n/a

Re: n/a

• fmbyo member

  

  July 2013

  raelynn28 said:

  I met my first love when I was fourteen and we have been in love ever since. On and off for the last 15 years. That's not, however, who I am marrying in two months.
  
  My fiance swept me off my feet about a year ago and I said goodbye to that first love. The thing is, the past guy took a different path from me and I don't think I would be happy with him now, I dont think it would work out if we tried again and I don't want to be with him. I love my fiance and I want to be with him. But the feelings for the past guy are still there.
  
  I had a missed call in the middle of the night a month ago and called the number back to see who it was and was shocked to get his voicemail...
  We recently had to move back to my hometown and I saw my first love while out shopping for dresses for my wedding...for the first time in over a year- the longest I have ever gone without seeing him.
  It would have been better, I think, if he hadn't reacted to seeing me. But he just froze, staring at me and the look on his face, I can't get it out of my head. Like it just crumbled his reality to see me and he left the store, just like that. I can't get him out of my head. And when I succeed in doing so, I end up dreaming about him and I'm back at square one. I'm terrified that he's going to pop into my head when I say "I do."
  
   Is it okay to take those feelings with me into this marriage? I have no intention of acting on any feelings.  And I think after such a long time, it will take a long time to get over those feelings, wether I'm happy in a relationship or not. Am I just supposed to stop my life and wait for those feelings to go away (when I'm not sure they ever will)? I feel guilty for having them. I wish I could talk to my fiance about it but I think there's a fair chance he won't understand and will just be hurt.
  
  I guess I'm looking for someone to either tell me it's horrible and that I should definitely not enter into a marriage with feelings like that or to tell me it's normal and that everything will be fine. Please respond, even if it's short and you feel it would be unhelpful.  Thanks.
  

  No, I think you should postpone the wedding, and maybe think about spending some time getting your head right. If you're thinking of someone else while planning your wedding to your fiance you've got a recipe for disaster.
  

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• VarunaTT member

  

  July 2013

  Whoa.  I feel like this is former BFF posting.

   

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