.  She thought H's MIDDLE name was his (and now our) LAST name.  Not only that, but I think she spelled it wrong too because on our invitations, the font was a little weird and made it look like the C was a G.

I need to tell her, but I'm not sure exactly how to word it.  Kind of embarrassing for both of us.  I'm emailing her because I don't have her phone number, and she can be difficult to get in contact with anyways.

Something like, "We received your lovely card and gift in the mail!  Thank you so much for thinking of us, but I think there was some confusion about H's last name.  His name is actually ____.  Do you want me to tear up the check?"

The last part is the part I'm most unsure of.  Should I just ask "what would you like me to do?"  Or.... ?

Suggestions?  I just don't want to sound ungrateful or like I'm being critical.  It's a mistake that I'm sure could happen to anyone.  And I really appreciate her sending a gift at all!

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Re: help me with wording...?

  • Have you gone to the bank and tried to deposit it? If you bring your marriage license with you, which should show your husband's middle name, and both of your identification, and ask to speak to someone, they might be able to assist you, and that would avoid the awkwardness altogether. I'm not just guessing, I've worked in banks and the manager has some discretion there.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    White Knot


  • We thought about that, but the name looks misspelled by one letter, and we thought maybe it was best to alert her of our real last name anyway for future correspondence.

    Also, we haven't gotten our marriage license yet anyways (grrr... it's been 6 weeks!)

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  • Goodness, 6 weeks is long. I work for a clerk, we usually do a 2-week turnaround. I'm sorry, you must be frustrated.

    Hmmm, well you should let her know I imagine, I just thought this might save the really awkward part, with the money, and then you could tell her some other time. But if you have to, I guess say something at the end like, "His name is actually _____. I think our font was confusing, so I'm sorry about that. Unfortunately the bank won't let us deposit your gift. I apologize for the hassle. Would you like me to mail the check back to you?"
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    White Knot


  • That's good wording, thanks!  

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