A couple of weeks ago, my fiance's brother called from China (where he lives) to let us know that he proposed to his long distance girlfriend of six months. She is Chinese, so all of her family lives there as well. He asked my fiance to be his best man, and he agreed before asking when the wedding is taking place.
Then he told us that he wants to get married in three months. When my fiance told him that there is no way that we could afford to go to China that soon, his brother offered to pay for his flight. There was no mention of how I would get to China. We are still recovering financially from his sister's destination wedding a month ago, and we are trying to save for our own. Even if his brother paid for his flight, we wouldn't be able to have the both of us go, because last minute tickets can be over $3000 a piece in addition to hotels and passports.
I like his brother, but I'm really mad that he would put us in this situation. He refuses to change the date to something further out, saying that they want to move in together when his lease is up, and his religion forbids him from moving in together before they are married. My fiance feels bad about not going to his brother's wedding, but he will not go if I can't go. I feel that his brother is being selfish by forcing his family to either spend thousands of dollars a person to attend a small restaurant wedding where they can't interact with any other guests (nobody speaks the same language) or being guilted for saying that they won't go. Are we overreacting here?