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Guest list issues

weathergirl87weathergirl87 member
10 Comments
in Wedding Woes
So, I'm sure this is a fairly common issue, but I'd like some advice because I/we don't know how to deal with it. My fiance and are getting married sometime next spring, and are trying to get a rough head count.  We'd previously agreed to keep the number of guests around 150, but quickly realized that while almost all of my friends are either single or married with no kids, virtually all of his friends have kids (so, while I can invite one person, he is inviting 4-5).  This is causing us to push against the capacity limits for the smaller rooms for the reception venues we are looking at, and if we go to a bigger room, it increases our food minimum by about $4000 - yikes.  He doesn't see any way to cut down on his list as these people are all good friends who just happen to all have a bunch of kids.  Any advice on how to resolve this?
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Re: Guest list issues

  • weathergirl87weathergirl87 member
    10 Comments
    Forgot to mention, I brought up the idea of no kids. He didn't immediately say no, but didn't seem like a huge fan either.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    The easiest way to cut down the guest list would to have an adults only reception or you could only invite kids of family member or only out of town kids.

    Why is he not a fan of that idea?


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  • PirateBarbiePirateBarbie member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    if you have an adults only reception, then really limit it to adults only  - if you start cherry picking the kids to invite, you're probably going to end up pissing more people off. 

    keep in mind that having an "adults only" reception is also going to limit the number of people who decide to come - some people can't bear to be away from their precious little children for a few hours, and anyone OOT with kids will probably decline unless they have a local babysitter. 

    keep in mind that no matter what you decide to do about your wedding, you'll likely make someone angry - so do what makes you/your FI happy.
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  • Bubbles2014Bubbles2014 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    You can
    - Cut from other areas - Do you need all your 1st cousins, even the ones you haven't seen in 15 years (example)
    - Scale back the reception to something that can accommodate your new larger number
    - Not invite kids

    At the end of the day you have to do what is best for you guys.

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  • weathergirl87weathergirl87 member
    10 Comments
    Thanks for the suggestions, everyone!  In a surprising turn of events, my parents are contributing a significant sum of money (I was expecting a little, but not nearly as much as they are offering - and they are pretty laid back so I am not worried about excessive strings attached).  That will help, of course.  We're also looking at sites outside of our midsize Midwestern town that might be a little less expensive.

    We've discussed it more since I posted this, and he understands that it's an issue.  However, with new developments on the parental side I think we will be able to handle a few extra guests. :)
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