OLW

Peaseblossom55 · July 2013

FI,

I love the patio, I can't wait until it's done. I appreciate all of the hard work you are putting in to this. It's amazing!

Love,

FI

Dear job I'm applying for,

I'm awesome and perfect for it, please interview me and hire me. You won't regret it.

Eager Employee

Dear allergies or cold,

Whatever you are please go away. I hate feeling sick like this. I want to enjoy my friend's wedding this weekend.

Congested Bridesmaid

Dear weather,

Can you not rain and not be extremely hot? We just want to finish our patio?

Thanks,

Homeowner

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Dear stupid candidate,

I had high hopes for you until you decided to cancel your interview an hour before it started...I kind of want to punch you.

Sincerely,

Your recruiter

Dear apartment,

Pack yourself.

kthxbai

Dear job,

Please let me work from home starting in August, my commute is going to be soooo awful! Gas is too expensive to have over an hour commute every single day twice a day.

No love,

your employee

Dear FI's parents,

Please stop telling me to add guests to the guest list...we were done with that months ago. I'm not adding people that are friends of a friend of a friend of a friend of your cousin's best friend.

Love,

Your FDIL

CLoGreenEyes · July 2013

Dear BF,

Boy, that chocolate you gave me yesterday was everything! Thank you for being thoughtful and generous and continuing to enable my chocolate truffles addiction, lol. Just one more reason in a kagillion why you are definitely the best for me.

You're amazing and I love you,

Your GF

***

Dear care plan,

I am so exciting that you are the last one for the summer! Today, you're going down.

Sincerely,

Determined nursing student

***

Dear bank account,

Please explode with money ASAP. I really need to go shopping but have not the funds.

Appreciatively,

A broke girl who needs to start wearing something other than yoga pants

buddysmom80 · July 2013

Dear co-workers,

Thanks for throwing me under the bus, it's cool though because I NEVER call out sick so I don't know why you're worried what would happen if I did call out sick. Also, learn to multi-task and don't ask me to do ANYTHING for you again. I can't wait until I start working PT, this job isn't worth working with idiots.

Frustrated employee

----------------------------

Dear BF,

Thanks for giving me the motivation to clean the house today. I think we should use the sex as a motivator to do shit around the house. Apparently I'm THAT lazy. Also I'm glad you're supporting my new lifestyle of not eating a ton of carbs and crap. I love you for that. Also I can't wait to give your suprise birthday gift, I hope it works out though!!! Annnnd I'm so excited for our trip to DC, I can't wait to show you around my favorite city. September and October are going to be busy months!

Love you!

----------------------------------

Groceries,

Go shop yourself, I hate grocery shopping, let's make it fast tonight.

--------------------------------

NEYers,

Thanks for being awesome and supportive especially when dealing with my flaky friend meltdown the other day.

Love you ladies,

Buddysmom

-------------------------------------

Dear Flaky Friend,

I can't believe you "and guested" me. Rude.

So through with you.

-------------------------------------

Dear Body,

I don't know what we're doing right but losing 4 pounds in two days is pretty exciting but I'm going to put the scale away until next Monday.

Love,

me (finally getting my shit together)

Swazzle · July 2013

Dear Body,

Time to get healthy! We're down a pound this week and that makes me happy

**********

Dear Ladies of the ENEYG2G2013,

6 weeks and 2 days to go!

**********

Dear Ladybits,

I don't appreciate spotting for 9 days straight now. I'm begging you to PLEASE stop immediately if not sooner. Kthx.

KeptInStitches · July 2013

Dear reactor,

I'm through with you. And it's not me, it's definitely you.

Sincerely,

So over grad school

---

Dear hands,

Hold out. I know it's been an awful lot of knitting and the tendinitis is definitely flaring, but hold out.

Love,

The known universe

---

Dear mom,

Yes, I am looking forward to seeing you this weekend. Yes, I am in pain because of your Christmas presents. You want me to have baby afghans on the show? Knit them yourself.

Love,

Your daughter, who just momentarily lost patience with all this

---

Dear BF,

I love that you tabletop game (Pathfinder, Gambler's Quest mod). I hate that you can't tell time when you do.

Semi-love,

Zombified

cu97tiger · July 2013

Peaseblossom55 said:

Dear allergies or cold,
Whatever you are please go away. I hate feeling sick like this. I want to enjoy my friend's wedding this weekend.
Congested Bridesmaid

^This (but just sign it 'Congested lump')

======

Dear Toby,

Respond well to chemo please. We need you around for a long time still!

Love,

Mama

======

Dear DH,

I know Toby's cancer has thrown you for a loop, but I need my responsible, productive husband back. We both know things work better when stuff around the house isn't left to me to do (but I'll work hard to pick up your slack until you're back up to the task).

Love,

me

=======

Dear DH,

How is it possible that after 5+ years together, I can still look at you and wonder at how lucky I am. I love you more every day we are together, whether we are going through good times or bad.

Love,

Mrs. Wildcat

=======

Dear Tiger behbeh,

Can this be the month, please?

Thanks.

=======

Dear "friend",

I know I've said that I want to be invited to your wedding in Hawaii but when flights are $1,000+ pp and then adding in hotels and meals, I'm not sure you're worth it. Actually, I'm sure you aren't worth it, unless we make the trip about OUR vacation and not YOUR wedding. You'd hate that, wouldn't you.

