Noisy Neighbors?

misslauracaroline · July 2013

Hoping this is the appropriate place to post, and that someone has some insight!

I'm looking at a fall wedding on a Saturday with an early afternoon ceremony and reception to end by 9:00. I'd like to have the ceremony outdoors and the reception indoors. Our budget isn't tiny, but we'd like to make the most of it. After spending hours looking at venues online, it occurred to me that my FIL's upscale subdivision has an AMAZING green space and clubhouse. It's spacious, well-maintained, peaceful, and the perfect size for our group. From what I've heard it's also pretty flexible with decorating and catering, and best of all it's inexpensive. It's also conveniently close to the FIL's house (which is quite nice itself) - out in the northern suburbs, where most of my FH's family lives - but pretty far out for my family coming from out of town.

Sounds ideal, but what concerns me is that there are houses on all sides of the venue. Not right next to the club house, but still close-ish. We aren't a noisy bunch so I'm much less concerned about us bothering the neighbors than about them bothering us - obviously I don't want my pastor to have to talk over the sound of lawn mower or a screaming child, and I certainly don't want strangers wandering over to see what's up.

I've thought about proactively handling this by sending a tactful note to each of the surrounding houses informing them of the date and asking them to be consciensious of their noise level (as well as apologizing for any inconvenience and expressing gratitude for being able to use the facility). I realize this would cost a bit in paper and postage, but that's nbd with how much we would save on the venue.

Has anyone used a venue in a similar situation? If so, I'd love to hear your experience. Any thoughts on this solution or other recommendations? Are there any other issues specific to a venue located in a residential area?

Thanks y'all!

Dreamergirl8812 · July 2013

misslauracaroline said:

Hoping this is the appropriate place to post, and that someone has some insight!

I'm looking at a fall wedding on a Saturday with an early afternoon ceremony and reception to end by 9:00. I'd like to have the ceremony outdoors and the reception indoors. Our budget isn't tiny, but we'd like to make the most of it. After spending hours looking at venues online, it occurred to me that my FIL's upscale subdivision has an AMAZING green space and clubhouse. It's spacious, well-maintained, peaceful, and the perfect size for our group. From what I've heard it's also pretty flexible with decorating and catering, and best of all it's inexpensive. It's also conveniently close to the FIL's house (which is quite nice itself) - out in the northern suburbs, where most of my FH's family lives - but pretty far out for my family coming from out of town.

Sounds ideal, but what concerns me is that there are houses on all sides of the venue. Not right next to the club house, but still close-ish. We aren't a noisy bunch so I'm much less concerned about us bothering the neighbors than about them bothering us - obviously I don't want my pastor to have to talk over the sound of lawn mower or a screaming child, and I certainly don't want strangers wandering over to see what's up.

I've thought about proactively handling this by sending a tactful note to each of the surrounding houses informing them of the date and asking them to be consciensious of their noise level (as well as apologizing for any inconvenience and expressing gratitude for being able to use the facility). I realize this would cost a bit in paper and postage, but that's nbd with how much we would save on the venue.

Has anyone used a venue in a similar situation? If so, I'd love to hear your experience. Any thoughts on this solution or other recommendations? Are there any other issues specific to a venue located in a residential area?

Thanks y'all!

If I got a note like that I would get nice and drunk (and loud) that night.

Someone mowing their lawn is a possibility but you think sending a note to people will get their kids to stop crying? Are you kidding? Are you sending notes to your guests telling them to make sure their kids shut the fuck up? And how are you going to tactfully tell people not to wander over to "see what's up?"

I can't. Is this fake??

RebeccaB88 · July 2013

My cousin just had a similar wedding - upscale neighborhood clubhouse, on a golf course, surrounded by homes. We had NOTHING that you're worried about happen. No lawnmowers, no kids playing games, no nosy neighbors, no golf balls hitting anyone (golfers politely kept their distance, actually). It was a very nice event. I think most people will have enough of a brain to respect your event, and those that don't will look like the fools, not you.

freebread03 · July 2013

I think it's certainly courteous to let neighbors know there will be a big event taking place, but I would be completely taken aback and offended if you sent me a note asking me to be "conscientious" of my noise level. In fact, this would make me NOT want to be my normal, quiet self inside my own home. Please rethink your plan-you cannot tell people how to act in their own homes and implying that adults don't know how to respect a wedding going on next door is offensive.

