Struggling to choose my maid of honor

BB2622 · July 2013

Hi everyone!

I'm new here...my name is Bridget and my fiance, Brendan and I just got engaged on the 14th of this month! We're hoping to plan our wedding for October of 2014.

So here's my maid of honor dilemma: my best friend since high school, whose like a sister to me, lives about 2 hours away from us. I've always pictured her as my MOH but I'm nervous that her distance from us will make it difficult for her to attend appointments and really be there for me.

I have another friend from work who I've known for two years. She recently got married and is excited about helping me with mine regardless if she's in the wedding party or not.

So, I'm torn on who to choose. Do i choose my best friend even though she won't be able to be around for much of the planning or someone who I've known for less time but will be able to help more?

Also, my best friends sister (who lives near her) is getting married the same month we're looking at so she'll be busy with her wedding as well.

any help would be appreciated!

NYCMercedes · July 2013

BB2622 said:

Hi everyone! I'm new here...my name is Bridget and my fiance, Brendan and I just got engaged on the 14th of this month! We're hoping to plan our wedding for October of 2014. So here's my maid of honor dilemma: my best friend since high school, whose like a sister to me, lives about 2 hours away from us. I've always pictured her as my MOH but I'm nervous that her distance from us will make it difficult for her to attend appointments and really be there for me. I have another friend from work who I've known for two years. She recently got married and is excited about helping me with mine regardless if she's in the wedding party or not. So, I'm torn on who to choose. Do i choose my best friend even though she won't be able to be around for much of the planning or someone who I've known for less time but will be able to help more? Also, my best friends sister (who lives near her) is getting married the same month we're looking at so she'll be busy with her wedding as well. any help would be appreciated!

Please. Appointments? She need not be at any appointments, save when you and she pick out her dress. Well, that and the wedding. You choose a MOH based upon who you want to honor. It is not about, and has never been about a MOH doing any planning. That is up to you, your FI, and whomever is hosting the wedding. She will be there for you as you marry your future husband. That is how you choose.

AddieCake · July 2013

If you needed to hide a body at 2 a.m, who would you call? That's your MOH. If you have to hem and haw, you're doing it wrong. If you like them both equally, have them both. Or have no MOH. I had no MOH, just 2 bridesmaids. They all do the same thing, so there's no real reason to designate any of them THE CHOSEN ONE unless you want to.

Nobody in your wedding party needs to attend appointments or "be there" for you.

itzMS · July 2013

Ditto everyone else. Your FI should be attending vendor appointments with you and helping with the planning...not your MOH or bridal party.

You're getting married. People do it every day. MOH does not need to be "there" for you throughout the planning (that's what FI is for)...but she will be by your side on your wedding day.

MayDay513 · July 2013

I did not have a maid of honor, two of my bridesmaids turned it into a "who knows huynhette better" competition. You do not have to have one. You don't even have to have bridesmaids if you don't really want to.

All bridesmaids are responsible for is buying the dress and showing up.

harper0813 · July 2013

Oh, I'm sorry, we were all mistaken. We're such bitches which makes everything we say much less credible.

AddieCake · July 2013

TheSparklyBride said:

Oh my God! Go away! What are you some kind of forum stalker?!

Kind of.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

TheSparklyBride said:

Oh my God! Go away! What are you some kind of forum stalker?!

Wow, shocker! We can hop from forum to forum just like you!

smalfrie19 · July 2013

AddieL73 said:

TheSparklyBride said:

Oh my God! Go away! What are you some kind of forum stalker?!
Kind of.

I lol'd sooooo hard!

swimmy1988 · July 2013

@AddieL73, great response!

AddieCake · July 2013

Thanks, Swimmy! You ARE seeing her BSC unfold over on CC, right?

[Deleted User] · July 2013

To the OP: my MOH was there when I bought my dress. So was my mom. But wait.... my MOH is my sister - and she said she wanted to be there. And she lives in Colorado. My mom happens to currently live in California. I live in Virginia. We figured out a time that worked for all 3 of us, and we went dress shopping.

The main point I have here, though, is that I have never pictured anyone else standing up with me when I get married besides my sister. If your friend is that person for you, there is no reason you can't ask her.

TKzilla · July 2013

NYCBruin · July 2013

To the OP: my MOH lives on another continent. This has caused exactly zero problems so far.

Ask the person who you are closest to to be your MOH.

Also, sorry your thread got taken over by a crazy troll.

astimmel · July 2013

TheSparklyBride said:

I don't follow you around on here to see where you post just to be a bitch to you.

You think we're actually following from thread to thread? I'm pretty sure this is the public inter-webs.

OP, @AddieL73 had it right. Pick the person you would call in the middle of the night to bury a body.

kristingregwedding · July 2013

My MOH is my sister. She was unable to come to any of my dress appointments, was only able to make it to the bridesmaid dress outing, but she is so supportive in other ways. She is married, has 2 kids and a full time, and lives 90 minutes away. I would never expect her to be there for everything. She is my best friend and even if she isn't able to do it all, I wouldn't want anyone else standing up at the alter with me (besides my fiance haha).

Dreamergirl8812 · July 2013

How has SparklyBitch not been banned yet? But don't delete these ridiculously entertaining threads!!

Dreamergirl8812 · July 2013

I'll take the flag.

Bubbles2014 · July 2013

What appointments? What planning help? No one needs to help you with anything.

My MOH lives in England. I live in New Zealand. She is flying in 4 days before the wedding. She is my best friend in the world and I love her more than anyone but my FI. So what if she can't come dress shopping with me? She is my female other half and I can't imagine anyone else being by my side on my wedding day. That means more than a person who could come with me when I try on dresses (I took my mum and my BM, FWIW).

Kate McCay · July 2013

I am having two Maid of Honors, my older sister who lives and hour away and my best friend for 12 years who lives 16 hours away. Neither of them have gone to any appointments with me and I wouldn't expect them too, thats what my FI is for.

They do however support me when I have my freak out moments and need them to calm me down, that is what they are there for in general not just as my MOH.

My mother and sister were at the bridal salon in person when I got my dress. However my best friend skyped in and was able to be apart of it even though she was a thousand miles away.

Pick the person that you want by your side and who you can trust to support and encourage you through this journey.

gpeeples · July 2013

My MOH lives 2.5 hours away, and it didn't cause any problems. We picked a half-way point to pick out my wedding dress and the bridesmaid dresses. The rest of the appointments I went to with my FI. When I got stressed out or needed to vent, I'd text her. The day of, she helped me get dressed. My MOH is my best friend of 13 years, and she definitely would have been hurt if I picked someone else just because they lived closer. Pick the person who's always been there for you.

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