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Wedding Etiquette Forum

who gets invited to the shower?

thanks for your advice about having a bridal luncheon vs a traditional shower. i'll be having the luncheon, no registry. now on to the guest list. who gets invited? or more specifically, do i have to invite all the women who are being invited to the wedding? i'd prefer not to, and to have a more limited guest list with just close friends and family instead. what say ye, etiquette pros?

Re: who gets invited to the shower?

  • It's perfectly fine to just invite close friends and family.  The only etiquette thing to keep in mind with the any pre-wedding party guest list is that everyone invited to the pre-wedding party must be invited to the wedding.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • Just invite the people you are closest to. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • thanks, an easy one. i'm trying to make this whole planning process as smooth as possible, without being rude or getting my panties twisted.
  • I just hosted a bridal luncheon for my MOH who is getting married 2 months before I do. We had lunch and she is not registered any where and she did not register anywhere due to already having a house with her FI, so I advised guest to bring gift cards to Lowe's,Home Depot, and Hobby Lobby to go towards their new home. I invited her bridal party, mother, aunts, FMIL and a couple of cousins to the lunch and it was amazing! 
  • scribe95 said:

    That is terrible. Advising gift cards for a "luncheon" is the same as asking for cash.

     I admit I don't get the difference between a luncheon and a shower but most on here say a luncheon means no gifts. So then why would you tell people to get gift cards. It's either a shower with gifts or a luncheon with no gifts.


    I think the only excuse for advising gift cars for the luncheon could possibly be if you invited the guests and they said "She's not registered? What should I get her!" and you responded "No presents! She just wants to spend time with everyone, it's not a shower, just a luncheon", and they pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed until you could finally say that "While no presents are necessary, and it's not a shower, if you really want to get her something, as you know she has a new home that they're fixing up, so I'm sure she'd appreciate a gift card to Lowes or Home Depot or something. But again, it's not a shower, no presents!". 
  • You can have a more limited guest list for your shower than for your wedding.  The only rule is that everyone invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding.
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