NYCBruin · July 2013

You can't ask people to be quiet during your event that likely poses an imposition on THEM. You are the one hosting an event that may end up being loud and bothering them in their HOME. People that would be courteous enough to not be loud because there was a wedding going on will do so without being told. People who are going to be loud are going to be loud regardless of a note. If you send a note it could totally backfire. I, for one, might make an effort to be extra loud just because your request was so absurd.

kayjayem · July 2013

misslauracaroline said:

I've thought about proactively handling this by sending a tactful note to each of the surrounding houses informing them of the date and asking them to be consciensious of their noise level (as well as apologizing for any inconvenience and expressing gratitude for being able to use the facility). I realize this would cost a bit in paper and postage, but that's nbd with how much we would save on the venue.

If I were going to write a note at all (I probably wouldn't) I would definitely leave out the part about them keeping it down. The other stuff you mentioned (apologizing for inconvenience, etc.) might be nice, although probably still unnecessary.

NYCMercedes · July 2013

The HOA should have rules governing use of the clubhouse as far as noise and hours. Review them. Agree with PP who said the only note you should write is one expressing your concern for bothering them.

loca4pook · July 2013

Are you for REAL??????

I would imagine your level of guests WILL be way louder than whatever they do on their day to day basis in their house. In fact, if they DO plan on having a wild bash at THEIR house, that is within their absolute right within the noise ordinances in their area. Your note idea sound selfish and offensive. I am kinda hoping this is a MUD

I got married at a golf course in a residential area where their backyards faced the cocktail hour. I never noticed them..if they were even out at all so your concern..

My friend got married next to a public pool. When her cerremony happened, you could see the kids line up at the fence and watched. Instead of being upsetting to her, she thought it was cute. Stuff happens. It's all just part of the story later

libby2483 · July 2013

I think that sending the neighbors a note asking them to be quiet is WAY over the line. As many PPs have said, it might backfire, and people who are offended by being told how to act may actually purposefully make extra noise. This would be quite rude on their part, but most people don't react well to being told how to act when they have done nothing wrong.

Anywhere you get married has the potential to have some sort of background noise or distraction, especially if it is outside. I think you just need to trust that this one will work itself out...or choose a different venue.

If you try to micromanage every aspect of your wedding this much...you're gonna have a bad time.

Jen4948 · July 2013

Giving your neighbors a heads-up about your wedding would be okay, but telling them not to mow their lawns or to keep their kids quiet or to stay away would not be. Unfortunately, when you plan for your wedding to take place that close to where people live, those things are hazards that you'll have to deal with graciously only if and when they arise.

Viczaesar · July 2013

misslauracaroline said:

Hoping this is the appropriate place to post, and that someone has some insight!

I'm looking at a fall wedding on a Saturday with an early afternoon ceremony and reception to end by 9:00. I'd like to have the ceremony outdoors and the reception indoors. Our budget isn't tiny, but we'd like to make the most of it. After spending hours looking at venues online, it occurred to me that my FIL's upscale subdivision has an AMAZING green space and clubhouse. It's spacious, well-maintained, peaceful, and the perfect size for our group. From what I've heard it's also pretty flexible with decorating and catering, and best of all it's inexpensive. It's also conveniently close to the FIL's house (which is quite nice itself) - out in the northern suburbs, where most of my FH's family lives - but pretty far out for my family coming from out of town.

Sounds ideal, but what concerns me is that there are houses on all sides of the venue. Not right next to the club house, but still close-ish. We aren't a noisy bunch so I'm much less concerned about us bothering the neighbors than about them bothering us - obviously I don't want my pastor to have to talk over the sound of lawn mower or a screaming child, and I certainly don't want strangers wandering over to see what's up.

