Having a gap between wedding ceremony and reception

Rose2015 · July 2013

My fiance and I recently got engaged and are planning our wedding for next summer. We booked an 11 AM church service and we are planning on having an evening reception, probably 5 PM. This will be a 5 hour break. The reasoning?

-Our Catholic church only has an 11 AM service available on the date we want (need!) to get married. We are both medical students with absolutely no personal time off/vacation time. All students in our school get two weeks off in between 3rd and 4th year of medical school. The weekend we chose falls in the middle of our two week vacation.
-It is very important for us to get married in our own church! We attend our church every weekend and it has been a huge part of our relationship.
-Having a fun evening reception (ie: alcohol and dancing) is important to us.

Can we get away with a 5 hour break if:
1) 80-90% of our gets will be traveling from out of town anyway
2) We indicate on the invitation that it would be ok to attend the reception only
3) We live in a city with lots to do!
4) I compose a map of the area and lists of fun things to do for different age groups

Viczaesar · July 2013

Rose2015 said:

My fiance and I recently got engaged and are planning our wedding for next summer. We booked an 11 AM church service and we are planning on having an evening reception, probably 5 PM. This will be a 5 hour break. The reasoning?

-Our Catholic church only has an 11 AM service available on the date we want (need!) to get married. We are both medical students with absolutely no personal time off/vacation time. All students in our school get two weeks off in between 3rd and 4th year of medical school. The weekend we chose falls in the middle of our two week vacation.
-It is very important for us to get married in our own church! We attend our church every weekend and it has been a huge part of our relationship.
-Having a fun evening reception (ie: alcohol and dancing) is important to us.

Can we get away with a 5 hour break if:
1) 80-90% of our gets will be traveling from out of town anyway
2) We indicate on the invitation that it would be ok to attend the reception only
3) We live in a city with lots to do!
4) I compose a map of the area and lists of fun things to do for different age groups

Gaps are not okay. You should have a reception starting at noon if your ceremony time is 11 am.

ShesSoCold · July 2013

Viczaesar said:

Rose2015 said:

My fiance and I recently got engaged and are planning our wedding for next summer. We booked an 11 AM church service and we are planning on having an evening reception, probably 5 PM. This will be a 5 hour break. The reasoning?

-Our Catholic church only has an 11 AM service available on the date we want (need!) to get married. We are both medical students with absolutely no personal time off/vacation time. All students in our school get two weeks off in between 3rd and 4th year of medical school. The weekend we chose falls in the middle of our two week vacation.
-It is very important for us to get married in our own church! We attend our church every weekend and it has been a huge part of our relationship.
-Having a fun evening reception (ie: alcohol and dancing) is important to us.

Can we get away with a 5 hour break if:
1) 80-90% of our gets will be traveling from out of town anyway
2) We indicate on the invitation that it would be ok to attend the reception only
3) We live in a city with lots to do!
4) I compose a map of the area and lists of fun things to do for different age groups

Gaps are not okay. You should have a reception starting at noon if your ceremony time is 11 am.

This. You've gotta change something. Gaps are not okay and are always annoying to guests. I've been to a few weddings with gaps and a lot of people spend the gap and the reception talking about how annoying it is. And I've found people will leave the reception earlier because they had been wasting time and doing wedding-related things since like 10 am. If you NEED that date and you NEED that church, then you will also NEED to have an earlier reception. Maybe have a lunch reception and then have an informal after-party later in the evening.

QueerFemme · July 2013

No. your plan is ridiculously rude. Gaps are not ok. You can certainly have an 11am ceremony. But, then you'll need to have a brunch reception, instead of an evening reception.

If you NEED that church and that date, then you have to compromise somewhere else. That means, change your reception to an earlier time of day.

You should not expect your guests to devote 12+ hours to your wedding. Asking them to attend a morning wedding sevice and then an evening reception is exhausting and just downright rude.

I get that the church is important, the dancing is important, the drinking is important, etc. But, you are going to have to figure out which of those things is the priority and plan accordingly.

Rose2015 · July 2013

Thanks @ShesSoCold. I like your idea of an informal after-party

I need to work on some problem solving ideas here!

QueerFemme · July 2013

Rose2015 said:

Thanks @ShesSoCold. I like your idea of an informal after-party I need to work on some problem solving ideas here!

The afterparty really is a great idea. For example purposes, I'm going to assume your ceremony will be one hour. Consider this timeline:

11am ceremony

12pm - end of ceremony

12:15 - "cocktail" hour. (Serve various mimosa flavors and bloody marys and appetizers)

1:00-1:15ish. Lunch, dancing, drinks.

