How did you know you were ready to be a parent?

NOLABridesmaid · July 2013

Was it because you were married and it was the next expected thing to do?

Baby fever?

It was an oops and you just rolled with it?

Just wondering.....

AuntFlo · July 2013

Baby fever. Everyone around us was having one and we felt it was the right time for us. Plus, we had no idea how long it would take me to get (and stay) knocked up so we thought we should start trying.

I have baby fever something bad right now. I'm trying to keep it at bay.

NOLABridesmaid · July 2013

I live in a state of baby fever. Hee.

PirateBarbie · July 2013

i don't know that anyone is really "ready" - I knew that DK wanted kids when we got married. I was open to the idea of one kid, maybe 2 if the first pregnancy wasn't too bad or twins (and i didn't have a choice).

we were both waiting until we felt financially stable, and were in a good place for it.

i was surprised how quickly i got KU - I was really thinking and hoping it would take a bit longer because of the upcoming move to TX.

after the first pregnancy, I'm not really feeling going through that again. DK still wants to go for #2. I'd be fine with one and done - I think we got lucky with Wolverine. She's an awesome little girl.

DixieNormous330 · July 2013

Total baby fever for both of us. A lot of people around us were starting their families and H is the oldest so he was getting pressure from his parents. We also were thinking we were going to have problems getting KU (I have cystic ovaries without having PCOS and weird cycles).

we're both getting the fever again for #2. We always wanted more than 1, we think a sibling would be really good for DD's development, and in a totally selfish frame of mine - want what we can't have with DD.

PMeg819 · July 2013

DS was probably 85% baby fever and 15% I thought we were ready. With #2 I agonized about it for about a year before we TTC- researched the hell out of adoption, considered stopping with just DS, considered everything I could think of. DH was on the fence on having a second- but once I sort of got myself figured out and we talked he was more than ready. This time around I'd say it was 85% we were ready and15% baby fever. That being said, I do have moments where I think "WTF- I can't do this, is it too late to change my mind??"

alikatt17 · July 2013

I had baby fever for years. We put it off a couple of times and finally decided to go for it last summer with TTC starting in December, thinking it'd take a while with my PCOS diagnosis, but it didn't.

tawillers · July 2013

My situation is a little different - I was 22 when DH and I moved into our own place together, but it just felt normal to have Son as my child. I don't know how to explain it. It was just natural for me to mother him. He was a toddler when I met him.

I had baby fever from that point on, but knew I wanted to wait until we were married and a little older (we go married 2 years after we moved in together). DH wanted to TTC about 6 months before the wedding, so he had it too. But we waited and conceived the month after our wedding.

Oface4eva · July 2013

I'm still waiting for this fever.

It has yet to arrive.

hmonkey · July 2013

neither dh nor i had baby fever, but we both knew we wanted a kid. we worked out a timeline with work and grad school, and then saved money for about a year (cost of daycare, increased savings, etc.). i didn't want to have a baby while i was in school, but i was running out of time because i am old. i was okay with being pregnant while in school, so we just worked from there.

honestly, i wasn't 100% on the kid, but i didn't think i would get a kid like baby mo. he's such a great little guy.

we were thinking of two kids, but now we are done. when we thought about a second kid, we only think about the kid in terms of baby mo: "it would be nice if he had a brother or sister." but we don't think about a second kid by himself/herself, as a separate person.

VarunaTT · July 2013

We had fever once. It quickly dissipated when we listed all the reasons we shouldn't have kids that are not outweighed by, "But we want one". Haven't had to revisit since.

dharmabunny · July 2013

*Shrug*

I don't think there was any extreme baby fever involved or excessive life planning. Kiddos were never expressly out of the picture. things in life were reasonably stable and both of us were amenable to the idea at the same time.

Neither one of us were spring chickens either, so any fence sitting was kicked over towards, "just give it a go, we'll manage somehow".

That anticlimactic.

NOLABridesmaid · July 2013

Y'all know I'm in the mid-life stage, and just doing a lot of thinking. Thinking...thinking.

Man, I miss the days when you didn't have to think.

6fsn · July 2013

Practicality won out I guess. I was 30 when we got married and we had good jobs so had the financials in order. It took longer than expected for 6let. We wanted two and I wasn't getting younger so we were hoping for them close together. After 2 years I'd given up.

Y'all know the story of Max. Someone here had a friend that said they had a baby "they never knew they always wanted." That's my Max.

VarunaTT · July 2013

NOLA, I think if you want a baby, you should go get one. However you need to.

Wait, not that I think you need this warning, but not the illegal way, no baby 'napping!

