Hi all, curious about your take on my friend's upcoming wedding. I am early 30s, single, and actively dating. She invited me to her wedding without a guest. I will only know couples there. She asked me which of two awful seating arrangements I prefer:
a.) Be 9th wheel at a table of couples, some of whom I know
b.) Sit at a table a mix of singles and couples, none of whom I know
This really makes me unexcited for this night. If she's having so much trouble deciding where to seat me, why couldn't she have allowed me to bring a guest?
Re: No guest, unfortunate seating arrangement
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If you don't have anyone you consider to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, she's actually not required to give you a guest. Yes, it's a very considerate gesture, but not required. Some people try to squeeze in as many people as they can into their budgets - meaning plus one's often get the first cut.
At least she's asking you about your preference (she doesn't have to do that either) - if I were you, I'd sit with the people I know.
If you accept the invitation, you'll have to do so knowing you can't bring a date. You don't have to accept it; declining is a valid option. If you do accept it, I'd sit with the people you know. It's only for the meal; you can get up, move around, and talk to other people whom you know. Even if you had the option to bring a date, you wouldn't be required to spend all your time talking to and dancing only with him.
Unless there's more to the story you're not sharing, I think you're overreacting big time. Pick the option you'd prefer or decline.
One, she hasn't done anything wrong.
Two, she is being very nice and accommodating to you by giving you a preference on who you want to sit with.
And she is in no way being a bridezilla.
If you don't want to go to her wedding by yourself then simply decline the invitation. If you don't want to miss her wedding since she is your friend then pick to sit with the people you know and get over the fact that you weren't invited with a plus one.
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FWIW, I've never...not even once...been asked by the bride where I'd like to sit at a wedding. Your friend is being super considerate.
There's definitely been a few times I would've much preferred to pick my own seat...that's for sure.
It's really nice when the couple give plus-ones to truly single guests... but it's also really nice when the couple gets to invite some more of their extended family, or perhaps host nicer alcohol or food options to their guests because they aren't paying for people they don't know when they are not bound by the rules of etiquette to invite them.
That's the choice the hosts sometimes has to make:
Let singles bring random dates
or
Inviting more people the couple is actually close to and/or hosting a nicer wedding.
There are very valid reasons for making either of those decisions. In the end it's up to the hosts and neither decision is wrong or bridezillaish.