Up in the air,

Girl you couldn't bother replying to for the last 17+ months

Peaseblossom55 · July 2013

@cutiger97 sorry you are feeling just as miserable. I think it might be more allergies than a cold, whatever it is it's annoying and I'm miserable. Feel better soon. I'll say prayers for Toby that his cancer treatments work.

buddysmom80 · July 2013

Dear @cu97tiger,

Please give Toby a big hug and kiss from me!!!!!

Blue & White · July 2013

@KeptinStitches I feel ya on the lack of a smart reactor system in lab. I very rarely regret leaving with my MS and saying f the PhD, lol. That might be because my advisor was psychotic. And it couldn't have scarred me too much since I'm going back to school next year (for EDUCATION, thankfully). I love science, but I've realized I love math so much more

Dear FI,

You have really been earning your husband stripes lately. I'm sorry I've been sick practically our whole engagement, but I ordered sample STDs and invitations the other day, doesn't that make me a productive wedding planner?

-Your FI who has panic attacks in the middle of the night. Grr

Dear brain,

Thanks for being sane since that last episode on Saturday/Sunday night. Please continue.

-Kthxbai

Dear bridesmaids in this wedding I'm also a bridesmaid,

Please stop being so difficult. We need to plan this shower. And if I end up paying for most of it when I haven't worked all summer, I'm going to be pissed. Actually, I'm just going to scale it down until I can afford for such nonsense. Because I'm logical, unlike some of you.

-Sometimes I wonder how my BFF can be friends with some of you

Dear my bridesmaids,

You are awesome. All of you. Please continue to be that way.

-Bride

Dear ABC Family,

Is it possible to like...just show the whole season of Twisted in a row? I'm hopelessly addicted. You can then show the whole season of The Fosters too. Such a big twist, although I think I saw it coming.

-Tweenybopper who is going to be 30 in less than 2 years

cu97tiger · July 2013

Thanks @livleighton @buddysmom80 and @peasebossom55 - Toby sends kisses and snuggles back your way!

suzie211 · July 2013

Dear FI,

10 days without your face makes me sad. I love that you are a superstar at your job, but they are hogging you. Looking forward to my other half being home.

Love,

Lonely girl

Dear body,

Please find a way to look magical in a swimsuit this weekend. It would be awesome to have some pool side photos that aren't just from the boobs up.

Sincerely,

In need of photoshop

Dear customers,

No I can't give you lots of shit for free. I'm in sales. I get paid to SELL things. If you can't figure out how to run a business, it does not mean I need to give you free things to make up for your mistakes. You do still need to buy them.

Sincerely,
Lady with an astronomical quota

ETA:

Dear self,

Next time you send out any RSVP's, invisible ink the backs. Deciphering initials and no return address is not your strong point.

Sincerely,
Frustrated bride

labro · July 2013

Dear Master Suite,

YAY! I'm done painting you! Now it would be super awesome if you would clean yourself and rearrange everything like it was. Cleaning bathrooms is my least favorite thing ever. Rest of the house, you can paint yourself. I'm tired of painting and buying expensive paint and making messes with paint. Also, I don't have any money right now to do home improvement projects.

Love, Me

Dear Puppy,

I'm so proud of you! You listened to me in a scary situation and did exactly what I wanted you to do and because of it you didn't get bit by the snake or try to eat him. Now that I know you can be a good listener we're going to get super serious about this obedience training.

Love, Your Mommy

Dear Bank Account,

Please have money again...being broke is really stressful.

No Love, Broke Girl who needs gas, groceries, and wine.

Dear Little Sister's BP,

Some of you really really really suck at returning emails and being responsive. What happened? Everyone said they wanted to do this so it's not like I'm making you do anything. I can't afford to do this all by myself and I could at least use a little organizational help, or even ideas, or maybe just validation would be nice.

Love your MOH

Dear BF,

I love you so much! That is all.

Love your GF

Blue & White · July 2013

@lmhollister Oh my, the puppy almost got eaten by a snake?! I'm SO glad he was able to listen to you! I feel like that is my future in child raising, though, haha - my kids are gonna be like "mommy, look! a snake!" and I'm gonna be like "omg get that creature out of my house ASAP!" Good times...

Also, yea, I hear ya on crazy other bridal party members haha. I understand I'm a little bored out of my mind since I'm not working much for about a month more but that doesn't mean you don't have to reply to my emails!

I love my bride, but I'm not sure how she's friends with all of these other people haha

labro · July 2013

@Blue & White YEAH I read your thing about the bridal party and I was like...omg that's me today. I'm just the kind of person who likes to get something organized and then be done with it. Not drag it out and then end up having to wait on people to bother themselves to type out a simple email response.

Cinders didn't really get almost eaten. It was a small snake, maybe just over 1 ft. or so, but it was a copperhead so a bite could have been fatal to her small puppy body. She found it slithering up the driveway a second before I saw. Thank goodness we spent some time learning 'Leave it!' the other day otherwise she would have never listened. She stopped in her tracks so I grabbed her and I ran and got a hoe out of the garage and chopped the snake's head off! It was super scary... it was all coiled up in a striking type pose and hissing and vibrating the end of its tail like a rattlesnake (apparently copperheads do that too).

CLoGreenEyes · July 2013

@lmhollister, that is terrifying! I'm glad that she listened to you and is OK! Smart girl for listening!

audrewuh · July 2013

Dear NEY,

I'm dropping in to say hi and that I miss you. Glad to see y'all are doing wonderfully!

Love,

Audrewuh

@Allusive007,

You looked gorgeous, dress twin! I'm so glad you had such a beautiful wedding. You and your H are so adorable together.

Love,

Your dress twin

Dear life,

I need a break. Give me one asap, please, or I may combust.

Sincerely,

A girl who needs some time and space

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