SO not Invited

ktbabe530 · July 2013

I was chatting with a close friend this weekend about my wedding and guest list. I told her since we are having a destination wedding we letting our single friends bring a guest. She then told me that her boyfriend has not been on the invitation to two weddings that she is invited to this summer. Her and her boyfriend have been together for almost two years and living together for about a year. I told her I thought it was pretty rude that her boyfriend wasn't invited, especially considering they live together!

She really ins't interesting in going by herself, what should my advice to her be, decline the invitations or ask if he can come?

Thanks!

CALEO · July 2013

Did she ask for advice? If not, I'd just let it go.

Angusaur · July 2013

It was incorrect for the two couples to not include her boyfriend. She should contact them and say that she noticed that her boyfriend's name was not included in the invitation and ask if she is able to bring him. If they say no, then she can decline.

monkeysip · July 2013

It is very rude for her friends not to invite her boyfriend (although I don't think it is "especially" so because they're living together. I don't think living together= more serious, and we don't need to judge the seriousness of our friends' significant others anyway)

Proper etiquette says she should just decline, since normally it is improper to ask the host/hostess something like that. HOWEVER, I would say if you're really close to the person, or if you have good reason to believe it was just an oversight, you could call and say, "I was so glad to receive your wedding invitation! Just to be clear, is Brian invited?" If you're close to this person, they would probably just say "Oh, I'm sorry I meant to invite him too" or whatever.

Again, that's not the most proper etiquette, but depending upon who it was, it would be understandable. Otherwise, your friend should just decline, especially if she doesn't really want to go anyway!

smalfrie19 · July 2013

It could have been an oversight. I would encourage her to call the hosts (ie bride and groom or the parents etc) and see if it was an oversight. If they site the "no ring not bring" shit, then I would encourage her to decline. If they state it was an oversight and of course he can come then she can accept if she is so inclined.

HisGirlFriday13 · July 2013

I'd call and ask. Depending on which side of the guest list your friend is on, she might have gotten bad info.

I.e., we initially didn't invite one of FI's relative's SO's because the parents don't approve of their son's GF. So when we got names and addresses, no one told us Cousin Bob was living with girlfriend Sally.

(The issue of FI inviting people he knows so little about he didn't know this is another whole issue).

Once Cousin Bob told us about it, we said of course Sally was invited and apologised profusely for the oversight.

I think it's better to ask than to assume it was a deliberate oversight. If you find out it WAS intentional, then I'd probably decline.

misssunshine17 · July 2013

I would call and ask, then decline on the phone if they say no. They can't expect you to be excited about their union if they're not respecting your own relationship.