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Wedding Etiquette Forum

MOH speech - rehearsal dinner or reception?

My sister just called bc FI's best man had reached out to the wedding party to see who else wants to give toasts at the RD. Sister saw she was listed, and said she thought she was speaking at the reception. I haven't given it too much thought, but considering she still hasn't booked her travel and the wedding is two weeks away, right now she is causing me stress and not alleviating it! It's a formal reception, and we were going to keep toasts on the smaller side - my father, FI and his best man. Even his best man might only do the RD. Thoughts on MOH speeches at receptions??

Re: MOH speech - rehearsal dinner or reception?

  • We're allowing anyone who would like to speak to do so at the rehearsal dinner. The only toasts at the reception will be my dad, the best man, maid of honor, and matron of honor.
  • I'd have the best man and maid of honor toast at the same event, assuming they both want to give a toast.
  • rkborkbo member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I asked my BM if she wanted to give a speech, she said yes, done and done. Not sure if my fiance's BM would like to. I suppose I should tell her to ask her BM. ha
  • It's a toast - not a speech. I think people confuse these concepts and make what's supposed to be a short, well-wishes toast into a soliloquy from the moment the friend met the bride/groom until that moment. It often includes inside jokes that are boring for everyone else and reading from a sheet of paper or smart phone. boring. Sorry, vent over.
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  • I was just at a wedding/reception this weekend where every BM gave a toast and the GMs gave a group toast that was highly entertaining. Nothing from the parents or whatever, which I found strange. I suppose they must have done it at the RD.

    In any case, I think you can do it however you want. My impression is that the RD is more or less an open forum for close family members to express well-wishes, while the reception should be more limited. You're being smart about setting who will speak at which event. What you probably don't want to do at the reception is open it up to anyone who wants the mic. That tends to go two ways: either you can't pry the mic away after ten minutes of rambling, or no one wants to say anything and it gets awkward.
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