Reception ends around 4-5pm

announce sometime around 3:30pmish, that the "Happy couple will be at "X bar at approximately 8pm for anyone that wants to join them to continue the party!"

8:00pm. Gives you time to go back to your hotel, freshen up, even change into a fun reception/party dress and hit the bar!

ShesSoCold · July 2013

QueerFemme said:

Rose2015 said:

Thanks @ShesSoCold. I like your idea of an informal after-party I need to work on some problem solving ideas here!

The afterparty really is a great idea. For example purposes, I'm going to assume your ceremony will be one hour. Consider this timeline:

11am ceremony

12pm - end of ceremony

12:15 - "cocktail" hour. (Serve various mimosa flavors and bloody marys and appetizers)

1:00-1:15ish. Lunch, dancing, drinks.

Reception ends around 4-5pm

announce sometime around 3:30pmish, that the "Happy couple will be at "X bar at approximately 8pm for anyone that wants to join them to continue the party!"

8:00pm. Gives you time to go back to your hotel, freshen up, even change into a fun reception/party dress and hit the bar!

And then you even save some money with a brunch reception and people will probably drink less.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

QueerFemme said:

Rose2015 said:

Thanks @ShesSoCold. I like your idea of an informal after-party I need to work on some problem solving ideas here!

The afterparty really is a great idea. For example purposes, I'm going to assume your ceremony will be one hour. Consider this timeline:

11am ceremony

12pm - end of ceremony

12:15 - "cocktail" hour. (Serve various mimosa flavors and bloody marys and appetizers)

1:00-1:15ish. Lunch, dancing, drinks.

Reception ends around 4-5pm

announce sometime around 3:30pmish, that the "Happy couple will be at "X bar at approximately 8pm for anyone that wants to join them to continue the party!"

8:00pm. Gives you time to go back to your hotel, freshen up, even change into a fun reception/party dress and hit the bar!

Woohoo! Crisis averted! Sounds like a much better plan!

daria24 · July 2013

I've been to a lot of Catholic weddings at 10/11am followed by a lunch reception. They all still had a plated meal, DJ/dancing, open bar etc. Guests actually seemed to enjoy it more than an evening reception, because they could be home at a reasonable hour, or those that wanted to continue the party could head to a bar and going, usually in more comfortable clothes.

QueerFemme · July 2013

StageManager14 said:

Rose2015 said:

Thanks @ShesSoCold. I like your idea of an informal after-party I need to work on some problem solving ideas here!

The afterparty really is a great idea. For example purposes, I'm going to assume your ceremony will be one hour. Consider this timeline:

11am ceremony

12pm - end of ceremony

12:15 - "cocktail" hour. (Serve various mimosa flavors and bloody marys and appetizers)

1:00-1:15ish. Lunch, dancing, drinks.

Reception ends around 4-5pm

announce sometime around 3:30pmish, that the "Happy couple will be at "X bar at approximately 8pm for anyone that wants to join them to continue the party!"

8:00pm. Gives you time to go back to your hotel, freshen up, even change into a fun reception/party dress and hit the bar!
I swear if I wasn't straight, and pretty sure your wife could take me in a fight, I would so be marrying you.

@stagemanager14

I am 100% positive you could take G in a fight. I married a softie.

MandyMost · July 2013

NiTro1110 said:

QueerFemme said:

Rose2015 said:

Thanks @ShesSoCold. I like your idea of an informal after-party I need to work on some problem solving ideas here!

The afterparty really is a great idea. For example purposes, I'm going to assume your ceremony will be one hour. Consider this timeline:

11am ceremony

12pm - end of ceremony

12:15 - "cocktail" hour. (Serve various mimosa flavors and bloody marys and appetizers)

1:00-1:15ish. Lunch, dancing, drinks.

Reception ends around 4-5pm

announce sometime around 3:30pmish, that the "Happy couple will be at "X bar at approximately 8pm for anyone that wants to join them to continue the party!"

8:00pm. Gives you time to go back to your hotel, freshen up, even change into a fun reception/party dress and hit the bar!

Woohoo! Crisis averted! Sounds like a much better plan!

This is a great plan. It even leaves enough time between 5 and 8pm for people to go out to dinner on their own if they don't want to go rest at their hotel.

Also, whenever I watch those bride TV shows, I always think it's ridiculous when a bride buys 2 full wedding dresses....but with this plan, I think you have a great reasoning to buy a sassy little white dress to wear in the evening, that's much more comfortable and easy to dance in than you wedding dress.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Everyone else gave amazing ideas, rendering me completely useless in this situation. So I'm just here to say I'm glad you're open to this idea. EVERYONE loves brunch food, and then you'll have the chance to have a fun (and more relaxed!) party later. Sounds like a super kick ass day.

ceceibson · July 2013

My first wedding was a nuptial Mass at noon, following by a very fancy [because my mother planned it all] reception at a private club. Open bar, tons of food, band, all the trimmings. It was a great reception. Too bad my husband was already dating the woman he left me for.