NOLABridesmaid · July 2013

Girl, don't think I haven't thought about putting a flyer up at one of the local high schools. You know there are at least 20 knocked up 16 year olds walking around at any given time.

gpeeples · July 2013

Both H and I want children, but I'm not sure if either of us will actually ever be "ready." I'm not really the baby fever type. I don't find myself drawn to babies/young children when I see them in public. I absolutely love my nephew, and he's about the only baby I find cute, but I feel absolutely exhausted after watching him for a few hours. I'm 25, and I don't want children yet, but DH and I decided sometime next year we'll consider if I should stop taking birth control.

dcantral · July 2013

We both wanted kids, but wanted to wait at least a year after we were married. Well big surprise, I got pregnant! Welcoming our daughter into the world was the happiest day of my life. You are never ready for kids, but once they come you figure things out real quick. When my little princess was about 4 month we found out we are pregnant AGAIN. Our wedding is next month, we have a 9 month old and I'm 5 months pregnant. It's definitely not the way either of us planned it but I wouldn't change a thing. Now both of my girls get to be at the wedding

mrsconn23 · July 2013

Well, we have the kiddo.

We both knew we wanted more than one kid, but we didn't know when. We both wanted to wait until we'd been married for more than a year. After year 2, I was ready and DH was not. I went off BC about a year before we even started actively trying to get KU'd.

DH decided in spring 2010 that he was on board with going for it. DefConn was on his way just 2 months later.

Funny aside; DH always said he wanted 3 kids and I was quite ambivalent about it. I was all about "one and done".

Two weeks after we had DefConn, I was ready to have another kid. DH was not, and has not been, interested in a third child.

The further we get away from DefConn being a baby, the more I'm good with what we have.

hmonkey · July 2013

dcantral said:

We both wanted kids, but wanted to wait at least a year after we were married. Well big surprise, I got pregnant! Welcoming our daughter into the world was the happiest day of my life. You are never ready for kids, but once they come you figure things out real quick. When my little princess was about 4 month we found out we are pregnant AGAIN. Our wedding is next month, we have a 9 month old and I'm 5 months pregnant. It's definitely not the way either of us planned it but I wouldn't change a thing. Now both of my girls get to be at the wedding

ready to be a parent =/= not using birth control.

ChiGirl2013 · July 2013

No birth control is 100% effective, except for abstinence. Case in point - us having a 5 year old daughter as our flower girl on our wedding day. I always expected to be married before having children but when we had our "oops" we were both in our early 30's with college degrees, stable careers, and it wasn't the end of the world. I agree - even if you plan your family, you'll never be ready. You'll always be nervous about something. Even now, with dd going into 1st grade, I still feel like I am clueless about parenting some days. You roll with it. You do the best you can with what you have. Love the child, protect the child like a rabid mother bear, and give the child necessities like food, shelter, clothing and education. Spoil the child occasionally, but know how to say no so they don't turn into a rotten brat. There is no instruction book - do what you feel in your heart is best. Look at people you feel are great parents and ask them for advice. Look at people you feel are horrible parents and promise yourself you will never be like that. That's about as "ready" as you can get.

And no, I don't regret having dd at all. She is the light of my life and I can't imagine my world without her. We're contemplating adding #2 via adoption and no - I don't feel I'm any more ready now than I was the first time but I know we can provide the love, the necessities, the stability, and the joyful environment. I know there will be surprises and bumps along the way and there's no way to prepare for those so we'll never be 100% ready, but we won't be unprepared, either.

hmonkey · July 2013

ChiGirl2013 said:

No birth control is 100% effective, except for abstinence. Case in point - us having a 5 year old daughter as our flower girl on our wedding day. I always expected to be married before having children but when we had our "oops" we were both in our early 30's with college degrees, stable careers, and it wasn't the end of the world. I agree - even if you plan your family, you'll never be ready. You'll always be nervous about something. Even now, with dd going into 1st grade, I still feel like I am clueless about parenting some days. You roll with it. You do the best you can with what you have. Love the child, protect the child like a rabid mother bear, and give the child necessities like food, shelter, clothing and education. Spoil the child occasionally, but know how to say no so they don't turn into a rotten brat. There is no instruction book - do what you feel in your heart is best. Look at people you feel are great parents and ask them for advice. Look at people you feel are horrible parents and promise yourself you will never be like that. That's about as "ready" as you can get.

And no, I don't regret having dd at all. She is the light of my life and I can't imagine my world without her. We're contemplating adding #2 via adoption and no - I don't feel I'm any more ready now than I was the first time but I know we can provide the love, the necessities, the stability, and the joyful environment. I know there will be surprises and bumps along the way and there's no way to prepare for those so we'll never be 100% ready, but we won't be unprepared, either.

after reading this, i feel like i just joined pinterest.

PirateBarbie · July 2013

ChiGirl2013 said:

Love the child, protect the child like a rabid mother bear, and give the child necessities like food, shelter, clothing and education.

actually, i think the rabid mother bear would be more likely to try and eat her own cub.

How did you know you were ready to be a parent?

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