open bar ettiquette explaining to FI

Re: open bar ettiquette explaining to FI

• GypsyWife_ member

  

  July 2013

  I'd give the venue x amount of dollars and say this is for drinks for your guest. Maybe start out at 1000 $? I thinks its called a hosted bar instead of an open bar.

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• Havana2014 member

  

  July 2013

  Are you getting married in ireland?

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• Lowell14 member

  

  July 2013

  Yes I am. I'm getting married in Belfast

  
  

  

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• Havana2014 member

  

  July 2013 edited July 2013

  What your venue has said is totally the norm here. An open bar is pretty much unheard of and can work out very expensive. I know on here people say 'host what you can afford' but I honestly think if you only served a few alcohol options as is often suggested here people would find it really bizarre. I know if i went to a wedding and couldnt have (as in purchase) my drink of choice I would find it really strange. Most people in ireland will have never been to wedding with an open bar and would not expect one. I'm not saying they never happen but it would be for different reasons and probably a lavish event.
  
  Maybe buy more wine so that is free flowing for the night? Or put a certain amount of money behind the bar and when that's gone people buy their own. Trust me, that would be totally not expected, but would go down a treat.
  
  Honestly no one here thinks anything about paying for drinks at a wedding, even soft drinks. Most would expect something on arrival (often sparkling wine or even just tea and coffee) and some canapés and wine with dinner but that's it.
  
  Did the venue give you an idea of cost to have an open bar?

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• Lowell14 member

  

  July 2013

  KindaSparkly said:

  Can you ask that all the drinks just be put on a tab for you to pay at the end of the night?  

  I've been to Irish weddings for my cousins (granted, they were in Galway and Clare) and they've always been open or hosted bar. It isn't unheard of in Ireland.

  I'm glad to know open bars are not unheard of in Ireland. I have no idea why I've not been given this option. I'll think about the tab but due to budget restriction I may lean toward hosted bar. I think I would be worried all night what the tab came too! Will try and save some more money outside the budget so I have a respectable amount of money to put towards hosting. and I will be firm and tell the hotel x amount is for my guests drinks.

  
  

  

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• Havana2014 member

  

  July 2013

  Granted its not unheard of but it is rare. Be very very careful about running a tab. Remember weddings in ireland can be long events - our reception will be 12 hours or so. I could easily spend minimum €50 in alcohol at a wedding (although Belfast is probably not as expensive as where I live). And that would be on top of the arrival drinks and wine with dinner. That can add up to a pretty large bill at the end if the night.

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• Havana2014 member

  

  July 2013

  leahjwatts said:

  KindaSparkly said:

  Can you ask that all the drinks just be put on a tab for you to pay at the end of the night?  

  I've been to Irish weddings for my cousins (granted, they were in Galway and Clare) and they've always been open or hosted bar. It isn't unheard of in Ireland.

  I'm glad to know open bars are not unheard of in Ireland. I have no idea why I've not been given this option. I'll think about the tab but due to budget restriction I may lean toward hosted bar. I think I would be worried all night what the tab came too! Will try and save some more money outside the budget so I have a respectable amount of money to put towards hosting. and I will be firm and tell the hotel x amount is for my guests drinks.

  I think that is a good compromise - will people then be able to buy their own drinks?
  
  

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• Lowell14 member

  

  July 2013

  Havana2014 said:

  Granted its not unheard of but it is rare. Be very very careful about running a tab. Remember weddings in ireland can be long events - our reception will be 12 hours or so. I could easily spend minimum €50 in alcohol at a wedding (although Belfast is probably not as expensive as where I live). And that would be on top of the arrival drinks and wine with dinner. That can add up to a pretty large bill at the end if the night.

  Havana, mind if I ask where you live? (Ie. West, south) I see your point about the tab. And the price of alcohol has gone up. I'm pretty sure most would have beer instead of whiskey etc so that may allow more drinks per head. Oh the joys of planning!

  
  

  

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• Havana2014 member

  

  July 2013 edited July 2013

  I'm in Dublin so technically a different country
  :-)
  
  if I went to a wedding and there was a tab at the bar I would be surprised. And delighted. I also would be very mindful of what I was ordering but some people might not be! Maybe the hotel could work out some deal for you in terms of price per drink that would stretch the budget even further.

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• icecreamS04 member

  

  July 2013 edited July 2013

  My host sisters both got married in Cavan... open bar on both occasions... they paid by consumption... 

  a friend, who got married in Co. Antrim had a limited bar (wine, beer, cider, vodka, rum only)... never been to a wedding where you were actually forced to pay for booze... 

  another friend only offered one glas of wine for dinner (that's it)... guest had to pay for any other drink they were having

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• kelceya member

  

  August 2013

  I'm planning a destination wedding in Dublin and ran into the same blank stares when I brought it up! In the end I think we'll be doing a hosted bar as well, plus trying to arrange for some additional alcohol for the tables by buying in bulk through the hotel's supplier.
  

  
  

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• rkbo member

  

  August 2013

  This entire thread was read with an Irish accent in my head.  

  
  

  We are getting married in California, our venue includes 2 hours of a full bar and we will be hosting beer and wine after that. If anyone wants something other than beer and wine after the 2 hours, they can buy it themselves. I know some people that would order a $20 shot of tequila and put it on a tab. 

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• Havana2014 member

  

  August 2013

  kelceya said:

  I'm planning a destination wedding in Dublin and ran into the same blank stares when I brought it up! In the end I think we'll be doing a hosted bar as well, plus trying to arrange for some additional alcohol for the tables by buying in bulk through the hotel's supplier.
  

  Where are you getting married kelceya? Any questions give me a shout :-)

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• SP29 member

  

  August 2013

  I would follow the cultural custom of where you are getting married. But a hosted bar sounds like a great idea.

  
  

  
  

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