Do I Invite My Boss and Co-Workers?

Re: Do I Invite My Boss and Co-Workers?

• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  August 2013

  I am a big advocate for the separation of personal and professional.

  
  

  It sounds like you might feel awkward if they attend, but you're feeling obligated and pressured to invite them. I would not invite your bosses and/or your co-workers. It sounds like you aren't 100% on board with it and that in itself is a good sign it's not a great idea.

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• Teddy917 member

  

  August 2013

  If you would feel like you wouldn't be able to be yourself and have fun, then don't. If you feel like having them there would still allow you to enjoy yourself then go for it.

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• KMandat22

  

  August 2013

  I think I feel awkward about inviting them because I think some of them will feel awkward coming! If that makes sense. One of my boss' would almost definitely come, but I think the other one would feel awkward being there. But I know they won't come without one another!

  
  

  Also, my fiance invited his boss and 4-5 co-workers, which made me consider inviting mine.

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• KMandat22

  

  August 2013

  I don't interact with them outside of work. They're all a good amount older than me, like the age of my parents.

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• itzMS member

  

  August 2013

  KMandat22 said:

  I think I feel awkward about inviting them because I think some of them will feel awkward coming! If that makes sense. One of my boss' would almost definitely come, but I think the other one would feel awkward being there. But I know they won't come without one another!

  
  

  Also, my fiance invited his boss and 4-5 co-workers, which made me consider inviting mine.

  I had the same scenario as the bolded. My DH invited his boss and 4 coworkers. They're all super close and socialize a lot.

  I invited zero coworkers. It's okay. Do what you feel comfortable with.
  

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• Xstatic3333 member

  

  August 2013

  I decided not to invite mine (similar office structure) and now that the wedding is in two weeks I wish I had. It would have saved a lot of awkwardness regarding planning my vacation time for the HM.

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• LavenderHoneyBee member

  

  August 2013

  I think you can easily leave it at just the two bosses. The other coworkers will understand that there is a difference between Boss and Coworkers. 

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• BrandNewJ member

  

  August 2013 edited August 2013

  If you only feel comfortable inviting your bosses, then do just that. You don't have to mimic your FI if it makes you even a bit uncomfortable. Just remember though that if you choose not to invite some or all of them, don't talk about your wedding planning in front of them or else it might awkward the reality.

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  August 2013

  When I was picking I did the "do I hang out with them outside of or work?" The answer to that question determined if they got an invite. If I would have invited all the people that I talk to on a regular basis at work and share personal information with, that would have added another 30 people (once you added +1) to my guest list which I didn't have the budget for.

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• harper0813 member

  

  August 2013

  KMandat22 said:

  I think I feel awkward about inviting them because I think some of them will feel awkward coming! If that makes sense. One of my boss' would almost definitely come, but I think the other one would feel awkward being there. But I know they won't come without one another!

  
  

  Also, my fiance invited his boss and 4-5 co-workers, which made me consider inviting mine.

  If they don't want to go, they will decline. An invite is not a subpoena. What do YOU want? Do you have room/budget for them?
  
  I am not inviting my boss and I would not invite a boss unless I had an excellent relationship with him or her. FI is not inviting his either and he recently asked if he could invite him - now that our RSVP deadline is here. Bad idea. But I don't think you need to feel obligated to invite a person who supervises you out of fear. He/she likely doesn't want to attend. My dad NEVER attends his employees' weddings when invited. He prefers to separate his work and personal lives.
  

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• arrichter1 member

  

  August 2013

  Erikan73 said:

  When I was picking I did the "do I hang out with them outside of or work?" The answer to that question determined if they got an invite. If I would have invited all the people that I talk to on a regular basis at work and share personal information with, that would have added another 30 people (once you added +1) to my guest list which I didn't have the budget for.

  My fiance and I work together, and this is what we did too.  It's tricky, especially with us both working in the same place.  You have to draw the line somewhere though.

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• nkotb_fan

  

  August 2013

  How long do you think you'll be working at this company?  I got married almost 9 years ago (came back to theknot today to ask a question) and I still work at the same company.  I don't regret anyone we invited, but I do regret NOT inviting some co-workers. At the time, budget was in issue, but we ended up paying for so many plates for people that didn't show that it would have been fine.

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• KMandat22

  

  August 2013

  BrandNewJ said:

  If you only feel comfortable inviting your bosses, then do just that. You don't have to mimic your FI if it makes you even a bit uncomfortable. Just remember though that if you choose not to invite some or all of them, don't talk about your wedding planning in front of them or else it might awkward the reality.

  This is one of the reason's I am leaning towards inviting my bosses. They already know that I am getting married. My future mother in law works there as well so we talk about wedding stuff at work a lot. But she keeps suggesting that I don't invite them for some reason. Still torn up about what to do. I feel kind of ridiculous for making such a big deal about it.

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• KMandat22

  

  August 2013

  nkotb_fan said:

  How long do you think you'll be working at this company?  I got married almost 9 years ago (came back to theknot today to ask a question) and I still work at the same company.  I don't regret anyone we invited, but I do regret NOT inviting some co-workers. At the time, budget was in issue, but we ended up paying for so many plates for people that didn't show that it would have been fine.

  I definitely picture myself being there in the next five years. 
  Budget is a bit of an issue for me and I don't want to go too far over.  I budgeted for 65-70 guests. I think I'm going to have right around that amount, but if I had a lot of people who couldn't come, my co-workers would be the next group of people that I would send invites to. They're kind of on my back up list at this point.

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