Advice :: At home reception

Megan6346 · July 2013

Good morning all! I'm needing some advice! Next June is our wedding and we have approximately 50 guests coming with us to Vegas. In Vegas we will be having the ceremony, dinner reception and double decker bus tour to top off the night! My questions are about an at home reception.. My grandma is insistent that we have one as she won't be able to come to Vegas, however I personally am not wanting to have one. In my eyes I feel although people will see it as us asking for gifts and not even being invited to the wedding, when honestly we don't even want gifts from anyone. It's all just stressing me out! Is everyone having 'at home receptions'? If so, what are you doing? Dinner? just cake & drinks? An all out reception with the dances and stuff?? Please help!

Megan6346 · July 2013

I'm just trying to keep it as simple as possible and good on the budget! However I feel like if we just have drinks/booze and cake it will be boring?? I just don't know what to do... Sorry for the random rambling! Lol

Valeriecruz82 · July 2013

I was but ended up changing my mind since we are having a bridal shower at home that is enough to me. Plus we are having food/ cake in our suite for about 2 hours after the wedding and doing a strip photo tour with our guests and also finishing the night going to a club ..I don't see the need for an at home reception.

Megan6346 · July 2013

Yeah I am just leaning toward not having one but I feel like others are trying to pull me the other direction! There would be approximately 200 people there, 150 of whom weren't invited to attend our Vegas wedding. Part of me feels like its rude and that they will just view us as asking for gifts which is not the case at all. Another problem I have is that our wedding party is all from out of town so do we really require them to drive and give up yet another weekend after they just paid to travel to be with us in Vegas? I'm torn... I really don't know what to do. Maybe I'm over thinking everything.

ktbabe530 · July 2013

We are thinking of having a family BBQ at his parents house when we get back. Mostly for family that is too old to travel to Vegas. We aren't promoting it as a wedding reception or anything, but just a chance for the family to get together after our honeymoon.

200 is a lot of people, but could you do something low key and laid back, like at a local park or something?

vegasgroom · July 2013

I'm not a fan of them. Even if you clearly explain you don't want anyone to bring gifts, some will still take the whole thing in the wrong light if they weren't invited to the wedding. I like the shower idea.

J9lawrence · July 2013

I agree with @vegasgroom, I don't like them either. If you are going to go to all that stress and trouble you may as well just get married at home! Maybe you and your new husband could do something special with your grandmother to make her feel involved in your wedding process. Or a casual family gathering when you get back.

Megan6346 · July 2013

How do you guys feel about a 'send off party'?? Just something casual a week or two before we leave.. In our backyard with food and drinks? That way we can still invite all the extended family my dad and grandma are wanting yet keep it casual and fun. Do you think people would still feel obligated to bring a gift?

vegasgroom · July 2013

Megan6346 said:

How do you guys feel about a 'send off party'?? Just something casual a week or two before we leave.. In our backyard with food and drinks? That way we can still invite all the extended family my dad and grandma are wanting yet keep it casual and fun. Do you think people would still feel obligated to bring a gift?

I'd probably have similar mixed feelings about that if I knew other people had been invited to the wedding but I had not been. I kind of feel like people who aren't getting invited to a wedding should not be invited to any wedding-related activities.

I'm not trying to be difficult or rain on your parade; just stating how I'd personally feel, but who knows if I'm even close to how most other people would feel, many times my personal opinions differ from others' quite a bit lol.

Megan6346 · July 2013

Haha I totally understand where you're coming from and actually feel the same way! I just know that I'm not going to get away with not having something so I'm trying to find something in between that makes me feel better about it and still pleases my family.

SD210 · July 2013

vegasgroom said:

I'd probably have similar mixed feelings about that if I knew other people had been invited to the wedding but I had not been. I kind of feel like people who aren't getting invited to a wedding should not be invited to any wedding-related activities.

