Bridal shower for out of towner

Re: Bridal shower for out of towner

• QueerFemme member

  

  July 2013

  JessJ421 said:

  Hi everyone! My friend who's wedding I'm in needs a little bit of advice. She lives out of town in Florida but will be returning home to New York for her bridal shower and bachelorette party. She doesn't want to have to worry about shipping all of her gifts back to Florida once the shower is over. Is there a polite and tasteful way to request mainly gift cards? We were also thinking about trying to somehow word that if people would like to buy an actual gift that they send it to her home in Florida. It would just be too costly for her to get everything back to Florida. We know some people are still old fashioned and get upset at the thought of a gift card but in this case it makes the most sense. What can we do to make it the least stressful but keep everyone happy? Any input is much appreciated!! Thanks
  
  Jessica
  

  
  She can just decline the shower, and just have a party. 

  

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  http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
  

  http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
  

  http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
  

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• aurianna member

  

  July 2013 edited July 2013

  The bride owes it to her chosen guests to let them watch her open the present they thoughtfully gave her, so asking people to ship it directly to her house isn't a very good option. Also, just watching a bride open gift card after gift card is really boring for the guests and actually makes it awkward if the dollar amounts are read.
  There's just no polite way to ask people to ship their presents / give gift cards.
  
  As PPs said, have her decline the shower, have a luncheon instead, or pay to ship the presents she can't manage on the plane. Yes it's expensive to ship them, but not as expensive as it would be to buy the items herself.
  
  The other options is she could drive to the shower; that's what we did when my in-laws threw me a shower 500 miles from my home.
  

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• kmmssg mod

  

  July 2013

  Man, I seem to post this a lot lately.  Last DD to get married lives in UT but shower and wedding were in MI.  She KNEW it was her responsibility to ship  her gifts home if she came back here for a shower.  It was never even a question for her.

  
  

  Her then FI came to the shower at the end, helped collect the gifts and they headed to Kinko/FedEx to ship them.

  
  

  One possible thought if any of the BM's are wanting to buy them a gift it to pitch in for the shipping instead of a physical gift.  If she doesn't want to ship gifts then there should be no shower.

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• s-aries8990 member

  

  July 2013

  If she doesn't want to ship gifts home, don't have a shower. I feel like she could really just rent a car in NY and drive home to FL with the gifts and turn it in down there.
  

   

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• LavenderHoneyBee member

  

  July 2013

  Ditto everyone else, you can't dictate how people give gifts. However - IF anyone asks (and only IF) you can state, "Well, Bride does live in FL, so if you would like you could always have the gift shipped to her FL address and maybe bring a picture of the gift to the shower? But of course, only if that's what you'd like to do!". I pretty much buy everything online, so I would prefer to have the gift shipped to the bride then have it shipped to me, and have to get reshipped all over again. But, most older family will just go to the store and buy the physical gift themself. Also, make sure the Bride's FL address is listed on the registry. Hopefully most people will get the hint.
  

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• STARMOON44 member

  

  July 2013

  If the bride is unable to cope with the burden of her friends' and families' generosity, she is free to graciously decline a shower.

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• banana468 member

  

  July 2013

  Ditto PPs. I've seen the suggestion that a gift to the bride could be the shipping cost.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  July 2013

  If this party is going to be a shower, then she's out of luck.  The core activity of a shower is to open gifts in the presence of the guests.  Gift cards may spare her the inconvenience of having to ship physical gifts, but they defeat the purpose of a "shower."  I'd consider changing the type of party to a non-gift-giving one.  Anyone who still wants to give her gift cards can do so.
  

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  July 2013

  I attended a shower where the bms gift to the bride was shipping the gifts to her home. The shower was a surprise to the bride so she didn't have a plan for moving the gifts from east coast to the west coast. She was very happy that her bms were going to take care of that for her. 

  
  

  I would suggest that before the shower invitations go out, the bride should remove any items from her registry that she doesn't want to ship. You could give her a lingerie/personal shower because those items are easy to pack. 

                     

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• annathy03 member

  

  July 2013

  Ditto PPs, but if she is flying southwest or jetblue she gets at least one free checked bag. I'd recommend that for most things and the BMs gifting shipping is a really nice thought as well.
  
  As a guest if I know the bride is out of town I'll try to choose something that's easier to pack (sheet set, etc) but I'd side-eye requesting gift cards like you wouldn't believe, and would decline unless the bride was a really, really close friend.

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