Wedding party/Children's Roles

Re: Wedding party/Children's Roles

• Chelsea8888 member

  

  July 2013

  First, thank you for your response. It is so helpful for me to receive outside advice, and you really helped me decide that this is what I want. I will have three bridesmaids and two junior bridesmaids. I like the "junior" title since I always considered bridesmaids to be of marrying age. My family and I find it more appropriate in this situation.
  
  Second, I just want to be clear that I'm not giving anyone work. If the two eldest boys don't want to do anything but sit there and play video games at my wedding, that's fine... as long as the volume is WAY down. I just want them to have a way to feel included if they so choose. In fact, if no one wants to be a part of our ceremony, I understand. My intention isn't to give anyone a job in order to feel special. They already are; that's why my wish is for them to be more than just a guest at my wedding.
  
  
  

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• artbyallie mod

  

  July 2013

  You might like the junior title, but I seriously doubt the kids will. There is no minimum age to be a bridesmaid or groomsman.

  

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• itzMS member

  

  July 2013

   

  cdl088 said:

  First, thank you for your response. It is so helpful for me to receive outside advice, and you really helped me decide that this is what I want. I will have three bridesmaids and two junior bridesmaids. I like the "junior" title since I always considered bridesmaids to be of marrying age. My family and I find it more appropriate in this situation.
  
  Second, I just want to be clear that I'm not giving anyone work. If the two eldest boys don't want to do anything but sit there and play video games at my wedding, that's fine... as long as the volume is WAY down. I just want them to have a way to feel included if they so choose. In fact, if no one wants to be a part of our ceremony, I understand. My intention isn't to give anyone a job in order to feel special. They already are; that's why my wish is for them to be more than just a guest at my wedding.
  
  
  

  What?!

  I was a Maid of Honor once at 17. Ooops. Guess I should have been Junior Maid of Honor?!

  Your logic makes no sense.

  Ask her to be a bridesmaid, if you want. She can wear an age-appropriate dress, but she certainly shouldn't be deemed "Junior". I have three nieces between 10-13, so I speak from experience. They would all hate to be called "junior bridesmaid".
  

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• Chelsea8888 member

  

  July 2013

  Wow! I'm sensing hostility. Where do I begin?
  
  First, I'd like to point out that this question was more about if the 9 year old should be a (junior) bridesmaid vs. a second flower girl and less about about what you all thought of the title of Junior Bridesmaid, but thanks for all of your opinions on that one.
  
  I don't think there should be a minimum age for bridesmaids and groomsmen. I feel you should do what you want, within reason, for your own wedding. In fact, if you'd like your newborn to be the Maid of Honor, go for it. It's your day. So, there's that.
  
  Also, because I always considered bridesmaids to be of marrying age and junior bridesmaids a bit younger, doesn't mean I think everyone should. That's just the way things have been done in my family. It's not law. It's what I am used to. I was referring to my own personal thoughts for my own wedding. I'm sorry if that statement was taken as a generalization to be applied to all weddings. It was not meant that way. The only reason I made that comment was to give a reason for my using the junior title at all, as it was suggested that I drop it in the first reply... and several others to follow. Again, thank you for your opinions.
  
  If anyone is unhappy with their title (they're just words after all) then they don't need to agree to be a part of the wedding. These two aren't even teenagers yet; heck, they haven't even had their first visit from Aunt Flow yet, but I can say they are mature enough not to "hate" the title of junior bridesmaid.
  
  Also, I don't have to include anyone either. If you'll notice, I mentioned wanting all of them to be a part of this. So, I'm not really sure why that comment was made, but once again, thanks for that additional piece of info.
  
  Lastly, I'd just like to say that I'm very surprised by the snarkiness of some of these comments. I've been a lurker on TK for sometime, and I never expected my first question to be met with such snippety responses.
  
  Of course, if something I said offended any of you, I absolutely apologize. It was not my intention.
  

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• artbyallie mod

  

  July 2013

  Honey, if you really think anyone was snarky or 'snippety' on this thread, I think perhaps a different wedding forum may suit your delicate sensibilities better.

  

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• Dreamergirl8812 member

  

  July 2013

  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  

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• Chelsea8888 member

  

  July 2013

  AND point proven.

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• zitiqueen member

  

  July 2013

  cdl088 said:

  Hey y'all,
  
  I'm so happy to be engaged, but we really don't know what to do here. We agree that we don't need uniformity on his and my side, but there are just too many cute kiddos to go around.
  
  So far we have:
  My side:
       MOH: Old High School BF (25 years old)
       BM: Old High School BF(25 years old)
       BM: College BF (26 years old)
  His side:
       BM: BF (26)

       GM: Old High School BF (27)
       GM: College Buddy (26)
       Groomsmaid?: His sister (28)
  
  I like the above list. Fiance was on his sister's side in her wedding and it was a hit. He thinks it'd be really special for her to be on his side, and I'm cool with that. The problem is we have the following kids in our lives that mean the world to us and we just don't know what to do with them:
       1 female cousin on my mom's side (age 11)
       1 male cousin on my mom's side (age 13)
       2 female cousins on my dad's side (ages 9 & 7)
       1 male cousin on my dad's side (age 11)
       1 male cousin on his mom's side (age 7)
  
  We've had it in our heads that the 7 year old boy would be the ring bearer, the 11 year old girl would be a junior bridesmaid, the 13 and 11 year old boys are probably not eager to be a part of the ceremony so they can help usher and pass out programs. I have two lovely young ladies remaining. They are sisters. The 7 year old would make a wonderful flower girl, but I don't know what to do with her older sister. I'm closer with the eldest sister. She is sensitive and easily gets her feelings hurt. I think she'd want something more special than to be a second flower girl with her sister. I want her to have a very special role in our wedding. Any thoughts? Should I also make her a junior bridesmaid? The two junior bridesmaids could walk down the aisle with his sister. I can hear my mother having a fit over it now.

  
  

  Edited: general errors 
  
  

  
  

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• zitiqueen member

  

  July 2013

  cdl088 said:

  First, thank you for your response. It is so helpful for me to receive outside advice, and you really helped me decide that this is what I want. I will have three bridesmaids and two junior bridesmaids. I like the "junior" title since I always considered bridesmaids to be of marrying age. My family and I find it more appropriate in this situation.
  
  Second, I just want to be clear that I'm not giving anyone work. If the two eldest boys don't want to do anything but sit there and play video games at my wedding, that's fine... as long as the volume is WAY down. I just want them to have a way to feel included if they so choose. In fact, if no one wants to be a part of our ceremony, I understand. My intention isn't to give anyone a job in order to feel special. They already are; that's why my wish is for them to be more than just a guest at my wedding.
  
  
  

  
  So will you be referring to the nubile bridesmaids as "senior bridesmaids" so as to distinguish them from the jail bait?

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• zitiqueen member

  

  July 2013 edited July 2013

  cdl088 said:

  Wow! I'm sensing hostility. Where do I begin?
  
  First, I'd like to point out that this question was more about if the 9 year old should be a (junior) bridesmaid vs. a second flower girl and less about about what you all thought of the title of Junior Bridesmaid, but thanks for all of your opinions on that one.
  
  I don't think there should be a minimum age for bridesmaids and groomsmen. I feel you should do what you want, within reason, for your own wedding. In fact, if you'd like your newborn to be the Maid of Honor, go for it. It's your day. So, there's that.
  
  Also, because I always considered bridesmaids to be of marrying age and junior bridesmaids a bit younger, doesn't mean I think everyone should. That's just the way things have been done in my family. It's not law. It's what I am used to. I was referring to my own personal thoughts for my own wedding. I'm sorry if that statement was taken as a generalization to be applied to all weddings. It was not meant that way. The only reason I made that comment was to give a reason for my using the junior title at all, as it was suggested that I drop it in the first reply... and several others to follow. Again, thank you for your opinions.
  
  If anyone is unhappy with their title (they're just words after all) then they don't need to agree to be a part of the wedding. These two aren't even teenagers yet; heck, they haven't even had their first visit from Aunt Flow yet, but I can say they are mature enough not to "hate" the title of junior bridesmaid.
  
  Also, I don't have to include anyone either. If you'll notice, I mentioned wanting all of them to be a part of this. So, I'm not really sure why that comment was made, but once again, thanks for that additional piece of info.
  
  Lastly, I'd just like to say that I'm very surprised by the snarkiness of some of these comments. I've been a lurker on TK for sometime, and I never expected my first question to be met with such snippety responses.
  
  Of course, if something I said offended any of you, I absolutely apologize. It was not my intention.
  

  Welcome to public message boards. You put it out there, people are allowed to comment on it. If you've truly lurked on TK, you wouldn't be crying foul. You'd know there is no smoke-blowing and hair-patting and you-do-what-you-want-it's-YOUR-DAY nonsense here.

  Nice non-apology at the end.
  

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• Davindane89 member

  

  July 2013

  I love the idea of a doing a family vow after you and your fiancee do your vows to each other. Also for the girls a necklace or bracelet to signify the day is a nice idea.
  
  We had a similar issue in my sisters wedding. We had a two year old and a one year old. We solve the issue buy having the flower girls and the ring bearer pull a wagon with the smaller children in it. It was very cute. We covered the wagon with white material and some bows.

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