I agree with VG that unless people are invited to the wedding, you shouldn't invite them to wedding related events. For example, everyone who was invited to my bridal shower was invited to the wedding. Now, many of those woman cannot afford to come to Vegas, but they were invited and I enjoyed spending time with them at the shower.

As for "at home receptions," I am personally not in favor of them. However, I think they are OK so long as everyone who is invited to the at-home was invited to go to Vegas. That way, no one perceives it as though they were on a B-List and not invited to "the real wedding." Again, not my cup of tea, but different strokes for different folks!

thesepinkdays · July 2013

My mom and dad are hosting a party the week after we get home for all our friends and family. I wasn't a huge fan of the idea but a lot of there friends (who know we are getting married in Vegas and are not invited) have all been asking when the reception at home will be, so I really think it depends on your family and friends.

There will be around 150 at the reception at home its going to be as laid back as possible, beer, wine dinner and dancing.

I suppose I should add that my mom and I are DOC an have also done a ton of catering, so we have had a hand in every wedding of family and close friends in the last five years, and always as a gift....so many of those people are insisting on helping for our day.

If its going to stress you out don't do it!

Jiimanie · July 2013

I think you have to try and find a happy compromise that suits you, as previous poster said you don't want to get stressed out about it.

I am having an at-home reception for 150 of our friends and family for several reasons:
1) My grandparents won't be able to make it to the wedding and are desperate to celebrate with us on our return (including the bridal party all dressed up in our outfits)
2) We've had lots of people asking 'but will you have a party when you get back?'

3) Everyone we've told about the party who isn't invited to Vegas has been excited about still being able to celebrate with us

4) Those who have been invited and can't make it are thankful that they can celebrate with us too

5) It's going to be a fun party, with food, drinks, dancing, and a band
6) It's something a little bit traditional, unlike the rest of our wedding, which I think my family is quite pleased about!

7) We are going to make it explicit on the invitations to this party that we do not want presents, we appreciate that some people will have to travel to be there and that their 'presence' is going to be the perfect wedding gift

mbenoit03 · July 2013

i say just have a basic bbq call it a "welcome home bride and groom bbq". if you say reception people may think they must bring a gift. if they want to they will.

wrigleyville · July 2013

My parents wanted to do this, and I put my foot down. I think it's rude to invite people to wedding-related activities who aren't invited to the actual wedding. Even though some relatives would have been okay with it, I know there would have been some hurt feelings.

Our compromise is to have a big family BBQ (which my parents do every other year anyway). We always set out a bunch of old photo albums for everyone to look through, so we'll just put our wedding album in the mix. It won't be any different than any other party, but I'm sure some people will still congratulate us, which is normal and expected.

KikiMira · July 2013

I got suckered into one. I come from huge families, like 150 people a side. So we capped Vegas at 55 of our closest friends and family. We are doing a cake and punch reception at home-with cash bar. I am not feeding everyone. Im not thrilled about it though!

annathy03 · July 2013

I think a BBQ would be fine, and I'd have photos people can look through, but I wouldn't want to be invited to a "reception" if I wasn't invited to the wedding, it would feel like a B-list event to me.

Since you'll already be married the party is a husband and wife celebrating their recent nuptials. It's not a wedding, so there is no need to worry about the wedding party, since they won't need to stand up or any of that.

hollystar13 · July 2013

Im having a back yard bbq for our at home reception. I didn't want one either, I thought Vegas was enough but the grandparents who cant make it are super sad. Ive been telling people about it and it seems like everyone loves the idea even if they didn't go to the Vegas wedding. My family is pretty blunt so I know they would tell me if its a stupid idea lol

missmo14 · July 2013

We just decided the other day that we would have a family celebration in honor of our wedding to welcome FI into the family but this will be in Zambia, Africa. We are travelling there in December next year so that FI can meet my huge family of which most could never afford the trip to Vegas. They all love the idea and cant wait. We are hosting it as a family reunion so no gifts etc.

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