NM

SBmini · August 2013

Nevermind, it was a mistake of me to expect anything positive to come from this.

DixieNormous330 · August 2013

Upsetting I can understand. Hospitalization of her mother because of the stress is overboard and tragedy whoring to me. Obviously, despite it being painful in the immediate, it's the best thing for FSIL to do what she wants for herself and her life.

As for your husband and FxBIL, it will be a real shame if their friendship is altered and irreparable because of this.

tawillers · August 2013

Your FI's sister seems to have moved on, why does everyone else need the smelling salts?

Sure, it's hard to lose a family member, but these reactions are ridiculous.

SBmini · August 2013

.

DixieNormous330 · August 2013

SBmini said:

My FMIL was born with a heart defect and has high blood pressure- despite being VERY healthy. Her sister passed from similar problems when she was in her 40s. So trust me, it's not "tragedy whoring" that put her in the hospital.

I don't think his FSIL is making a good decision at all here, no one does. The general consensus is that she's being very selfish and stupid. My FBIL is a great guy and for her to put her future and her children's future in jeopardy... I don't understand it, in short, but only she's married to him so at the end of the day, it is 100% her choice. I also hope my FH and his BIL are able to keep their friendship. It's a tough spot for my FH to be in for sure.

1) if she got so worked up over this that she was hospitalized you can't solely blame her other health issues. If you said initially that your FMIL has health problems and the slightest hint of stress in her life hospitalizes her, it might be different.

2) you don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

SBmini · August 2013

DixieNormous330 said:

SBmini said:

My FMIL was born with a heart defect and has high blood pressure- despite being VERY healthy. Her sister passed from similar problems when she was in her 40s. So trust me, it's not "tragedy whoring" that put her in the hospital.

I don't think his FSIL is making a good decision at all here, no one does. The general consensus is that she's being very selfish and stupid. My FBIL is a great guy and for her to put her future and her children's future in jeopardy... I don't understand it, in short, but only she's married to him so at the end of the day, it is 100% her choice. I also hope my FH and his BIL are able to keep their friendship. It's a tough spot for my FH to be in for sure.

1) if she got so worked up over this that she was hospitalized you can't solely blame her other health issues. If you said initially that your FMIL has health problems and the slightest hint of stress in her life hospitalizes her, it might be different.

2) you don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

You are right- I don't know what goes on behind closed doors- and neither do you. I do not appreciate you making accusations and assumptions when you don't know what is going on. I'm not putting forth all the information because A. I don't think it is necessary and B. because I don't think it will make for an interesting novel. And I'm not putting forth all the information because I'm not looking for advice on what to do in the situation, or solutions- I'm just looking for some camaraderie through a bad situation. Some insights and stories from people who have been through similar.

6fsn · August 2013

My husband's step sister was getting divorced when we were getting married. She skipped the wedding because it was hard for her. Otherwise people were sad for her, but happy for us. It really had no bearing on life.

ETA: That should read it had no real bearing on MY life.

Heffalump · August 2013

I hate this post. It's so much unnecessary drama. Divorce is sad, but you're not the one getting divorced, so calm the fcvk down. I'm sort of weary of all the pregnancy/break up/divorce posts that people write here in which they try to make other people's life events all about themselves. This is none of your business, so leave it alone.

PirateBarbie · August 2013

DixieNormous330 said:

Upsetting I can understand. Hospitalization of her mother because of the stress is overboard and tragedy whoring to me. Obviously, despite it being painful in the immediate, it's the best thing for FSIL to do what she wants for herself and her life.

As for your husband and FxBIL, it will be a real shame if their friendship is altered and irreparable because of this.

you know, it's funny how people get all worked up about differing opinions about "medical" problems on here.

bmom and I made comments about depression/suicide and people jumped down our throats - yet someone's reaction to bad news in their family is denounced as tragedy whoring? this woman could easily have other medical/mental health issues (anxiety, depression, high stress load... whatever), and hearing bad news about her child put her over the edge. given all of the regs that have shared stories of suffering from anxiety/depression/etc. or had a family member with is similar, this seems like a ridiculous reaction

@SBmini - when OSIL and her husband were talking about divorce, she told her mom. MIL (who is generally pretty healthy) had a mild heart attack the next day. maybe it was purely a coincidence, but there's also the chance that the added stress and anxiety ended up manifesting itself into a more serious issue. She initially ended up going to the hospital because she thought she was having a panic attack - chest pain, short of breath, nausea.

I hope that your fMIL is feeling better, and your H and his BIL can maintain their friendship through the divorce.

SBmini · August 2013

Thanks @piratebarbie I do worry a lot about my FMIL because of her heart problems. She does bring a lot of it on herself by taking on way too much and not knowing when to ask for help. This woman will wake up at 5 am, work out, work all day (special-needs teacher at an elementary school), come home, clean the house, cook for 12 people, clean the house again, and then be up with you at midnight talking until you are ready to go to bed, before she'll even think about sleeping. And she'll do it all while refusing assistance from others.

She's been hospitalized twice for high blood pressure/stress- once while planning MFSIL's wedding (which was an incredible over-the-top extravaganza) and once after hearing about the divorce. Now that she's going through another wedding and her daughter's problems. She wants to help out, but I don't want to cause her stress, so I'm trying to involve her in less stressful ways, like asking for her opinion and recommendations.

hmonkey · August 2013

...cook for 12?

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