Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

How do I request that my bridesmaid get her dress already without sounding like a B word?

 My wedding is under 3 months away.  About three months ago, we decided on bridesmaid dresses at Davids Bridal.  My MOH purchased hers right away and already has hers.  My Bridesmaid (how is also a family member) did not get her dress at the time.  She simply tried it to determine her size.  She then said she was going to search the internet to try and find the original manufacturer of the dress (who sells it to Davids Bridal) and purchase it through them to try and save a few bucks.  I've searched the internet myself and have not been able to fine out how she is going to do this but whatever.  I went the Davids Bridal route in the first place so that the dresses would be cheap to begin with.  Plus, as a family member I know her financial situation is not that desperate at all.  Anyways, the wedding date is now less than three months away and she has not gotten the dress yet.  Davids Bridal just called me to remind me of this and let me know that the dress is now on backorder.  If she ordered it right now, it would just barely come in on time.  How do I nicely ask her/remind her about needing to get the dress without sound like a controlling bridezilla.  She is an adult, so I figured she would be able to take care of getting the dress without a nudge, but that doesn't seem to be happening.  Thanks.

Re: How do I request that my bridesmaid get her dress already without sounding like a B word?

  • Options
    SB1512SB1512 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    If she doesn't get the dress, then she has taken herself out of the wedding.  If she doesn't purchase the dress, but you still want her to stand by your side, then let her wear whatever she wants, or request that she find any dress in the color your MOH is wearing (or a color very close to it).  Whatever you do, do not replace her if she doesn't come through with a dress.
  • Options
    Call her up and say, "Hey Sally!  I just wanted to remind you that the dress has to be ordered in the next week or two if it's going to come in before the wedding.  Just wanted to remind you in case it slipped your mind.  Anyway, do you know what's going on for Grandma's birthday next month/did you hear what Uncle Jim said about.../can you believe that... (etc, etc)."

    And just because she's family, don't assume you know her financial situation.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options

    Call her and say "hey, DB called me and let me know that the BM dress is on back order now. Just wanted to give you a heads up that if you are ordering it through them, you'll need to do so ASAP. By the way, how was your camping trip last weekend?"

    Then leave it alone. She will either get it or not.

    This.
  • Options
    Call her and say "hey, DB called me and let me know that the BM dress is on back order now. Just wanted to give you a heads up that if you are ordering it through them, you'll need to do so ASAP. By the way, how was your camping trip last weekend?" Then leave it alone. She will either get it or not.

    I agree with Stage.  Call her, tell her that the dress is now on backorder and must be ordered by "X" date, or it won't arrive in time for the wedding.  Then, change the subject.  If she doesn't order it, she isn't in the wedding.     After this last time, don't ask her about it again 
  • Options
    Idk I don't think I would kick someone out for not having the dress, but I would be upset if they participated in choosing it and agreed well in advance to purchase it and then didn't.  In the end, I think I'd just ask them to wear something appropriate and still be there for me.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    If she doesn't get the dress, she doesn't want to be in the wedding or has chosen to opt out. DB does tell you a long lead time than they actually need.
  • Options
    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    I can't tell you how many times I've purchased a DB dress on Ebay or Craigslist versus buying "new" from DB.

    I've also went to DB a week before a wedding and purchased a dress in the wedding color off the sample rack (Long story).

    She'll be fine.

     

  • Options
    I agree with Stage.  Just let her know the situation that DB called you about and that if she could take care of it by x date, fantastic.  And how was her week at work?  (just change the subject after).  

    I'm just a few months away from my wedding and I had to do a little bit of chasing to get one or two of my bridesmaids to order their dresses too.  You just have to remember that as a bride, we are very focused on our weddings, but for everyone else involved, it's not at the forefront of their minds.  All of my girls are people who have crazy schedules (ie. work 5-6 days a week, none of them work 9-5, and most of them, like me are putting in almost 60 hours).  

    None of them didn't order immediately because they didn't care, it just was in the "to-do" pile along with 400 other things.  To help alleviate me from being a total 'zilla, I sent out one email and then left it alone.  One of my girls who already did order her dress had a day off and offered to spend some time calling the others just to say, "hey, just wanted to touch base about our dresses and take some pressure off bride."  As it turned out, most of them were happy for the "touch base" (most of them were running around like chickens without heads as we all usually are) and we got all the orders in on time.

    I also still have to order my BM dress for my future sister-in-laws wedding which she gently reminded me about the other day.

    Guess I'll do that right now....  :)
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards