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Guest List ??

KCLindgrenKCLindgren member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Connecticut
Ok.... I hope to hear from you all! 

Tell me how you are narrowing down your guest list??  (Or if you're married, how did you pare down the guest list?)
We'd like to have a smallish wedding but the guest list just keeps growing and growing!!! 

It seems like everyone is adding to the list.  Fiance and I are considering taking an arbitrary number and giving 1/3 of guest list to my parents, 1/3 to his parents, and saving 1/3 of the invites for our friends. 
If it helps to know, Fiance and I are splitting wedding costs with his parents.  My parents are not contributing.

The other problem:  How many "no"s do you plan for?  10-15%?  I know it's tacky but do you think we should consider doing a B list (sending out more invitations to people after a few "No"s have come back)?
Here are two short articles about the B List:
 http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/destination-weddings/qa/inviting-b-list-guests-to-adestination-weddingqa.aspx

http://www.weddingbee.com/2010/09/03/wedding-b-list/#axzz2ZsI0gm17

It seems very tricky to me!!! 

And please, keep it civil!  Just looking for some friendly advice! :)  Thanks so much!!!!
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Re: Guest List ??

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    VadersValkyrieVadersValkyrie member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Do you have your location picked out yet?  My location (Inn at Middletown) can ONLY fit 100 people, so that helped limit our list.  

    In general, the rule is that whomever is paying gets the say in who gets invited.  If each party (you and FI, your family, his family) are each paying 1/3 of the cost, then you each get 1/3 of the guest list.  


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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    The way we figured out the guest list was to make a spreadsheet of all the friends and family we wanted to invite and we added a guest for anyone single but not in a relationship. Then we shared that list with our families and asked for their input to see if anyone was missed.

    The guest list dictated the venues we could use for both budget and size purposes. We knew we wanted those people to attend so we didn't cut the list in favor of a smaller venue or one that was more expensive.

    I would factor 100% attendance unless you know for a fact that some guests won't be there. While we had about a 25% decline rate, some members on the national boards had acceptance rates well over 90%.

    I also advise against a B list. Yes, you might see wedding magazines saying they are OK but they're pretty rude. (Keep in mind that the wedding industry will advise doing things that aren't appropriate since their business is making money.) People generally find out when they aren't on the first tier and it can lead to some seriously hurt feelings.
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    KCLindgrenKCLindgren member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Good points! Thank you.
    Yes, we've selected a venue, it's the Branford House at Avery Point. So excited!
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    SB1512SB1512 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    edited July 2013
    I agree with everything banana said.  Just remember, that since your FI's parents are contributing, they do have say in the guest list and might want to invite more than the number they are given.  I'm not sure how rational they are, but hopefully if they put a ridiculous amount of people on their list they can talked into cutting their list.  My now husband's parents contributed to our wedding and handed over a guest list of close to 125 people.  They wanted no part of cutting the list and we were told that everyone on the list had to be invited, there was no where to make cuts.  Husband and I disagreed with this (inviting his two sisters husbands parents, really?) but his parents were prepared to pay whatever was needed to there was no arguing with them.  Our venue could hold up to 300, so there was no using that as a reason to cut down the list either.  Please do not B-list.
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    MoonlightSilverMoonlightSilver member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    We had a smaller list of friends, and a huge family list. Because my parents were paying, we ended up with a larger guest list than we wanted. However, many of them were elderly and out of state so that led to more no RSVPs. I convinced my mom to do Wedding Announcements after the wedding for some of the guests that I really did not think needed to be there.

    Please plan for 100% attendance and do not do a B list. 
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