I've thought about proactively handling this by sending a tactful note to each of the surrounding houses informing them of the date and asking them to be consciensious of their noise level (as well as apologizing for any inconvenience and expressing gratitude for being able to use the facility). I realize this would cost a bit in paper and postage, but that's nbd with how much we would save on the venue.

Has anyone used a venue in a similar situation? If so, I'd love to hear your experience. Any thoughts on this solution or other recommendations? Are there any other issues specific to a venue located in a residential area?

Thanks y'all!

How nice of you to be unconcerned about disturbing the neighbors that you'll be inconveniencing and, instead, concerned about them disturbing you.

BlondieBia21 · July 2013

Hhhhmm... Leave out anything about their noise levels, like all the other PPs said- those things are out of your control and there's no way to control them at all. If you do send a letter, I'd send it and just say you're having your wedding there on x/x/xx at x and you wanted to let them know because there will be an increase of traffic in the neighborhood and you didn't want to inconvenience them. Definitely do not mention their noise level..

misssunshine17 · July 2013

I would probably do something inappropriate if I got a note like that. Seriously, don't do it.

Summer2011Bride · July 2013

Yeah definitely do not send this type of note.

You can certainly (and probably should) send a letter informing them of when this is happening and apologizing for any inconvenience. I would like a heads up if there would be an influx of people and cars in my neighborhood one day.

Absolutely DON'T ask them to be quiet so to not disturb YOU. That's messed up. YOU are inconveniencing THEM. I would not stop going about my everyday life of mowing, working in the yard, or taking my kids or dogs out in case I heaven forbid made some noise at my OWN house when you decided to have a wedding in a neighborhood.

Every venue has pros and cons and it's up to you to weigh them. A con of having it in the middle of a residential area is that residential noises come with it. So either be OK with them or have your ceremony elsewhere.

BMoreBride6 · July 2013

this has to be a joke...just wondering, do you have any strong feelings towards NY Strip vs. Filet?

If this isn't a joke...than no. That is horribly inappropriate and entitled of you to think you have ANY right to tell people what they can and cannot do in their own homes, especially when you are the one imposing on them. Would you have a wedding on a community beach and expect everyone to kindly stay away for the day? this is silly.

BMoreBride6 · July 2013

also...if I got said note, I would probably decide to schedule the digging and installation of that new pool I've been wanting for that day...

AddieCake · July 2013

A note telling people to keep it down would be very off-putting. It's going to come off like, "Hey, people, we're doing an important thing over here, so we're gonna need you to stay away and keep quiet inside your own homes so you don't bother us."

Like PP said, most people are going to see what's happening and be courteous on their own. Those who won't be courteous won't be with or without a note, so you're just going to antagonize those if you send a note. And while I would not go outside and deliberately make a bunch of noise, I certainly would not tell my children they couldn't go outside to play or something just so you wouldn't have to put up with my potentially "screaming child." The lawnmower concern/comment was one thing, but you truly should have left that out of your post b/c a note is not going to stop a screaming child and to think that you could makes you look silly.

You also have to realize other people have events, too. Perhaps a neighbor already has a BBQ or birthday party planned in their backyard as well. The world is not going to stop turning for your wedding.

kmmssg · July 2013

Summer2011Bride said:

Yeah definitely do not send this type of note.

You can certainly (and probably should) send a letter informing them of when this is happening and apologizing for any inconvenience. I would like a heads up if there would be an influx of people and cars in my neighborhood one day.

Absolutely DON'T ask them to be quiet so to not disturb YOU. That's messed up. YOU are inconveniencing THEM. I would not stop going about my everyday life of mowing, working in the yard, or taking my kids or dogs out in case I heaven forbid made some noise at my OWN house when you decided to have a wedding in a neighborhood.

Every venue has pros and cons and it's up to you to weigh them. A con of having it in the middle of a residential area is that residential noises come with it. So either be OK with them or have your ceremony elsewhere.

Cosigned by me.

