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Multiple Wedding Showers

[Deleted User][Deleted User]
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Is it bad form to not invite my futute mother in law to all wedding showers being thrown for me?  I am fortunate enough to have one being thrown by friends of my mom, our families have been friends for over 2 decades, all the kids grew up together.  Then another being thrown by my sister and my roommate, which will be more my current and college girlfriends.  My initial feeling is to invite by FMIL to the family shower and not to the "kids" one, but I don't want to be rude.
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Re: Multiple Wedding Showers

  • RebeccaRMNRebeccaRMN member
    First Comment
    I'm having a few showers thrown for me, too.  My rule of thumb for inviting my FMIL to wedding related events is to invite her if my own mother is being invited.  I invited both to the tasting (FMIL declined), Bridal luncheon (FMIL declined again!), and several other wedding related activites.  They were both invited to the "Family" shower and neither were invited to the shower thrown by my friends.  My FMIL is not excited to be involved in any of the wedding activites, but at least she is invited - but that's ok... I've done my part by trying to include her - her response is up to her.
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  • daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I agree with Rebecca.  I personally would invite my MIL if my own mother was invited.  That being said, I had two showers - one thrown by my BMs and the other by my MIL&SIL.  I got in a shitload of hot water with my MIL for not inviting my then-FI's grandmother to my bridesmaid shower.  It was utterly ridiculous and the whole situation has left a permanent scar on my relationship with my MIL and one of H's grandmas.  But my point is that I would use your best judgement on issues like this.  You don't have to invite her, but if your mom is invited, it's probably best to invite FMIL as well.
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  • arendivaarendiva member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    I disagree that a MOG needs to be invited to everything a MOB is.  I went to a bridal expo with my mom and grandma and I plan to go dress shopping with just my mom and bridal party.(Though for the record she is invited to my one shower).
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  • daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-wedding-showers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1155df8-28b5-4f2d-8b2f-c5f641ed3993Post:9318a49c-da80-458b-a77f-e047125bc496">Re: Multiple Wedding Showers</a>:
    [QUOTE]I disagree that a MOG needs to be invited to everything a MOB is.  I went to a bridal expo with my mom and grandma and I plan to go dress shopping with just my mom and bridal party.(Though for the record she is invited to my one shower).
    Posted by arendiva[/QUOTE]

    I don't mean that the MOG needs to be invited to everything the MOB is (dress shopping, tastings - unless MOG is paying, etc.).  I just meant pre-wedding parties.  I went dressing shopping with only my mom.  Two of my BMs went with me for alterations, but only because they needed them too.  We didn't invite either set of parents for any appointments and the like, except for the dress shopping.
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  • gailpetegailpete member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Mothers of the bride and groom, bridal party and grandmothers are supposed to be invited to any bridal shower.  They do not need to attend all of them, and if they do, they are only expected to bring a gift to one shower. 
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  • sunset80sunset80
    First Comment
    pezigrl121 - I am in basically the same situation. What did you decide and how did it go?
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