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How do i handle this?? HELP!!

TVL2BTVL2B
in Moms and Maids

This past week I set up an apt for 2 of my 3 bridesmaids to come pick out their dresses with me for yesterday. Both were informed of the date, time and place and they both responded with an "Ill be there". Well, Friday I text both of them as a reminder. One of the girls never got back to me. I even sent her something on facebook. She was a no show at the apt yesterday, and I text her last night asking what happened, and she never responded. She has since been on facebook and has yet to get in touch with me. Her husband is also in the wedding party and is FI best man. Im kind of at a loss in what to do. She has ignored me three times now, and I feel like im wasting my time. Should I just be blunt with her and ask if she wants to still be in the wedding, or just start looking for a new BM? Wedding is December 8th.

TIA :)

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Re: How do i handle this?? HELP!!

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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
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    TVL2B said:

    This past week I set up an apt for 2 of my 3 bridesmaids to come pick out their dresses with me for yesterday. Both were informed of the date, time and place and they both responded with an "Ill be there". Well, Friday I text both of them as a reminder. One of the girls never got back to me. I even sent her something on facebook. She was a no show at the apt yesterday, and I text her last night asking what happened, and she never responded. She has since been on facebook and has yet to get in touch with me. Her husband is also in the wedding party and is FI best man. Im kind of at a loss in what to do. She has ignored me three times now, and I feel like im wasting my time. Should I just be blunt with her and ask if she wants to still be in the wedding, or just start looking for a new BM? Wedding is December 8th.

    TIA :)

    Have any of your attempts to contact her been non-wedding-related? As in, "Hey, friend, I haven't heard from you in a few days and I'm starting to worry. Is everything okay?"

    You still have nearly five months until your wedding, which is plenty of time for her to buy a dress. Even if she chooses not to do so and either drops out of the wedding or simply doesn't have a dress in time, that's on her, not you. Do not, under ANY circumstances, kick her out of the wedding (or 'ask her to drop out,' as some people put it, which amounts to exactly the same thing) and certainly do not replace her. That would insult not only her but her replacement as well.
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
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    You could give her the information she needs to order the dress on time for your wedding. Then let it go. If she gets the dress on time, she's in. If she doesn't, she's a guest. 
                       
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    I would do as Maire suggested. It's rude that she just no-showed and is blowing you off, though. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    It's annoying and rude of her to be so MIA and flaky. To deal, I'd give her a deadline and a dress and if she doesn't order it, she takes herself out of the wedding.
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    s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
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    Give her a deadline with the dress and leave it at that. Try catching up with her on something for HER - that's NWR.
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    PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
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    MairePoppy said:
    You could give her the information she needs to order the dress on time for your wedding. Then let it go. If she gets the dress on time, she's in. If she doesn't, she's a guest. 
    Agree. Though I would also like to ditto the advice to contact her for non-wedding related stuff too. Ask how she is doing and for updates on her life. Invite her over for a movie night and BBQ or something. You've got 5 months until your wedding no need to go Rambo on her for missing one appointment. 
    ~* Matron of Honor *~

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