You can't go into THEIR neighborhood and tell them to keep it down. YOU are choosing a neighborhood where people live their lives, mow their lawns, their kids play outside, and they BBQ. If you CHOOSE their neighborhood, you CHOOSE to accept those things going on.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

This can't be real. But if you don't want to worry about hearing kids running around or a person mowing their lawn, then DON'T HAVE IT NEXT TO SOMEONE'S HOUSE.

cmiles89 · July 2013

Ditto to all. You're the one choosing to have this event in a semi-residential area, you can't control what other people do. Even though it's inexpensive, maybe look elsewhere if people mowing their lawns would ruin your day (not saying they wouldn't dampen mine, but I probably wouldn't hold it where this was a concern). Trust me, a letter would come off very self-important and obnoxious, so just don't.

Simply Fated · July 2013

I understand your concerns. At my friend's backyard wedding, her neighbors to the back of them chose the exact moment of their vows to use the weed whacker. My friend even purposely held the ceremony during the hottest part of the day, assuming no one in their right mind would be doing lawn work then. Her neighbors are not in their right mind.

I think you're just going about it the wrong way. Instead of you asking them to keep the noise down, you should apologize for your potential noise. This way, they'll get the hint. You don't have to worry about people randomly coming over to see what the commotion is because they'll have received your letter. And people will be respectful, assuming they're not complete douches. But if you tell them to keep it down on their own property at a time when they're allowed to make noise, they'll absolutely rebel.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Simply Fated said:

I understand your concerns. At my friend's backyard wedding, her neighbors to the back of them chose the exact moment of their vows to use the weed whacker. My friend even purposely held the ceremony during the hottest part of the day, assuming no one in their right mind would be doing lawn work then. Her neighbors are not in their right mind.

I think you're just going about it the wrong way. Instead of you asking them to keep the noise down, you should apologize for your potential noise. This way, they'll get the hint. You don't have to worry about people randomly coming over to see what the commotion is because they'll have received your letter. And people will be respectful, assuming they're not complete douches. But if you tell them to keep it down on their own property at a time when they're allowed to make noise, they'll absolutely rebel.

Wait, your friend decided "Well it's way too damn hot to be doing yard work-- so let's make our ceremony that time! Then all of our guests can be disgusting, uncomfortable sweaty messes!" That sounds awful.

Jen4948 · July 2013

Simply Fated said:

I understand your concerns. At my friend's backyard wedding, her neighbors to the back of them chose the exact moment of their vows to use the weed whacker. My friend even purposely held the ceremony during the hottest part of the day, assuming no one in their right mind would be doing lawn work then. Her neighbors are not in their right mind.

I think you're just going about it the wrong way. Instead of you asking them to keep the noise down, you should apologize for your potential noise. This way, they'll get the hint. You don't have to worry about people randomly coming over to see what the commotion is because they'll have received your letter. And people will be respectful, assuming they're not complete douches. But if you tell them to keep it down on their own property at a time when they're allowed to make noise, they'll absolutely rebel.

How did your friend handle it when her neighbor did this?

Simply Fated · July 2013

@LMc0322 During that time of year, it's not like, scorching hot or anything. Sitting in the shade with a gentle breeze was not terrible at all. But I wouldn't be doing any lawn work at that particular time of day.
The ceremony was planned so we could have an early dinner as the reception. It wasn't planned around people's gardening times. That was just the added bonus... or what she thought would be an added bonus.

@Jen4948 She was totally classy and mature about it. We all just laughed it off and turned up the mic volume.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

@SimplyFated - Ah. This makes much more sense. Thanks for clarification. I am very touchy about weather this week, having just done our engagement pictures in the 90-degree heat. Barf. Sounds like your friend handled it perfectly. We need more brides like that. haha

NerdyLucy · July 2013

Simply Fated said:

I think you're just going about it the wrong way. Instead of you asking them to keep the noise down, you should apologize for your potential noise. This way, they'll get the hint. You don't have to worry about people randomly coming over to see what the commotion is because they'll have received your letter. And people will be respectful, assuming they're not complete douches. But if you tell them to keep it down on their own property at a time when they're allowed to make noise, they'll absolutely rebel.

Yes, this. It will still let everyone know what is going on without you coming across as a bossy intruder, and I think that they'll likely refrain from being noisy in their yards knowing that a wedding is going on.

Noisy Neighbors?

Re: Noisy Neighbors?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards