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Knottie1425582532 · August 2013

Viczaesar · August 2013

Hannahmaezie said:

Hi!!! Soooo I just got engaged! I am from New Hampshire and my man is from North Carolina. A few years ago I snapped a pic of Moe's southwestern grill's Ice Tea canisters. One says Northern (unsweet) the other says Southern (Sweet), which I joking sent to my FH and said "This would be our save the date". Fast forward to this past christmas, where we were making the 5 hour car ride up from NYC to NH with my brother and his girlfriend and I brought it up. This turned into a joke about us having a Civil War themed wedding, which included having me walk up the Mason Dixons line, wedding invites saying "in order to form a more perfect union", silly things like that. It got to be a joke that we started planning our "Fake wedding" around a North VS. South theme. Now here we are actually thinking it might be a neat idea and trying to fuse together old southern and new england traditions. My question to you, oh great bridal internet, is what are some New England wedding traditions, or southern? I've googled a bunch but haven't really gotten a lot of info, so hopefully someone has a grandma out there who might have anwsers!
Thanks!

You lost me at Civil War wedding theme.

allispain · August 2013

I've been told that having a groom's cake is a very southern thing (not sure if this is true or not). Other than that, I would say having a mixture of New England food and southern food at the reception and cocktail hour might be nice.

Also, I'm assuming you're not actually serious about the Civil War theme, but are just trying to combine some things that speak to your blend of northern and southern heritage, yes?

STARMOON44 · August 2013

Including your heritage is nice, but I'd find a civil war themed wedding in extremely poor taste. Hundreds of thousands of people died because of the mason Dixon line- don't trivialize that by turning it into a cute party idea.

artbyallie · August 2013

I agree that a Civil War theme is in poor taste. As for traditions, I always think it's ridiculous to go to the Internet to find them. Because then they are probably not meaningful to your families, which is who you should be asking.

Jen4948 · August 2013

There is a story on the Etiquette Hell website in the archives about a "southern" themed wedding that turned out to be in extremely poor taste.

I do like the idea of blending elements from your respective heritages-but I don't think you need a "theme" for that.

Knottie1425582532 · August 2013

Knottie1425582532 · August 2013

The Civil War theme is a complete and total joke....which had you read the post "This turned into a joke about us having a Civil War themed wedding" you would have seen.

I understand that it's easy to take these comments as being attacked, and I am assuming that you meant no harm in your posts, as I did with mine.

Perhaps the back story about this idea need be left to only those who know me and fiance and understand our humor.

Thank you for your helpful comments and making me feel so welcome in this forum.

JoanE2012 · August 2013

OP - What exactly is your reason for deleting? You were quoted, so we can all see the post. Not to mention, a deleted post or a mention of delete in the title actually attracts more people to it because it usually means it was a post that was a bit "unusual".

artbyallie · August 2013

Hannahmaezie said: The Civil War theme is a complete and total joke....which had you read the post "This turned into a joke about us having a Civil War themed wedding" you would have seen.I understand that it's easy to take these comments as being attacked, and I am assuming that you meant no harm in your posts, as I did with mine. Perhaps the back story about this idea need be left to only those who know me and fiance and understand our humor. Thank you for your helpful comments and making me feel so welcome in this forum.

And thanks for the sarcasm. If you read my comment, I did offer helpful advice, which was to ask your respective families about their personal wedding traditions.

ETA: @KnotPorscha, why do my quote boxes always get messed up even though they show up while I'm typing?

allispain · August 2013

artbyallie said:

Hannahmaezie said:

The Civil War theme is a complete and total joke....which had you read the post "This turned into a joke about us having a Civil War themed wedding" you would have seen.
I understand that it's easy to take these comments as being attacked, and I am assuming that you meant no harm in your posts, as I did with mine.
Perhaps the back story about this idea need be left to only those who know me and fiance and understand our humor.
Thank you for your helpful comments and making me feel so welcome in this forum.

And thanks for the sarcasm. If you read my comment, I did offer helpful advice, which was to ask your respective families about their personal wedding traditions.

I also tried to offer helpful advice - and to point out that I thought you were not serious about having a Civil War themed wedding... I guess that's what I get for being nice...

bakerie · August 2013

I would also like to point out that "In order to form a more perfect union" is from the constitution... You know, way before the Civil War.

TheVirginians · August 2013

You're welcome, on behalf of all the TK members. Looking forward to your next post.

EthelMerman · August 2013

Well, to be honest, she didn't really ask if anyone thought the Civil war thing was a good idea. She was asking about traditions.... not that that is any excuse for sarcasm...

As for traditions, I have a friend who is from NC and they did a thing called "bury the burbon" Here's a link I found. http://iloveswmag.com/2011/12/20/southern-wedding-tradition-burying-the-bourbon/

I guess they bury burbon where they are getting married for good luck?

Hope that helps!

Maggie0829 · August 2013

EthelMerman said:

Well, to be honest, she didn't really ask if anyone thought the Civil war thing was a good idea. She was asking about traditions.... not that that is any excuse for sarcasm...
As for traditions, I have a friend who is from NC and they did a thing called "bury the burbon" Here's a link I found. http://iloveswmag.com/2011/12/20/southern-wedding-tradition-burying-the-bourbon/

I guess they bury burbon where they are getting married for good luck?

Hope that helps!

Even though she was asking about traditions does not mean that posters cannot state their opinions or comments about other aspects of her post.

For example it would be like me posting "So I have decided to kill H today. Should I use an axe or a gun?" I am pretty sure that everyone would reply with "Do not kill your H! That is a bad and illegal thing to do." And no one would comment on what I am mainly asking which is what murder weapon to use.

When someone comes on here and states a bad idea that they are going to be doing, we won't just ignore stated bad idea and answer the main question with the lesser of two evils options. We will say that the whole idea in general is bad.

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

When I read the OP, I was convinced this was a troll. I thought no real person could have an idea that is this offensive and obtuse. I'm always shocked at how oblivious and thoughtlessly privileged some people are. I don't care what your sense of humor is, it's not funny. You don't get to explain something like that away by saying "oh you just don't know me..." I don't need to know you.

If you want to have a theme party that incorporates traditions of the North and South, ask your parents if there are any family traditions. If not, use your menu and your decorations to speak to this. Have traditional dishes from each place, have "south" and "north" signature cocktails, decorate with elements from both.

But please don't have a Civil War theme. Not only is it obvious that you are not well educated in history "in order to form a more perfect union"..... it's obvious that your sensitivity is lacking. That's a recipe for an offensive "theme".

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