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Wedding party surprise?

lauralynn83lauralynn83 member
10 Comments First Anniversary
in Wedding Woes
So not to give too much information so i don't get into any more trouble but one of the women in my wedding party had a surprise wedding to one of the men. My FI and I figured when it printed in the paper (as it always does being a matter of public record and all) that it was fine to confirm when people asked, apparently not. So now things are weird because they have been together a long time but were only engaged for maybe a few weeks before this surprise wedding and granted our wedding is 4 months off but its frustrating. They said they didn't want to overshadow us but really? Ggrr...idk guess i just need to vent...
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Re: Wedding party surprise?

  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    lauralynn83 said:
    So not to give too much information so i don't get into any more trouble but one of the women in my wedding party had a surprise wedding to one of the men. My FI and I figured when it printed in the paper (as it always does being a matter of public record and all) that it was fine to confirm when people asked, apparently not. So now things are weird because they have been together a long time but were only engaged for maybe a few weeks before this surprise wedding and granted our wedding is 4 months off but its frustrating. They said they didn't want to overshadow us but really? Ggrr...idk guess i just need to vent...

    What? 

    So, they had a secret wedding?  You saw it in the paper?  Then people asked you and you said yes?  And they didn't want people to know?  Did I comprehend this correctly?

    Okay, now...what does that have to do w/your wedding that's 4 months away still?  Really?  You get a day, maybe even a total of 2 w/pre-wedding events, but not 4 months.

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  • PirateBarbiePirateBarbie member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    lauralynn83 said:
    So not to give too much information so i don't get into any more trouble but one of the women in my wedding party had a surprise wedding to one of the men. My FI and I figured when it printed in the paper (as it always does being a matter of public record and all) that it was fine to confirm when people asked, apparently not. So now things are weird because they have been together a long time but were only engaged for maybe a few weeks before this surprise wedding and granted our wedding is 4 months off but its frustrating. They said they didn't want to overshadow us but really? Ggrr...idk guess i just need to vent...

    What? 

    2 members of your wedding party were dating, eloped, and had it announced in the paper? but they didn't tell anyone? they got mad at you for telling someone?

    what does this have to do with your wedding, in 4 months?
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  • PMeg819PMeg819 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Why is this an issue?

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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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  • lauralynn83lauralynn83 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    I just don't understand using the excuse that they don't want to overshadow us when there's 4 months in between. I'm trying to understand. And yes even though it was printed in the paper they don't want me to answer that yes they did get married. And yes they got mad when i did answer honestly when i was asked...
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    Well, they're idiots. My guess is that they had a quick wedding (for whatever inane reason) and intend to have a pretend wedding later, which is why they were pissed you spilled the beans. Just roll your eyes and move on.
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    I guess I don't understand what you're irritated about then.

    Yes, people get hurt when their friends and family pull stupid stunts like this.  I lived through it when stupid little BIL did the nearly same thing to my DH and his other brother.  It's ignorant and dumb.  I don't think you're going to understand it (we never did).  But, it's not for you to understand.  

    If they don't want you to tell, I suggest when asked you say, "You should talk to Dumb and Dumber about that, I really couldn't say" and move on.  Grit your teeth and apologize for accidentally telling the wedding and move on from there.
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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I don't understand what the problem is.  So they're married.  Good for them.  If they didn't want anyone to know, they should have skipped a published announcement.  I know where I live, you have to submit those on purpose.

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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    I think she's talking about the legal announcements.
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  • lauralynn83lauralynn83 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Guess i need to clarify a bit. They had their immediate families there at the ceremony. It was a surprise not exactly eloping and yes it automatically prints in the legal section of our paper. I guess it's not something i will ever understand for why they got mad when i answered. Now. when people ask i just say i have been asked to neither confirm nor deny this event. When they say they saw it in the paper i just tell them that I'm not in the public records department and have been asked to not answer. Thanks anyways though, guess this one there's just no understanding.
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  • lauralynn83lauralynn83 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    I think my biggest irritation is that rather then saying they did it the way they wanted, they are saying that they did it that way because of us. I'm tired of being blamed for things that have nothing to do with me, their choices were up to them on how and when, so like i said to begin with, i guess i just needed to vent.
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  • amandaelsenamandaelsen member
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    Yeah, that is really weird that they would say that it's because of you that they had a secret wedding. 4 months is a lot of time to get your thunder back. And if they don't want people to know, they probably shouldn't have gotten married.
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    Oooo, I see now.

    Yeah, I'd be irritated at being blamed for a secret wedding.  I'm surprised you even were polite when that was said, I'd probably have busted out laughing in amazement and offended everyone standing around me.

    I know right now you probably want to keep the peace, but I think I'd be awfully tempted to say something to this couple.  I don't know if you want to keep the friendship or not though.  I'm not sure there's anything polite to say that doesn't start with STFU and make your own decisions, thanks.
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  • lauralynn83lauralynn83 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Worst part of the whole thing is that now she doesn't talk to me at all.  It's just taking so much of the fun out of doing my wedding now.  Luckily for me, my FI is very involved in the wedding and is extremely hands on for everything to do with the wedding, he even went to help me look at flowers, we were going for ideas and ended up getting for all the bouquets and half of the boutonnieres (debated real or artificial, he decided the matter on artificial because they are more hypoallergenic).  I'm just letting them cool off and staying away from all of the drama. The last thing I want or need is more drama and craziness!

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