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Wedding Etiquette Forum

social unit for rehearsal dinner

My ring bearers are twin 4 year old boys.  Obviously them and their parents are invited to the dinner.  The boys have two teenage siblings, one 23 year old brother that is engaged and one 21 year old brother that has a girlfriend.  Invite all these people?

Re: social unit for rehearsal dinner

  • That's a tough one. I'd say you could invite all the children that are dependents but leave the older boys in their 20's. My reasoning is that the older boys are probably independent from their parents and no longer part of that social unit, whereas the teenage boys probably still live at home and, depending on their ages, may still require parental supervision.

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  • edited August 2013
    Tough. I'd say that everyone has to be invited, in my opinion, because I don't see a good way to make a cutoff.
  • I think if they're old enough to get their own invitation, they are no longer a social unit with their parents anymore and can be invited or not.
  • I'm with Teddy, I don't think you need to invite them to a BP only RD. My RD is BP (and SO's of course) only too, and two of my adult cousins are BM. I didn't invite their parents and adult siblings, and so far I haven't heard of any ruffled feathers. Take family dynamics into account though. If there's drama potential I'd just invite them.
  • Adults aren't a social unit with their parents. You don't need to invite them, and honestly, unless you're close, they'd probably think it was odd. 
  • I agree with other PPs, if they're old enough to get their own invitation then they're their own social unit. Hence, invite all those under 18. If you still feel uncomfortable and have the budget for it then invite the older siblings with their own invitation and a plus one.
  • I vote for invite the RBs, their under 18 siblings and the parents to the RD.  If the older sibling(s) still live at home I'd be more inclined to invite them and their SO(s) to reduce the awkwardness factor in the house, but you are under no etiquette obligation to invite them. 
  • I vote for invite the RBs, their under 18 siblings and the parents to the RD.  If the older sibling(s) still live at home I'd be more inclined to invite them and their SO(s) to reduce the awkwardness factor in the house, but you are under no etiquette obligation to invite them. 
    I agree with all of this, especially the bolded part if that's the case.
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  • You don't need to invite the older siblings. Adults are not social units with their parents.
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