Last summer, I was invited to a Catholic wedding and the bride later asked me to sing. I attended the rehearsal the night before, then got there early the day of to rehearse, then the wedding. Then I looked at the invitation to see where the reception was, only to discovery it wasn't starting for another 4 hours.

I went home, then to the reception. When I got there, the entire wedding party and their friends were drunk, drunk, drunk. They had been partying all afternoon somewhere. The rest of us were welcomed with a cash bar.

I left.

BMoreBride6 · July 2013

ceceibson said:

My first wedding was a nuptial Mass at noon, following by a very fancy [because my mother planned it all] reception at a private club. Open bar, tons of food, band, all the trimmings. It was a great reception. Too bad my husband was already dating the woman he left me for.

Last summer, I was invited to a Catholic wedding and the bride later asked me to sing. I attended the rehearsal the night before, then got there early the day of to rehearse, then the wedding. Then I looked at the invitation to see where the reception was, only to discovery it wasn't starting for another 4 hours.

I went home, then to the reception. When I got there, the entire wedding party and their friends were drunk, drunk, drunk. They had been partying all afternoon somewhere. The rest of us were welcomed with a cash bar.

I left.

There are so many sad things about this that I can't even start!

[Deleted User] · July 2013

ceceibson said:

My first wedding was a nuptial Mass at noon, following by a very fancy [because my mother planned it all] reception at a private club. Open bar, tons of food, band, all the trimmings. It was a great reception. Too bad my husband was already dating the woman he left me for.

Last summer, I was invited to a Catholic wedding and the bride later asked me to sing. I attended the rehearsal the night before, then got there early the day of to rehearse, then the wedding. Then I looked at the invitation to see where the reception was, only to discovery it wasn't starting for another 4 hours.

I went home, then to the reception. When I got there, the entire wedding party and their friends were drunk, drunk, drunk. They had been partying all afternoon somewhere. The rest of us were welcomed with a cash bar.

I left.

Your ex husband sounds like a real twat. I hope his penis falls off. This is a completely appropriate response.

southernbelle0915 · July 2013

I have never heard such an awesome gap crisis averted. OP - this is your one way ticket to star alignment... You get your church, your needed date, a cheaper reception (lunch vs. dinner), a costume change (hopefully something fabulous), and a really unique, fun night out with friends.

I hope this gets suggested every time someone proposes a gap.

Pepper6 · July 2013

QueerFemme said:

Rose2015 said:

Thanks @ShesSoCold. I like your idea of an informal after-party I need to work on some problem solving ideas here!

The afterparty really is a great idea. For example purposes, I'm going to assume your ceremony will be one hour. Consider this timeline:

11am ceremony

12pm - end of ceremony

12:15 - "cocktail" hour. (Serve various mimosa flavors and bloody marys and appetizers)

1:00-1:15ish. Lunch, dancing, drinks.

Reception ends around 4-5pm

announce sometime around 3:30pmish, that the "Happy couple will be at "X bar at approximately 8pm for anyone that wants to join them to continue the party!"

8:00pm. Gives you time to go back to your hotel, freshen up, even change into a fun reception/party dress and hit the bar!

This is PERFECT! And it's exactly why I think gaps are so rude because this is an awesome timeline for an early wedding, so anything other than that is a choice to be flat out rude and inconsiderate to your guests.

wrigleyville · July 2013

I LOVE brunch. I would be so happy if more people had brunch receptions. I get why some people don't, but man... brunch is where it's at.

Plus, I love the idea of having an after-party.

WinstonsGirl · July 2013

I attended a brunch wedding. We had mimosas for about 30 min while they did photos, they we had brunch. Eggs, bacon, etc. It was yummy. They did speeches, bouquet toss, etc. then everyone left and they went to do photos. His Mom hosted an after party - catered BBQ and beer in her backyard, with homemade salads and sides from the parents. Bride was in jeans and a shirt and we all had an amazing time.

I also had an after party, since we lost our venue at 9pm due to it being outside at a hotel. They had noise rules in place. We went for karaoke at the hotel restaurant and I partied down in my dress. It was super fun. I really like the after party suggestion

monkeysip · July 2013

Wow... now I'm kind of wishing this is what we had done! QF's plan sounds awesome!

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Well dangit now I'm trying to figure out how to talk my FI into having an noon wedding...

Having a gap between wedding ceremony and reception

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