Don't Make me put registry info on friend's shower invite

MrsRonBurgundy · March 2012

Hi Ladies,

I am planning my friend's baby shower, along with her mother, sister and another friend. I believe strongly that registry information should NOT ever go on any invitation, but every one of these women who is planning the shower with me has said "Oh shouldn't we include the registry info."

Um, no we should not. But, I know that the mom-to-be agrees with them b/c she threw me a shower a few years ago and she hounded me to put registry info on the invitation and I tried to dodge the question politely and finally just had to ask her point blank not to include it.

I am in charge of the invites, so could overrule, but I am clearly outnumbered on this. WWYD?

Thanks.

ahhhitsshannyn · March 2012

Hmm I thought registry information was okay for baby showers. Its okay for bridal showers, isn't it? I would just add them in, I think it would be stepping on some toe's if the other hostesses are all in agreement.

skippylouwho · March 2012

Registry information doesn't go on wedding invitations but it does go on wedding, bridal and baby shower invites.

strlzfan11 · March 2012

I agree with PPs. It's perfectly acceptable to include registry information on a shower invitation.

MrsRonBurgundy · March 2012

I was always taught registry info doesn't go anywhere, people should just find out via word of mouth or on their own. But good to see you are all in agreement. Thanks, Ladies.

achiduck · March 2012

Shower invites are the exception to the "no registry info on the invitations" rule.

MrsGandthebeag · March 2012

I've also seen it included on a separate piece of paper that goes in the envelope with the invite if you didn't want to actually print/write it on the invite itself.

mandi921vh · March 2012

The whole point of the shower is to "shower" the guest of honor with gifts, therefore it is perfectly fine to put where your friend registered for her baby shower on the invite.

andrea2473 · March 2012

I think you're taking the 'no registry' thing a little far. Personally, I'd be confused if I got a shower invitation without registry info. That's the main point of the party. Why should I have to track down that information myself, as a guest who wants to bring a gift?

MrsRonBurgundy · March 2012

Yeah, I'm old school I guess. It's just a thing I was always taught. Not arguing, just explaining. Yes, you are "showering" them with gifts, but you don't want the guests to feel like they have to get something off the registry. I mean I guess if you're going really strict and old-school Miss Manners type etiquette you don't even do a registry at all.

aragx6 · March 2012

I've had shower invitations both with and without registry information. I can see why you're not a huge fan, but given that it's pretty socially accepted, I wouldn't argue with the other hosts about it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-make-me-put-registry-info-on-friends-shower-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:30b18261-ffa0-4f9f-874e-9a87ebcab70fPost:7bf7047f-2b3d-4779-adaa-71aa24d38369">Re: Don't Make me put registry info on friend's shower invite</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I'm old school I guess. It's just a thing I was always taught. Not arguing, just explaining. Yes, you are "showering" them with gifts, but you don't want the guests to feel like they have to get something off the registry. I mean I guess if you're going really strict and old-school Miss Manners type etiquette you don't even do a registry at all.
Posted by MrsRonBurgundy[/QUOTE]

I am kind of on your side, but since it's apparently acceptable in her "circle," it would likely be fine. It's your choice.

Kind of like how it used to be gauche for the mother of the bride to throw a bridal shower, and now it's okay? Same thing.

em01092 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-make-me-put-registry-info-on-friends-shower-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:30b18261-ffa0-4f9f-874e-9a87ebcab70fPost:0bc6f9ce-c96e-4b87-b2bb-69d8b2fcd286">Re: Don't Make me put registry info on friend's shower invite</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Don't Make me put registry info on friend's shower invite : I am kind of on your side, but since it's apparently acceptable in her "circle," it would likely be fine. It's your choice.<strong> Kind of like how it used to be gauche for the mother of the bride to throw a bridal shower, and now it's okay? Same thing.</strong>
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

<div>This is still not popular in my area/circle. It's not like I'd be super offended if a friend of mine's mother hosted one, but it's just not very common with people I know. My MOH and BMs are having my shower at my grandma's (mom figure) house, but she made sure they did not put her name on the invitation as a host. She even believes no family member of the bride <em>period</em> should throw the shower, but I think that's a little too much, and I don't think that idea is/was as common.</div>

funandfreckles · March 2012

It's acceptable to put registry info on a shower invite.

StephBeanWed61502 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-make-me-put-registry-info-on-friends-shower-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:30b18261-ffa0-4f9f-874e-9a87ebcab70fPost:9b7a8469-3dca-4e02-bad2-fc4ee085cfe3">Re: Don't Make me put registry info on friend's shower invite</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Don't Make me put registry info on friend's shower invite : This is still not popular in my area/circle. It's not like I'd be super offended if a friend of mine's mother hosted one, but it's just not very common with people I know. My MOH and BMs are having my shower at my grandma's (mom figure) house, but she made sure they did not put her name on the invitation as a host. She even believes no family member of the bride period should throw the shower, but I think that's a little too much, and I don't think that idea is/was as common.
Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

<div>It's funny, but I find I've been having the opposite experience with this - it seems like, in my area/circle, the shower has turned into "the MOG and MOB throw a party for the bride, possibly with the assistance of the bridesmaids maybe." I'm not really sure when that particular switch got flipped, but every shower I've been to lately has been thrown by the moms. Maybe I live in TackyTown? </div>

sweetcanadian1979 · March 2012

The first thing i have asked when invited to a shower (always by phone call, never by invitation, not in my circle) is what to buy. I would never go to a shower without a gift so why would it be tacky to put it in the invites?

It would have been so much easier if people had actually been registered for things they like rather than what i thought they may like based on what i was told.

Also my registry did not work at one point by entering our names, had to put in the #, that is much easier to do if there is a card with it somewhere.

Include it as pp's said. It does NOT come off gift grabby for a gifting event.

dori851 · March 2012

Ditto PPs. Registry info on the shower invite is okay!

hoffse · March 2012

It's fine by etiquette, but I agree with you PP that I notice it and find it tacky. You might be able to compromise by saying, "registry information can be found at..." and list the couple's website if they have one.

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