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Wedding Etiquette Forum
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who gets invited to the shower?

cruffinocruffino member
Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
thanks for your advice about having a bridal luncheon vs a traditional shower. i'll be having the luncheon, no registry. now on to the guest list. who gets invited? or more specifically, do i have to invite all the women who are being invited to the wedding? i'd prefer not to, and to have a more limited guest list with just close friends and family instead. what say ye, etiquette pros?
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Re: who gets invited to the shower?

  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    It's perfectly fine to just invite close friends and family.  The only etiquette thing to keep in mind with the any pre-wedding party guest list is that everyone invited to the pre-wedding party must be invited to the wedding.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Just invite the people you are closest to. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • cruffinocruffino member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    thanks, an easy one. i'm trying to make this whole planning process as smooth as possible, without being rude or getting my panties twisted.
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  • blw12987blw12987 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I just hosted a bridal luncheon for my MOH who is getting married 2 months before I do. We had lunch and she is not registered any where and she did not register anywhere due to already having a house with her FI, so I advised guest to bring gift cards to Lowe's,Home Depot, and Hobby Lobby to go towards their new home. I invited her bridal party, mother, aunts, FMIL and a couple of cousins to the lunch and it was amazing! 
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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    scribe95 said:

    That is terrible. Advising gift cards for a "luncheon" is the same as asking for cash.

     I admit I don't get the difference between a luncheon and a shower but most on here say a luncheon means no gifts. So then why would you tell people to get gift cards. It's either a shower with gifts or a luncheon with no gifts.


    I think the only excuse for advising gift cars for the luncheon could possibly be if you invited the guests and they said "She's not registered? What should I get her!" and you responded "No presents! She just wants to spend time with everyone, it's not a shower, just a luncheon", and they pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed until you could finally say that "While no presents are necessary, and it's not a shower, if you really want to get her something, as you know she has a new home that they're fixing up, so I'm sure she'd appreciate a gift card to Lowes or Home Depot or something. But again, it's not a shower, no presents!". 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You can have a more limited guest list for your shower than for your wedding.  The only rule is that everyone invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding.
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