Speeches / Toasts

caraellen23 · July 2010

Hi ladies,

How many speeches did/will you have at your wedding? How many people spoke at your dinner/rehearsal dinner? What did you do if you had two MOHs (one maid, one matron, etc.)

Thanks!

LaRositaMonita · July 2010

DH and I said a quick little something at the rehearsal dinner before we gave out gifts. My mom actually said a few words there, too, because moms don't usually say things at weddings but she asked me if she could say something and I couldn't really tell her no.

My dad welcomed everyone to the reception (and got my brothers in on the act) and then we had a joint toast from my two MOHs and the final toast from the best man. I was a little worried about it being too toast-tastic, but it worked out great. Pics in bio.

QTsgirl522 · July 2010

DH and I also said a few words at the rehearsal.

We had 2 best men (dh's brothers) so they did the speak together. My dad said a few words and my sister gave the MOH speech so total 3 at the reception.

If your to MOH's are close, would they want to do a combined speech? Otherwise they can each do a shortened speech.

PharmJen · July 2010

We spoke at our rehearsal dinner before giving gifts out and my MIL said a few words as well right before we ate, since she hosted.

We had one toast, given by one of our groomsman that we are closest to and who is the most eloquent friend we know = ) We had one MOH and one BM so we were a little unconventional in how we did things since they didn't speak.

Stacylynn702 · July 2010

My cousin got married last weekend and 2 of my other cousins were both MOHs. They did a joint speech. It was cute and I think it took pressure off the both of them.

miguelhilary2010 · July 2010

FI and I will say something short and sweet at the rehearsal. For the reception we are planning the following; FOB thanks/welcome speech, FOG speech (he wants to do one, we're not going to say no), MOH toast, BM toast, blessing by pastor.

ooodsie · July 2010

We said a little something at the RD before giving out the gifts. MIL hosted but didnt give a speech.

At the reception, our best man toasted, and I found out literally on the ride to the church that my MOH was not comfortable speaking in public and didn't want to do her toast.. so another BM stepped up and said she'd give one and wrote it in about 2 hours.

Also at the reception my mom asked if she could say a few words, since she paid for a good chunk of it.. so they had her say a few words and then announce the father/daughter dance so that it flowed well.

caraellen23 · July 2010

I'm having a bridezilla moment. FI wants his BM to speak, as well as his sister. I want my MOH to speak. But if FI's sister is speaking, then I feel like my sister (another MOH) will be slighted. I do not want FOUR speeches (along with a welcome toast by my father). Is that bad?

LaRositaMonita · July 2010

Can any of the speeches be combined, like PPs suggested? Like I said above, my two MoHs did a toast jointly, although they were both my best friends from high school, so it made a lot of logical sense. I'm trying to grasp the whole situation - are your two MoHs your future-SIL and your own sister, or do you have two MoHs, not including your fiance's sister? I agree that separate speeched by two maids of honor, your fiance's sister, your best man, AND your dad will be a lot for your guests to take. If you truly can't ask anyone to toast jointly, I would have at least one of those people say a few words at the rehearsal. Like I said, this is how I consoled my mom when she asked me to say something, somewhere.

caraellen23 · July 2010

There is a best man, who is also FI's brother in law. His sister is a bridesmaid, and the best man's wife. My maid of honor is my best friend, my matron of honor is my sister. Those are the players. I said that the best man and FSIL could do a combo speech together if FSIL had to speak, and then have my maid of honor do a speech. My sister is not a fab public speaker, and she and my best friend wouldn't make sense going together. But if FSIL was getting her own spotlight, then I would feel like my sister would be publically slighted and would want her to have the chance to speak. Thus creating FOUR speeches, which I think would bore the guests to tears. Plus my dad is saying a welcome speech/toast.

Ideally it would just be the Best Man and the Maid of Honor. Everyone else can ramble for 20 minutes at the RD if they want. Does that make sense? FI spoke at his sister's wedding, so he assumed she'd do the same for him. However, her wedding was a DW with 40 people, so I'm pretty sure everyone spoke.

FI and I are speaking at the RD, and hopefully FMIL and FFIL since they are hosting. My sister can speak, really ANYONE can speak. ITs a small group at a U-shaped table. I'd love nothing more than to go around telling stories and sharing jokes.

So be honest ladies, am I being unreasonable bridezilla?

LaRositaMonita · July 2010

I don't think so at all! I think your compromise ideas are great. See what your fiance likes better - just maid of honor and best man speaking, or a BM/BM's sister joint speech along with both MOHs speaking, or your sister saying something at the rehersal dinner. (Also...check with your sister if she even wants to say anything! Maybe let her know your feelings and that you don't want her to be slighted...if she's not a good public speaker, maybe she won't want to speak at all or wasn't expecting to.) Explain your point of view and find a compromise that works best for everyone.

Trust me -your future husband won't want to sit through five speeches either! Even with our three (plus, I am now remembering, a short blessing from our neighbor before dinner), all of which were wonderful and made me laugh and cry and which I loved, I was pretty much thinking "BRING ON THE FOOD ALREADY!" by the end

Jesster153 · July 2010

I worry about too many speeches too (bc Ive been to weddings with like 5 or 6 speeches!)

We're going to say something with the gifts at the RD and I'm sure my FFIL and FMIL will say something

At the reception we're having the best man, my Dad and maybe my sister (MOH) give a speech. We told them keep it short and sweet though

caraellen23 · July 2010

Thanks for the feedback. FI and I talked about it last night and I really tried to impress that four speeches, even if they were short, were just too many. I think he's going to talk to FSIL today. My feeling is that she didn't even think about speaking at the wedding as he is assuming. Hopefully it'll just be the best man and maid of honor. And everyone else can speak at the RD.

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