this is the code for the render ad
Not Engaged Yet

WR WWYD question

Hey girls I have a WWYD question that is wedding related. 

Right before we moved out of state at Christmas I asked my FI's sister and neice to be in the wedding and both excitedly accepted.  I told all of my girls to just pick a short, blush tone dress in their style and budget.  All of them have a dress ready to go including the neice except for his sister.  I've tried to not ask her about a dress much since I figuered she had 7 months.  Last month she asked me when she had to tell me by if she couldnt find a dress and she was having trouble.  I said ideally as soon as possible but really she had up until I have to give numbers to the florist and all that. She told me this weekend she still hadn't found anything but had purchased an outfit just in case she couldn't find a dress.  That sort of leads me to believe that she's planning to not stand up.  This is fine with me either way, I'm not upset, mad, etc.

She asked if she could still spend the night with us girls on Friday before the wedding even if she isn't "IN" the wedding and I of course said absolutely because she's going to be family and I do love her as a friend.  So here's my question, finally.  I ended up ordering her BM's gifts JIC and I am paying for mani/pedi for all the girls.  I'm planning to give out my gifts with everyone together.  If she drops out last minute do I still offer to pay for all that stuff and give her the gifts or should I just hold the gifts until Bday/Christmas and give then?  The gifts are personal and have nothing to do with the wedding. 

TL;DR

FI's sister is supposed to be a BM and can't/didn't find a dress as of yet.  She might drop out.  I bought BM's gifts already and I'm paying for a service the day before for my girls.  If she drops do I still give the gifts or do I hold them for another occassion (bday coming up and Christmas).  Gifts are personalized and are not wedding related or used for the wedding.



Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Re: WR WWYD question

  • As a friend ... I would still give the gifts and the mani/pedi. If nothing else, it's a nice bonding experience and that way she's not sitting on the sidelines while everyone else has fun.

    I'm reading this as though your mani/pedis are scheduled for Friday, so correct me if I'm wrong.
  • I would probably still give her the gift just because it's FI's sister, if the mani/pedi is going on while she is around I would invite her too.

    What are you gifts if you don't mind me asking?

    Anniversary

  • Personally, I still pay for all the stuff but save the gift for Christmas or a birthday. I feel like it would single her out to have her be the only one paying for herself, but giving the gift might make her feel guilty about dropping out.


  • I like @bethsmiles approach. 
  • I think @bethsmiles had a great suggestion.

    Out of curiosity, do you think she really couldn't find a blush colored dress but could find another outfit to wear to the wedding? Something seems off about that to me, but I might just be reading too much into it.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    "You are made of win." -SopChick
    Still here and still fabulous!

  • @bethsmiles - I like this approach because I really don't want her to feel left out or excluded and she is the type who feels guilty about everything.  She already told her brother that she didn't want us to be mad if she couldn't find a dress.  I text her and told her we would absolutely not be mad.

    @Peaseblossom55: I got them this http://www.etsy.com/listing/153903841/swamp-angel-treat-bag-sample-set?ref=col_view because everyone is from out of town and yummy smelly stuff is fun and each one of these in their favorite color http://www.etsy.com/listing/115802150/ready-to-ship-personalized-rose-opal-and?ref=col_view  I'm paying for the mani/pedi as well.

    @cu97tiger: See I feel the same way!  I sent links to dresses at modcloth, davids, forever21, etc when we were first looking because I knew they were having financial issues and these were very moderately priced.  My MOH bought 3 dresses because she couldn't decide and we offered her one this weekend to borrow so she didn't have to buy anything and I got nothing back in response.  I haven't said much because I don't want to offend her but I need to know a yes or no by the end of this week.  I think I'm just going to have the FI talk to her, maybe she thinks that she's upsetting me, but really I'd understand and I'm not upset in the least.



    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • how pretty I love the necklace!

    Anniversary

  • what outfit did she find? is it not a dress, but a pants suit? maybe thats the hang up...or maybe she's not thrilled about the length of the dress? Could she do tea length?  

    I would call (or have FI call) and have a heart to heart. Tell her you really want her to stand up, but you want her to be comfortable. If she doesn't feel like being 'in the spot light' by being in the bridal party, I would still include her in everything and give her the gift. Some people are just really introverted... 



    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • @cu97tiger: See I feel the same way!  I sent links to dresses at modcloth, davids, forever21, etc when we were first looking because I knew they were having financial issues and these were very moderately priced.  My MOH bought 3 dresses because she couldn't decide and we offered her one this weekend to borrow so she didn't have to buy anything and I got nothing back in response.  I haven't said much because I don't want to offend her but I need to know a yes or no by the end of this week.  I think I'm just going to have the FI talk to her, maybe she thinks that she's upsetting me, but really I'd understand and I'm not upset in the least.

    Yeah, def have your FI talk to her but at this point, I don't think you should try to get to the root of why, just whether or not she'll stand up. Like you said, you don't want to offend her and she's an adult, so if it was something she wanted to talk about, she probably would have already brought it up.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    "You are made of win." -SopChick
    Still here and still fabulous!

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards